Sometimes the gifts we give to others end up being the most transformative presents we receive ourselves. Photographer Sabrina Harrison discovered this truth when she decided to book a boudoir photography session as a 40th birthday present for her husband. What began as a thoughtful gesture became a catalyst for profound personal change and ultimately reshaped her entire professional practice.
The decision to step in front of the camera rather than behind it represented a significant vulnerability for Harrison, who had spent years documenting other people’s lives through her lens. As a working photographer specializing in babies, seniors, and families, she found herself well-documented in her professional life but largely absent from personal images. More importantly, she was navigating the complex emotional terrain of postpartum body image, carrying the weight of stories she’d told herself about her body since childhood.
This story matters if you’ve ever struggled with how you see yourself in photographs, if you’ve avoided the camera because you don’t feel ready or worthy, or if you’ve wondered whether professional images could shift something fundamental about your self-perception. It explores a central tension many women face: the gap between how we see ourselves and how others see us, and whether that gap can be bridged through intentional action rather than endless preparation.
When Harrison sat down in her photographer’s studio that day, she didn’t know she was about to unlock a new way of seeing herself. She only knew she wanted to give her husband something meaningful, something only she could offer. The clarity about what this experience would mean came later, through the experience itself.
Clarity Comes Through Action Not Preparation
Harrison found guidance for her decision in the words of the 13th-century poet Rumi: “As you walk on the way, the way appears. Clarity does not come before action. It comes from action.” This wisdom directly challenged the cultural narrative that tells women they need to be “ready” before taking meaningful steps toward self-acceptance.
“I’ve had a chance to really think about that moment in time,” Harrison said. “Rumi said, as you walk on the way, the way appears. Clarity does not come before action. It comes from action.”
Before her session, Harrison was in what she describes as a postpartum phase, feeling disconnected from her body and uncertain about how she would feel being photographed in lingerie and implied nudity. She didn’t have perfect clarity about why she was doing this or what it would mean. She simply took the step.
“I don’t think I was clear before,” Harrison said. “I think I was just kind of open to the experience and I became clear through the experience.”
This distinction matters enormously. Many women delay booking confidence-building experiences like boudoir sessions because they’re waiting to feel ready, to lose weight, to feel better about themselves first. Harrison’s experience suggests this approach has the sequence backward. The transformation doesn’t happen in preparation for the experience—it happens through the experience itself.
For Harrison, being on the client side of photography for the first time in years meant surrendering creative control and trusting another photographer’s vision. This vulnerability, while uncomfortable, created space for something unexpected: the ability to see herself through someone else’s kinder lens.
The Gap Between Self-Perception and Reality
One of the most striking aspects of boudoir photography is its ability to reveal the disconnect between how women perceive their bodies and how others actually see them. Harrison describes this as a common phenomenon among her clients and one she experienced firsthand during her own session.
“I think a lot of the time when we’re experiencing body dysmorphia or we’re like looking at ourselves, we’re looking at ourselves from a very negative or critical perspective,” Harrison said. “And when we see ourselves in a positive light and really seeing ourselves the way that other people see us, that can be just incredibly healing.”
The experience of viewing her own images proved transformative in ways Harrison hadn’t anticipated. She found herself confronting long-held beliefs about her body that had shaped her self-concept since childhood. These weren’t just casual preferences or minor insecurities—they were deeply embedded stories about worthiness and acceptability.
“The beliefs that I had didn’t even necessarily come from me,” Harrison explained. “They came from like a family member or they came from an experience or a bully from school or something like that. And I’d been telling myself that story for so long that I forgot that it was a story and not who I was.”
Seeing professional images that didn’t reflect those old stories created cognitive dissonance in the best possible way. The photographs showed a version of herself that contradicted the narrative she’d been carrying. This forced a reckoning: either the photographs were lying, or the stories were.
For many of Harrison’s clients, this moment of recognition triggers an emotional release. Some cry during the reveal session, not from disappointment but from the relief of finally seeing themselves with compassion. The images don’t show a different person—they show the same person through a lens not distorted by years of self-criticism.
Building Trust Makes Vulnerability Possible
The success of a boudoir photography experience hinges almost entirely on the relationship between photographer and client. Harrison emphasizes that choosing the right photographer isn’t just about technical skill or artistic style—it’s about finding someone who creates genuine safety for vulnerability.
“You really need to trust that person and ideally meet with them before the actual session,” Harrison said. “And you need to feel comfortable and you need to feel seen by them.”
This pre-session meeting serves multiple purposes. It allows the client to gauge whether they feel comfortable with the photographer’s energy and approach. It creates space to discuss concerns, boundaries, and goals for the session. And it establishes the foundation of trust that makes it possible to show up authentically on shoot day.
Harrison’s own experience of being photographed deepened her empathy for her clients in ways that directly improved her professional practice. Understanding the vulnerability of being in front of the lens changed how she approached her work.
The comparison to other types of photography sessions is instructive. When photographing babies, families, or even commercial clients, the stakes feel different. A parent isn’t worried about whether their infant’s body looks acceptable in photographs. Pet owners celebrate their animals’ goofy expressions rather than critiquing them. But when it comes to images of ourselves, particularly intimate images, the internal critic becomes deafening.
Boudoir photography asks clients to quiet that critic long enough to be seen, which requires a photographer who understands they’re not just capturing images but holding space for transformation.
From Personal Transformation to Professional Practice
What began as a birthday gift evolved into a cornerstone of Harrison’s professional identity. After her own transformative experience, she knew she wanted to offer the same possibility to other women. But getting there required experimentation and intentional development of her practice.
Harrison didn’t immediately launch a boudoir business. She started by working with friends and models, learning the specific technical and emotional skills required for this type of photography. She developed client processes that would create safety and build trust. She refined her approach to posing, lighting, and creating an environment where vulnerability could flourish.
The timeline from her personal experience to serving paying boudoir clients involved this period of skill-building and business development. But the motivation was clear: she had experienced firsthand how these images could shift someone’s self-concept, and she wanted to facilitate that shift for others.
“It became a transformational gift for me to see myself through a kinder lens,” Harrison said. “And that just lit a fire in me to want to provide that for other people.”
Today, Harrison describes herself as “a boudoir retreat and branding photographer” who loves “to make women feel good with or without their clothes on.” This framing emphasizes the empowerment aspect of her work rather than positioning it purely as aesthetic documentation.
Her approach extends beyond the photo session itself. Harrison coaches clients through self-criticism and body image struggles using specific techniques designed to shift self-perception gradually rather than demanding immediate transformation.
Practical Tools for Self-Acceptance
Harrison has developed a toolkit of practices she shares with clients who express feeling very self-critical about their bodies. These aren’t quick fixes but rather sustainable approaches to building a more neutral or positive relationship with their physical selves.
One primary technique is mirror work. “Can we get to the place where we see something that we love?” Harrison asked. “Can we get to neutral on the things that we pick on a lot?”
This approach recognizes that jumping directly from self-criticism to body love often fails because the gap is too wide. The subconscious rejects affirmations that feel too distant from current belief. Instead, Harrison guides clients toward body neutrality first—a place of acceptance rather than celebration.
“Could you thank your belly for digesting your food?” Harrison suggested as an example. “Could you thank it for holding your babies and keeping them safe? And then could we bridge to feeling more neutral about it? I have a body, I have a belly. It is okay.”
This gratitude-based approach shifts focus from aesthetic judgment to functional appreciation. Instead of evaluating whether a body part looks acceptable, clients practice acknowledging what their bodies do for them. This creates a pathway toward neutrality that doesn’t require believing themselves beautiful before they’re ready.
Harrison also introduces what she calls “ask-formations” instead of traditional affirmations. Rather than stating “I have a beautiful body” when you don’t believe it, you ask “Why am I so beautiful and unique?” This subtle shift activates different brain circuitry.
“Then your body and your brain starts looking for the answer instead of just kicking it out like, no, I’m not beautiful,” Harrison explained. “If you ask yourself, why am I so beautiful and special? Then your brain’s like, well, why? Yeah, they love my hair or whatever.”
This technique leverages curiosity rather than declaration, allowing the mind to generate its own evidence rather than rejecting externally imposed statements. It’s a more sustainable path toward self-acceptance because the insights come from within rather than being imposed from outside.
The Deep End of Confidence Work
While Harrison offers various types of photography services, she views boudoir as “throwing yourself into the deep end” of confidence work. It’s not necessarily where everyone should start their self-acceptance journey, but for those ready to take the leap, it offers profound possibilities.
The common fears around boudoir photography are predictable: concerns about postpartum bodies, stretch marks, not meeting conventional beauty standards, and anxiety about judgment from the photographer and potentially from others who might see the images. Harrison has heard all of these concerns repeatedly from prospective clients.
What makes the experience transformative isn’t that these fears disappear. It’s that moving forward despite them proves something important: that the stories we tell ourselves about our unworthiness are just stories, not immutable facts about reality.
When clients see their images and recognize themselves as beautiful, sensual, or powerful—often for the first time—they’re forced to confront the possibility that their self-concept has been skewed by criticism rather than reality. This doesn’t erase years of conditioning overnight, but it creates a crack in the armor of self-doubt that can gradually widen.
Harrison’s work represents a particular intersection of art, commerce, and emotional labor. She’s not just a photographer capturing images; she’s facilitating an experience designed to shift how women relate to themselves. The images are the artifact of that experience, but the real product is the transformation in self-perception.
The journey from gifting boudoir photos to her husband to building a photography practice centered on women’s empowerment illustrates how personal transformation often precedes professional evolution. Harrison didn’t set out to become a boudoir photographer—she set out to give her husband a meaningful gift and ended up receiving something far more valuable: a new way of seeing herself.
That gift, once received, became something she couldn’t keep to herself. The impulse to share it, to create the conditions where other women might experience the same shift in self-perception, reshaped her entire professional identity. She moved from being someone who photographed whatever came her way to someone with a clear mission: helping women see themselves with kindness.
The Rumi quote that guided Harrison’s initial decision continues to resonate: clarity comes through action, not before it. This truth applies not just to booking a boudoir session but to any step toward self-acceptance. We rarely feel ready. We rarely have perfect clarity. We take the step anyway, and the path reveals itself as we walk.
For women navigating postpartum body changes, life transitions, or simply the accumulated weight of years of self-criticism, Harrison’s story offers a particular kind of hope. It suggests that transformation doesn’t require months of preparation or achieving some threshold of readiness. It requires taking one imperfect step toward seeing yourself differently and allowing that experience to unfold in its own way.
Sometimes the most powerful gift we can give ourselves is the simple willingness to be seen.
This article was inspired by an interview with Sabrina Harrison and Amy Stone on The Art of Imperfect Adulting podcast. https://imperfect-adulting.captivate.fm/listen https://www.youtube.com/@imperfectadulting To hear more compelling conversations like this one and receive special offers from our guests directly to your inbox, join our email community today.
Connect with Sabrina Harrison through her website: https://www.sabrinaharrisonphotography.com/
Career Interview Transcript Sabrina Harrison with Amy Stone | The Art of Imperfect Adulting | February 2026
Amy Stone [00:00:05]:
Welcome to the art of imperfect adulting. Sabrina Harrison, are you ready for a fun chat?
Sabrina Harrison [00:00:11]:
I’m so ready. Thank you so much for having me.
Amy Stone [00:00:14]:
I’m happy you’re here. I start all my conversations asking everybody the same repetitive question. What part of the world do you call home?
Sabrina Harrison [00:00:21]:
I live in Westminster, Colorado, and if you’re not familiar with Colorado, that is a suburb in the Denver area.
Amy Stone [00:00:28]:
Very cool. Next warm up question. Before we get to the topic of the day, although I cheated a little bit on this one with you, how do you feel about Valentine’s Day presents?
Sabrina Harrison [00:00:39]:
I think that they should not be compulsory. But personally, with my own relationship, I think that it’s really nice to have an opportunity to show that person, person that means so much to you, how special they are or to decide to spice things up and kind of split the script if you’ve been in a longer relationship, maybe you know what I’m talking about. So, like, I don’t love the compulsory nature of it, and I don’t think that you should necessarily have to get flowers or chocolate. But I do think that it’s an amazing opportunity to show yourself some love. And I do think it’s an amazing opportunity if you do have a wonderful partner, to show them love too.
Amy Stone [00:01:23]:
How do you feel about it? They’re sort of the same. I have a rebound reaction to, like, any, any day that’s like, today is the day that you must do this. Like, it’s like, you know, but that’s just me being me. And then with regard to, like, Valentine’s Day, like, I am not a flowers person. Like, because. And my reason is really dumb, but I feel badly for the flowers.
Sabrina Harrison [00:01:50]:
What about potted flowers?
Amy Stone [00:01:51]:
No, that would be different. That would be different. But when people give cut flowers, especially on Valentine’s Day, where they’re frozen for a long time because it’s the biggest flower day of the year. It’s like, hi, here, have something that’s gonna die. I killed this plant for you. Like, I know that I’m a weirdo with that. That’s like totally. Like, I don’t expect anybody else to. If you come to me and you’re like, amy, that’s dumb. I’m like, I know, I know. But nonetheless, go straight to chocolate. Drive through.
Sabrina Harrison [00:02:15]:
All right.
Amy Stone [00:02:17]:
Exactly. Exactly.
Sabrina Harrison [00:02:18]:
All right.
Amy Stone [00:02:18]:
So in this conversation today, we’re going to talk about photography. Specifically, you are a working professional photographer, But a few years ago, and we’ll talk about it, you actually hired someone to take pictures of you, which is always a fun Thing to be the client in a thing that you are normally professional. That took you down a path of self exploration and I think it even changed some stuff about your business. Are you ready to talk with me about that?
Sabrina Harrison [00:02:45]:
Yeah, let’s dive in.
Amy Stone [00:02:46]:
All right, let’s do it. Let’s back up. Before we even talk about this photo session. Do you remember how old you were when you first discovered an interest or passion or affection for photography?
Sabrina Harrison [00:02:58]:
Ooh, I think that it’s actually in my genes. My grandfather was a professional photographer with a studio and so I grew up with my dad, who very much got it from him, like, hey, your hips don’t bite. Everybody get together. That kind of thing. And I have a very well documented childhood and wedding and everything. So I and like my siblings are very much into photography. I think it’s just, it’s just something that’s all in our blood.
Amy Stone [00:03:27]:
Family business. Family business. All right, so then, do you remember what your first camera was?
Sabrina Harrison [00:03:36]:
Oh, that’s a good question. My first camera that was actually mine was a. Was a Canon film camera. That’s how when I was in college, I got a new camera for photography classes and we were still shooting with film. But what we would do then, because it was like cusping on the digital age, was we would take. We would develop the film and then scan the film to Photoshop. And I know you’re a photographer too, so you maybe remember.
Amy Stone [00:04:07]:
I do, I do.
Sabrina Harrison [00:04:10]:
And then edit it from there in Photoshop.
Amy Stone [00:04:12]:
Yeah, yeah. So I, yeah, I started with black and white film and in the dark room and then definitely went through the phase where we, when I was like when back when I was still working for publications, we would shoot color film and then scan it for the newspapers and the magazines. And so yeah, no, I totally. I still have buried in my closet somewhere like some of the cassettes and things from the darkroom at one point. So they sold off my school oriented school. They eventually sold off all their enlargers from the darkroom and I bought one and did nothing with it for like forever. And then finally like gave it to a school nearby. But I. It was so fun. Dark rooms were fun. Anyway, off track, off track. But one more silly photo nerd question. If you had to go the rest of your life with only one lens to use forever and ever in all situations, what would it be?
Sabrina Harrison [00:05:06]:
It would be a 35.
Amy Stone [00:05:08]:
That is my choice too. 35. 1.4. Absolutely.
Sabrina Harrison [00:05:12]:
Absolutely. Yeah. I’ve got a razor sharp 35 millimeter. And I personally love being that distance from a client, which is a pretty, like, personal distance, so that I can give a lot of direction and communicate a lot. Um, I know that, like, wedding photographers love like, a 7 to 70 to 1 20, so that they can kind of get bird’s eye view and more like editorial candidates. But when I’m working with a client, it’s like, I’m very much helping them with every single detail. So I want to be able to be close to them.
Amy Stone [00:05:45]:
Yeah. And I no longer do client work. So for me, the 35, you get a bit of the perspective, you know, not that I wouldn’t also, if I was going on safari, be like, please send me with a 400. Okay, so off that. Off that topic. All right, so very great. I would rent it. I would rent it. I would. I would rent it. I would borrow it. I would hit up anybody who I knew and be like, let me take yours. I’ll buy it if I break it. So for your. For your husband’s 40th birthday, this is the event that kicked off this discussion. You made a decision that you were going to give him some photos of you as a present. Tell us about where the idea for this present came from. Like, so put yourself before this, and what was the thought process going into through your mind? Like, I’m going to give him some photos of me.
Sabrina Harrison [00:06:35]:
So I was already working as a photographer. I was taking pictures of, like, babies and seniors and pregnant women and families and just anything that came my way. So photography was already, like, kind of top of mind, but I was more like behind the lens. And so I wasn’t very well documented at that moment in time. And I felt like it was a very personal present. Like, anyone could give him a. A new, like, dress shirt or a mug or whatever. I’m literally the only person that could give him this gift of me. And so I love that that was the case that I was, like. It was a unique thing that only I could do for him. And I’ve had a chance to, like, really think about, like, that moment in time. And I found a roomy quote that I actually think really encapsulates, like, my feeling about it. Rumi said, as you walk on the way, the way appears, clarity does not come before action. It comes from action.
Amy Stone [00:07:46]:
Oh, yeah.
Sabrina Harrison [00:07:47]:
Yeah. So I, like, I had a knowing that I was, like, ready to reclaim my body. I was postpartum and, you know, going through that whole journey with children and nursing and, like, having your body not be your own. I was just, like, kind of freshly on the other side of weaning my second child. And so I was like, I was ready to take a leap into the unknown, and I was ready to, like, really show my husband how much I loved him. But the clarity actually came from the doing. The clarity. I didn’t have a ton of clarity when I did it. Does that make sense?
Amy Stone [00:08:31]:
Well, for me, it does. But I’m a person who’s kind. I feel like that’s one of the messages that I shout from my little perch here, isolated in my cocoon of production. When people ask me about starting something new, people seem to always really want to have a conclusion and have it be perfect and know that it’s going to work before they start. And I just kind of say. I’m like, I don’t even think that’s possible. I say, you know, you’ve got to create enough of it and get it further out there to. To even know, like, it’s gonna. Doesn’t happen until you do it. You don’t know. You can, you know, read about, you know, walking or running or doing things and study it forever and ever, but you won’t know what it’s like to do it until you try, you know, like. Yeah, and so I, like, I think that that’s. And it is. It is a. A mindset shift and an awareness. And Rumi says it so nicely and poetically, like, it’s hard to do stuff. I’m sure it’s like, I don’t know what’s going to happen if I jump off this cliff. I don’t know if the water is cold, but you won’t know, like, until you do it. And that’s where the clarity comes from. You won’t even know by watching other people. So somebody jumps off the cliff in front of you, that’s reassuring that they make it right.
Sabrina Harrison [00:09:43]:
Right.
Amy Stone [00:09:44]:
But if they know rock there. But they might be like, hey, the water is cold. And you’re like, all right, I understand that. I know what that is. No, you don’t. You don’t know what it feels like because you’re going to jump in and you’re like, oh, that’s what you meant when you said cold. Now I know what you mean. I feel that it’s cold. Now I understand. And so I agree with you. I agree with Rumi. I think that’s fantastic. All right, so you have this idea you’re going to give your husband these photographs. It’s a very specific type of photos that you’re giving him, which is boudoir. Photos. That’s the idea of the gift. Right. So I want to get everybody in alignment. You, me, everybody listening and watching. Explain, like, generally speaking, what does this mean as a style of photography? Like, what are we talking about?
Sabrina Harrison [00:10:25]:
It’s generally in lingerie or some, like, version of undress. Some of my clients choose to be in lingerie, only some of them do not even choose to be in lingerie. Maybe they’re in pajamas or they’re, like, taking off a dress or they’re in a jersey or something like that, but it’s some form of undress. And then some of my clients take that all the way to nude, and some don’t.
Amy Stone [00:10:48]:
And what did you do?
Sabrina Harrison [00:10:49]:
I did. I undressed, like, from a dress into lingerie, and then I did some implied nudity where it looks like you’re naked, but you can’t actually see that you’re naked.
Amy Stone [00:11:01]:
Okay. All right. So that’s the concept. That’s the concept behind the gift. Do. So if I understand it correctly, you did. Did you take these photos of yourself or you hired somebody you were trusting another creator to take these photos of you?
Sabrina Harrison [00:11:15]:
Yeah, I had a friend that I. That I asked to help me, and we rented a hotel room, and that’s how we decided to do it. And then I. I kind of, like, had an idea for some of the poses that I thought would be sexy, and then we kind of just, like, rolled with it and kind of vogued through that pose flow. And they also had some ideas. So I think I probably had a greater knowledge of what I was getting myself into than most of my clients do when they begin the journey. Just because I had done some research and I knew what it was like to be on the other side of the lens and how I might pose, as opposed to just being, like, the subject who is being posed. Does that make sense?
Amy Stone [00:12:00]:
It does. So you reflected earlier. I think there’s a couple of interesting things about the timing of this. You said you were postpartum. You had two kids. Was your family complete at that time, or did you go on to have more kids?
Sabrina Harrison [00:12:12]:
Yeah.
Amy Stone [00:12:13]:
Okay. So for people who are listening who have not had children, the first kid changes your body not as much as the second kid. I will say from experience, that is the bigger. And I think so. You know, that is a thing that I was first led into by a trainer that I worked with at the time. They were like, get ready. This is the bigger shift in your body. It is a massive adjustment, which everybody says. And so that is an interesting time to Be thinking about it. The other thing is that I would love to hear you mentioned that you were not really, because you were the woman in the family, but also the photographer. You were not really documented very well in, like, sort of the memory books of your family, which is a. A classic thing. Flip through an album and it’s like, where is. Insert the family photographer? They’re behind the camera.
Sabrina Harrison [00:12:58]:
Right.
Amy Stone [00:12:58]:
They’re not in all the pictures. What was it like to. In your mind, in your mental talk, in the decision process? Like, where were you in this? In choosing to hire somebody else and be like, I want to be in these pictures? Like, what did that feel like?
Sabrina Harrison [00:13:13]:
It was super scary. I was very nervous about it because you’re seating control. And photographers notoriously love to be in control of the image and the composition and how they’re being portrayed and everything. So it’s definitely not as comfortable as being on the other side of the lens for me. But for me, that was a very important part of it because I really wanted to truly have empathy for how my clients would feel. They don’t know how it’s. How it’s looking on the other side of the lens, and they have to really. They have to trust the process.
Amy Stone [00:13:47]:
Yeah. And I mean, we talked about the olden days before digital cameras. Today, you can chimp a little bit and see the image previews and get an idea of what they’re looking like. But back in the olden days, in the 1900s, when I was in school. I love that. It’s like a totally different number for that. I love. It’s my new favorite joke. I’m like, when I was in College in the 1900s, and there was no preview. Right. It was a delay. And so you really had to trust. But now you can do it a little bit. But I think that that crosses over industries. People normally say one of the most famous is doctors make terrible patients. It’s like to be on the other side, something that you are a master of and usually you’re very familiar with. It’s a leap to hand the creative control or the professional job over to somebody else and be the client. You knew the person. This is a friend that you were working. Working with.
Sabrina Harrison [00:14:41]:
Yeah.
Amy Stone [00:14:42]:
So you were comfortable.
Sabrina Harrison [00:14:44]:
I was comfortable. And I think that that’s part of it, and that’s definitely part that I’ve built into my process. Like, I insist on having a meeting with people before they’re taking their clothes off so that we can get more comfortable. Because I think if someone was just like, hey, come over to my studio and take your clothes off. I’d be like, okay, no thanks.
Amy Stone [00:15:00]:
You know, well, and to put. But two, I don’t know if you’ve ever done commercial work. People who work, like in, you know, catalog work and models, they have no, like, it’s like, it is. They are there. They will change their clothes right in front of. There are people who would be. Yeah, that’s normal. Totally fine. Here’s my, you know, like, so. Yeah, yeah.
Sabrina Harrison [00:15:19]:
And working with models after that, I. They’re definitely more at home in their bodies in that regard.
Amy Stone [00:15:28]:
Yeah. No, and I like, so. And I call the tropics home. Miami, Florida. So, like, people are very comfortable being, you know, in a. In a state of semi undress. So it does depend on where you are, but mostly speaking, absolutely. Like walking in and being like, hi, get naked. That would be a rapid introduction. So with you, you knew this person. You had a concept of what you wanted to do. Am I understanding correctly that even though this was a gift for your husband, it was absolutely something that you were also thinking about for your photo business? So you were doing this was the. You were experiencing it with the idea of adding this to the things that you were going to offer right from the start?
Sabrina Harrison [00:16:06]:
No, I was just going into it as the experience. And it was coming out of the experience and actually seeing the photos that I let it, like, wash over me. And I was like. I was like, oh, hey, I feel.
Amy Stone [00:16:24]:
So much better about myself.
Sabrina Harrison [00:16:25]:
Like, this is literally looking at myself through a kinder lens than I do maybe in the mirror. And I really wanted to try to create that for other people. It was coming out of it, going into it. That was not the intention.
Amy Stone [00:16:46]:
I was just very cool. All right. So very cool. So what do you shared with me on the intake firm that we’ve talked about offline between the two of us that with. You didn’t realize it when you started this process, but you say that with time and perspective, you realize that this gift that you were giving your husband was actually for you. And so you started to talk a little bit about how it changed your concept. Tell us more about what that means to you.
Sabrina Harrison [00:17:16]:
I was able to just set down some, like, mental baggage that I had been carrying around in my brain for a really long time. And I think that this is especially important postpartum because you have to learn how to love your body all over again. And it has new features at that point.
Amy Stone [00:17:39]:
New bonus features.
Sabrina Harrison [00:17:41]:
Bonus features. Yeah. And so I like, it was very, very transformational for Me, I felt more capable, I felt more confident, and I felt like I was lovable.
Amy Stone [00:17:54]:
All right, all of that from the photos. Okay, so that’s really interesting because let’s talk about how photos and images, they sometimes have a very direct connection to self concept.
Sabrina Harrison [00:18:10]:
Right.
Amy Stone [00:18:10]:
So. Which is a weird thing to kind of think about because I don’t think that, you know, most of the time you just think of it, it’s just a picture. Like what? You know, don’t make too much of it. Right. It’s just a picture. But like going back to. And I am just, I am pulling out a Psychology 101 reference that could be completely wrong. And people can tell me, but the. There’s a concept of self concept where it’s like, this is what I think of myself. And there’s another one which is that this is how I think that other people see me and judge me. Those are two ideas of the same thing. But with photos, right? When somebody hands you a picture of yourself or you see a picture of yourself in a frame or in an album, those two things come crashing together. Like so if you have a concept that doesn’t match the photo, that can be great. Like, oh, look how great I am. Or it could be like, oh my gosh, I did not realize that that is what I showed looked like in the camera. So what were, did you have concerns when you started this? Like, you knew you were postpartum, you knew you wanted to give your husband this, but did you have concerns and fears as you went into this project and what did those look like and feel like?
Sabrina Harrison [00:19:15]:
My concerns were like the common concerns that I hear all the time. I am like, my belly is not my favorite part of my body, especially postpartum. It I had like some new stretch marks and so I was very concerned about how those were going to come across the camera. And they just didn’t feel like they belonged to me. And, and I do think that most, most people have some level of dysmorphia where they don’t actually see themselves as other people see themselves.
Amy Stone [00:19:44]:
Yeah.
Sabrina Harrison [00:19:46]:
And I think that boudoir can be really helpful and healing in that it helps you actually see it as it exists and not as like it exists when you make a huge deal of it in the mirror, when you’re being self critical and picking yourself apart, like you make it a much bigger deal than it actually is. And when we’re looking at ourselves in our belly and we’re maybe like pushing it out or we’re like focusing on the things that we don’t like about it. And you’re not seeing it in space or with posing. So, like, my stretch marks, like, largely did not even show up because of the way that the light hit my body. And I find that that’s true with my clients, too, that, like, sometimes light will pick something up and sometimes it doesn’t. And so it’s like, okay, so in reality, it’s not an obvious thing to other people. Like, it is to me when I’m really super focusing on it. And when I move my body in different ways, maybe I elongate my torso. Maybe you’re seeing me from the back and I’ve turned my head back to look at you. Like, it’s not an obvious thing to other people, and it’s not something that really draws your focus as another person. It just does as the subject. And so when I saw it, I was like, oh, like, that’s just part of me. It’s not nearly as big of a deal as I thought it was or, like, as gross as I believed it was beforehand. Does that make sense?
Amy Stone [00:21:25]:
I think so. I mean, I think that I would say that, you know, if you’re in the dressing room of, you know, Bloomingdale’s or Macy’s or whatever, and you’re looking at your outfit in the mirror, you’re looking for, you know, sort of imperfections. Like, does it fit? Like, where doesn’t it fit? And then. And so what you’re saying is that I’m going to rephrase it. You tell me if I get it correct, if I understand and put it in my own words. You were concerned that the things that you saw as imperfection and not good enough were going to show up in the pictures that you were going to give to your. To your husband. And that was, you know, facing that. Like, I don’t. I don’t want to highlight my flaws. I want to, you know, I want it to be a pretty picture. And that’s a. You know, that’s a definitely something, you know, as a concept that’s beaten into us in most families forever. It’s like our parents are like, make sure you smile for the school photo. You know, take a good picture. You know, all of those things. So I think that that’s a reasonable thing. Okay. Did you. Did you have any concerns about what the photographer who you were working with would think of you or what they would say or judge you during the process or any sneaky things about, you know, what my husband think when he sees these photos?
Sabrina Harrison [00:22:46]:
So I Was comforted by the idea that, like, okay, well, if I feel good, my husband is probably going to love these because he loves me, and it’s nothing he hasn’t seen before.
Amy Stone [00:22:59]:
Right. Okay. All right.
Sabrina Harrison [00:23:03]:
But I did feel slightly concerned about being judged by the photographer for just not having, like, a body that needs the beauty standard. But that was very quickly kind of washed away just through the experience and getting more comfortable.
Amy Stone [00:23:20]:
Yeah, I mean, I think that that is, you know, that there’s. There’s layers of that that you can unpack, because most of us are not Runway models who are going to show up in. In the photos like that. But that doesn’t alleviate the pressure that when you put yourself in that situations, like, who am I to. To do this and go through this? So I think that that’s. I think that’s a good thing to be aware of. Thing about it. Okay, so you shared that this process for you, the process of having these photos taken of you in the context of giving them as a gift, unearth some of your own confidence issues. Which is interesting to talk to you about it today because you’ve already done all the work. So it’s like going back and thinking about it then for me, it’s easy to imagine, you know, the confidence issues. Right. And we, like, when we look good in photos, we may not, like when somebody catches us as a. In a candid photo and we don’t look great. Sometimes we can be surprised by how we show up in reflections and in and in photos, especially with this thing called age. So, like, talk a little bit more about what the confidence side uncovered as part of the process. What did that feel like for you?
Sabrina Harrison [00:24:37]:
I think that I had some limiting beliefs that I had. I think, thought I had put to.
Amy Stone [00:24:44]:
Bed.
Sabrina Harrison [00:24:46]:
But really I just had not dealt with them.
Amy Stone [00:24:52]:
Sort of bypassed that.
Sabrina Harrison [00:24:53]:
Right? Exactly. I maybe, like, shove them under the. The carpet instead of, like, actually dealing with them. And my lack of confidence came from when I was a little girl. I def. I have two, like, beautiful, skinny sisters. And I definitely felt like I was, like, less worth worthy because I was a curvy girl. And, you know, I’ll never forget in third grade, my mom was like, basically, you can’t have dessert because you don’t need it. But she, like, continued to buy it for my siblings. So there was this, like, othering that happened from a pretty young age. And so when I was facing the idea of, like, being like, fairly unclothed in photographs, all of those things came back, like, kind of crashing back. That you know, I didn’t have a Runway body. I had a postpartum body. And, like, maybe that. That body was not as good as other bodies or not lovable or not pretty. And, like, I. When I saw the photos, after going through, like, how nervous I was to take them and how I was worried about being judged, I really, just. For the first time, like, I felt like I could let go of so much of that. That it was. That that was just a story I was telling myself.
Amy Stone [00:26:28]:
So there’s a lot that you touched in there. The, you know, the pressure of beauty concepts within your family and the worthiness. So, yeah, no, the worthiness of dessert. Everybody gets to eat dessert. You can eat dessert for breakfast. It doesn’t make you a good person or not. But I do think that that’s a part of culture that is, you know, is still. Still around to this day. It has not gone away. We do still very much prioritize and value and highlight people who look a very specific way. And it’s very easy for people to say, oh, if I don’t look like that, I don’t get to have this. Great. And that’s unfortunate because most of us do not look like that. And it gets in the way of living your very real life.
Sabrina Harrison [00:27:19]:
Or, I’m going to torture myself through this experience. Like, you still have to go to the pool party, but you’re going to, like, feel horrible through the experience.
Amy Stone [00:27:31]:
Or people don’t. People opt out. They drop their kids off for the pool party because they don’t want to be seen in a swimsuit. They don’t participate in the photos. You know, we all have these in our family. The person who’s not ever in the group photo or doesn’t hang the photos because they don’t like to see themselves in their own house. And, yeah, it’s. You know, those things are all there. Did it surprise you that you were nervous to do this? Seeing as it was your profession, like, to turn the lens? Were you surprised by how nervous you got to go through it?
Sabrina Harrison [00:28:03]:
No, because it was. It was still a new level for me.
Amy Stone [00:28:08]:
Okay.
Sabrina Harrison [00:28:09]:
Like, I hadn’t shot any boudoir yet. I had just been doing other kinds of photography, and so I hadn’t done any modeling yet. I’m a lot less nervous now to get in front of the lens if I have a new outfit for my client closet to show off. Or, like, for example, right now, my husband and I have been practicing like. Like Santa Claus, like a fireman’s carry with.
Amy Stone [00:28:36]:
Okay.
Sabrina Harrison [00:28:37]:
Up in the air with me and, like, kind of like a little Santa baby, like, baby doll, like a red thing that has, like, white on the edges, like a little, like, Santa uniform. And, like, I’m much less nervous to do that and, like, hit it with a timer because I practice so much, and I have gotten back in front of the lens over and over again. But it does. Like, there is a twinge that’s like. And these are on the Internet, right?
Amy Stone [00:29:02]:
No. Yeah. And everything has changed. Like, so. But there is also. There’s. So there’s a new. There’s a new phenomenon with all the social media stuff and everything is that people. There’s a secondary judgment where people make an assumption often, and a judgment about people who do have public personalities and do put themselves out for those things. And some people would describe it as cringy, you know, and other people, like, it’s my job. It’s like, you know, just take it for what it is. So it’s a. It’s a whole other level of those things. All right, so you mentioned this a second ago. You started it, but I want you to walk me through what your experience was. You were nervous to do it. You were unsure of it. It uncovered some of these confidence issues. Walk us through your experience of seeing the photos of you for the first time.
Sabrina Harrison [00:29:49]:
When I saw the photos of me for the first time, I felt great relief that they didn’t look terrible. Like, I was worried they would. And then I just actually let them wash over me. And I. I felt really sexy. I felt really good. And I. And all of those, like, previous concepts of having, like, an unlovable or an unworthy body, I was like, I can put that down because I feel really good about myself.
Amy Stone [00:30:22]:
That is fantastic. All right, so was there ever a time any part of this process like, that you ran the scenario in your head? You’re like, I can do this, and then I can maybe not even give them to my husband.
Sabrina Harrison [00:30:35]:
No. Once I saw them, I was like, oh, if I’m happy with them, like, he’s going to be thrilled. Okay.
Amy Stone [00:30:42]:
All right. Very good. Very good. Okay. So obviously, having boudoir photos taken of yourself is not the only way to face the issues of body confidence and things like that. But it is definitely one way to do it. Definitely. So you have mentioned this throughout this. Like, that now you have turned around, and this is something that you offer as a product and a process that you take clients through. Connect the dots here for how that actually happened, how you went from being somebody who was Like, I’m going to try this for myself all the way through for, like, this is something I’m going to do as a part of my business for other people.
Sabrina Harrison [00:31:16]:
So when I saw the photos and I kind of let myself level up from that experience, I. I sat with it and I gave them to my husband. He was thrilled and he, he was super supportive. And then I, it took me like a couple weeks to say, like, well, how could I offer this to other women? Because it was so meaningful to me and it did really help me transform and, like, believe myself and like, I could do scary things and I was okay on the other side. And I did feel really good and sexy and like, really in my body. Like, I think that there is a somatic connection where you’re like, okay, I can live here. And so then I reached out to friends and I was like, hey, do you mind if I could I work out like a pose flow and give you a couple photos to like, figure out what I’m doing and then working through the process with them. I was like, okay, yeah, I want to market this. I want to have this be part of my business. And that’s when I niche down. So it was probably like three weeks or a month from then, and then probably like three more months before I was like, okay, I’m going to try to figure out this with models and friends and. And then by August of that next year, I had my first paying client.
Amy Stone [00:32:46]:
Very, very nice. I mean, it’s so interesting to think about this sort of niche within photography, right? Because, you know, you take pictures of babies, nobody’s worried about, like, you know, whether or not to show the, like, little fat rolls. Like, we love it. I love the rolls on babies.
Sabrina Harrison [00:33:03]:
It’s so life affirming, right?
Amy Stone [00:33:05]:
You know, and you take pet photos and family photos. Like, nobody’s worried about, you know, the goofy face of, of the animal because it’s the way we see them. But, you know, when it comes to, like, wedding photos, you know, it’s a lot of concern that we want it to look, you know, the way we want it to look. Family photos, group photos, the family fight, everybody getting ready. You will wear this shirt and you will be happy about it. That’s like a, you know, a comedy skit that plays out in every single family. But then this is a very, you know, this is a concept that you have leaned heavily into. You know, this isn’t it? There’s an empowerment and an identity component of this that is part, part of the, it’s more Than just the pictures.
Sabrina Harrison [00:33:46]:
Absolutely, absolutely. But I do think that boudoir is throwing yourself into the deep end.
Amy Stone [00:33:52]:
So I think that maybe start with a head shut.
Sabrina Harrison [00:33:55]:
Well, maybe. Or like, I, I do offer my clients, like a lot of different ways to kind of help themselves with self confidence and loving themselves before we get to the photo shoot. So if they mention that they feel like, like very self critical, I’ll talk about mirror work with them. Like, can we get to the place where we see something that we love?
Amy Stone [00:34:17]:
Okay.
Sabrina Harrison [00:34:17]:
Can we get to neutral on the things that we pick on a lot? Like, could you thank your belly for digesting your food? Could you thank it for holding your babies and keeping them safe? And like, then could we bridge to feeling more neutral about it? I have a body, I have a belly. It is okay.
Amy Stone [00:34:36]:
Yeah.
Sabrina Harrison [00:34:37]:
And then, and then we can get to, you know, more positive. But I find if people are just saying affirmations like, I have a beautiful body and they legit cannot list things. When I ask them, what do you love about your body? They’re just not gonna believe it. Your subconscious is gonna just like, whoop, don’t believe that. That’s way too far. This is a bridge too far. And so I think these little baby steps can help just with the daily mirror work and also so asking in affirmations instead, I call them ask formations instead of affirmations. So, like, why am I so beautiful and unique? Why am I the person to give this message? Why am I the person to give this gift? Because then your body and your brain starts looking for the answer instead of just kicking it out like, no, I’m not beautiful. I don’t believe that. I’m just not gonna. And then you feel diminished by it. If you’re like, like, I am hot and you don’t believe that you’re hot, then you’re like, oh, it just brings it back again. But if you ask yourself, why am I so beautiful and special? Then your brain’s like, well, why? Yeah, yeah, they love my hair or whatever, you know?
Amy Stone [00:35:50]:
Right. No, I love that. That is fantastic. All right, so in a minute, we’re going to do the final questions. But I. You have the people who are watching on YouTube. You can see, see that it’s Sabrina Harrison photography. But tell the audience what you. What you do and how they can find you online after they listen or watch this interview.
Sabrina Harrison [00:36:10]:
I am a boudoir retreat and branding photographer. I like to say I love to make women feel good with or without their clothes on. And you can find me At Sabrina Harrison Photography. That is my website. That is my Instagram handle. That is my Facebook. It’s very easy, and I would love to help you level up. I would love to help you love yourself.
Amy Stone [00:36:33]:
Fantastic. You have a special offer for the audience, which is a confidence workshop called Glow up to show up. And so there. Normally that’s $47, but it’ll be free for the audience. There’s a link in the show notes where you’re listening or watching the show. The easiest way for everybody who’s in the audience to get those links is to subscribe to the imperfect adulting email community, because then you don’t have to dig through the show notes. It comes straight into your inbox and you can just click it. You don’t have to even listen to all the episodes or watch them because I send the recap once a week. So I always share with people that that is the easiest way to do that. Thank you so much, Sabrina, for that very special offer. As we were going through this, I was thinking that there’s another element of this that is coming with all the people who are doing AI modifications of photos. Like you could do, you know, tell your friend Mr. Chatgpt or, you know, hey, make boudoir photography of me. That’s like, not even me, just a whole other element. But then it wouldn’t actually be you. That’s a conversation for another day. Not for today. We’re gonna go straight into the final questions. Are you ready?
Sabrina Harrison [00:37:35]:
I’m ready.
Amy Stone [00:37:36]:
Let’s do it. Do you like to travel? And if you do, what website do you use to find your best deals on airplane tickets?
Sabrina Harrison [00:37:46]:
Oh, I do love to travel. I.
Amy Stone [00:37:50]:
It’s like. She’s like, random question, Amy.
Sabrina Harrison [00:37:53]:
Yeah, I don’. Love airplanes, but I love being other places. And I generally do, like, an incognito Google search so that it doesn’t have my metadata. And then I’ll just kind of scroll through and see who has the best offer.
Amy Stone [00:38:08]:
Oh, so you do the incognito. So it doesn’t know. That is very. That’s a good tip because I have learned that if I like. I have learned that my search, the pricing changes when I log in with my free flyer miles. It’s like, oh, now here’s your real price pricing. Except not really, because once you book it, then we’re going to actually charge you for your seat. But anyway, like, air travel is annoying in 2025. All right, next question. Do you shop online? And if so, what’s something you bought recently that you’re pretty happy with the purchase.
Sabrina Harrison [00:38:40]:
I do shop online and something that I bought recently because my husband’s birthday is coming up again is a set from Thistle Inspire. It has has flames on it, and I love that lingerie company. It’s like very adjustable and it’s handmade and it’s women owned, and it’s Thistle and spire. Thistle Inspire.
Amy Stone [00:39:00]:
Yeah, Thistle and Spire. All right. I’ve never heard of it. Totally gonna check it out. All right. If I invited you over to my house for movie night, which would be a long drive because you’re in Colorado and I’m in Florida, but let’s go with it. But you get to pick the movie that we’re gonna watch. Putting you on the spot. What’s the movie that you’d pick?
Sabrina Harrison [00:39:16]:
Pick. This time of year, Just right now, like today.
Amy Stone [00:39:26]:
Like, if it was today, what would it be?
Sabrina Harrison [00:39:28]:
I would totally pick some, like, Hallmark Christmas trash because it’s so low stakes and it’s literally like the same house every time. Like in the same house. Like, as a photographer, you notice the sets and stuff. Yeah, yeah. So I would definitely pick one of.
Amy Stone [00:39:45]:
Those Hallmark holiday movie. That’s a wonderful thing that. That’s it. Sabrina Harrison, thank you so much for being a wonderful guest today on the show.
Sabrina Harrison [00:39:52]:
Thank you so much, Amy. I really appreciate being here and having the chance to tell my story.