The Sunday evening dread hits like clockwork. Your stomach churns as you think about walking into the office tomorrow morning. You have what everyone calls a “good job”—steady paycheck, benefits, respect from family and friends. Yet something feels fundamentally wrong. You find yourself thinking, “I’ve got to figure out what I want to do because this isn’t it.”
The internal conflict between security and authenticity affects millions of professionals who feel trapped in careers that provide financial stability but drain their life force. It’s the paradox of modern work: we’re told to be grateful for steady employment while simultaneously encouraged to “follow our passion.” But what happens when staying safe becomes the riskiest choice of all?
Amanda Bearce faced this exact dilemma during her eight-year career in IT. As a client-technical liaison, she spent her days monitoring networks, fielding emergency calls, and speaking languages she understood but didn’t love. “I felt like I could not be authentic because my clients can’t know that I don’t like what I’m doing, that I really don’t care whether their network is up or not,” Amanda reflects. “So I just felt like I had to fake it all day, every day. And that felt gross to me.”
This story illuminates a question: How do we know when it’s time to abandon the safety of steady employment for the uncertainty of something more meaningful? The answer lies in understanding the true cost of staying versus the real risk of leaving.
The Seductive Trap of Safe Career Choices
Corporate jobs often represent the path of least resistance—especially for young adults facing pressure to make seemingly permanent career decisions. Amanda’s journey into IT exemplifies this phenomenon. “I always say that I think, you know, back in the day when there used to be physical catalogs, that I must have just been like flipping through it and I was like, oh, I’ll do that. Because I have no idea why I decided to work in IT.”
The influence of well-meaning family members often reinforces these choices. Amanda recalls “a little nudge from my mom saying, you know, these people at my work are making a lot of money and they’re really in high demand.” This guidance, while practical, can steer us toward careers that satisfy external expectations rather than internal fulfillment.
The problem isn’t that people make uninformed career choices—it’s that we’re expected to make them too early with too little self-awareness. “Now that I’m a more self aware human being, I think I would have realized right away that it was not the choice for me,” Amanda observes. “But you know, 18, 19 year old me was chugging along thinking this was what we had to do.”
Corporate safety becomes a trap when we mistake external validation for personal satisfaction. The steady paycheck, the title, the respect from others—these external rewards can mask the internal erosion happening when our work conflicts with our authentic selves.
Recognizing the Hidden Costs of Staying
The most insidious aspect of staying in an unsuitable career is how the damage accumulates gradually. Amanda’s experience reveals the full spectrum of costs that extend far beyond professional dissatisfaction.
The physical symptoms manifest first: disrupted sleep, constant anxiety, and what she describes as feeling “sick to my stomach thinking about, oh, I have to go back to work tomorrow.” When work infiltrates your dreams and your nervous system stays perpetually activated, your body is sending clear signals that something needs to change.
But the emotional and relational costs cut deeper. “I felt it when I was with my kids, I felt a lot snappier with them. I just wasn’t showing up how I wanted to show up,” Amanda explains. The person you become at work—frustrated, inauthentic, drained—inevitably bleeds into your personal relationships. Your family doesn’t just lose access to your energy; they experience a diminished version of who you are.
The authenticity gap creates the most profound damage. Amanda identified authenticity as one of her core values, yet her job required her to care about things she genuinely didn’t care about. This daily betrayal of self creates a form of spiritual exhaustion that no amount of vacation time can cure.
Amy Stone’s interview question cuts to the heart of this issue: “There’s probably people listening who wonder why you couldn’t just compartmentalize it and move through it.” Amanda’s honest response reveals an important truth: “I spent so many hours wishing and trying to compartmentalize, and I just, I couldn’t for whatever reason.”
Some people can successfully compartmentalize work that doesn’t fulfill them. Others cannot. Neither approach is inherently right or wrong—but recognizing which type you are is crucial for making career decisions that support your wellbeing.
The Courage to Choose Uncertainty Over Safety
The transition from employee mindset to entrepreneurial thinking requires confronting deep-seated beliefs about security and success. Amanda’s gradual exit—from full-time to part-time to complete departure—reflects the careful way many people approach major life changes.
“I felt a lot of shame and guilt over the fact that I couldn’t—not couldn’t, but that the corporate, you know, box that I felt like I should be in wasn’t working for me,” Amanda admits. This shame often prevents people from making necessary changes, keeping them trapped in situations that slowly erode their wellbeing.
The fear of judgment from others compounds the internal struggle. Amanda suspected that when she announced her departure, there might have been “some bets about how long it took me to go back to my corporate job.” Yet this external skepticism, while uncomfortable, ultimately matters less than the internal knowing that change is necessary.
The most successful career transitions happen when the pain of staying exceeds the fear of leaving. Amanda reached this tipping point when she realized she couldn’t authentically help others find wellness while neglecting her own wellbeing. “How am I supposed to help people be well when I’m not well?” she asked herself.
The practical reality of entrepreneurship brought its own challenges. “My fears were, who is going to pay me to coach them? Are there people that are going to trust me to do this? Am I going to be able to find enough?” But Amanda discovered that these fears, while valid, were manageable compared to the daily drain of staying in work that contradicted her values.
Finding Fulfillment Through Authentic Work
Three and a half years into her coaching business, Amanda has discovered what many career changers eventually learn: the risks of entrepreneurship often prove less dangerous than the certainty of staying in the wrong job.
“Once I started consistently working with clients and felt their change, felt how excited they were when things were working, you know, really saw that and felt the energy from those interactions. That’s when I was all in,” Amanda explains. This experience of witnessing positive impact—something completely absent from her IT career—provided the confirmation she needed.
The transformation extends beyond professional satisfaction to overall life quality. “I don’t get the Sunday scaries anymore. That means a lot to me. I also have control over my schedule now, which is something that’s very important. I can be at my kids’ field trips. I can, you know, pick them up from school if I want to.”
Amy’s perceptive observation highlights a crucial element often missing from unsuitable careers: “You did not get that feeling or experience with the IT clients.” The absence of meaningful connection and visible impact can make even well-paying work feel empty and draining.
Authentic work creates an upward spiral of energy and engagement. Instead of dreading Monday morning, you find yourself energized by the problems you’re solving and the people you’re serving. This shift from energy drain to energy gain transforms not just your work life but your entire existence.
The Real Risk Is Staying Safe
Amanda’s story challenges our conventional understanding of career risk. While leaving a stable corporate job appears risky, her experience reveals that staying in unsuitable work carries its own significant risks—to health, relationships, and long-term wellbeing.
The key insight isn’t that everyone should abandon corporate careers for entrepreneurship. Rather, it’s that we must honestly assess whether our pursuit of external security is costing us internal peace. Some people thrive in corporate environments that would drain others. The crucial skill is developing enough self-awareness to recognize what works for you, regardless of what others expect or recommend.
Amanda’s journey also demonstrates that major life changes don’t require dramatic, all-or-nothing decisions. Her graduated approach—certification, part-time work, then full transition—shows how we can test new directions while maintaining some stability.
The most powerful element of her transformation is how it aligned her work with her values. Her business now focuses on helping “professional women who are feeling overwhelmed, burnt out, tired of doing all of the things to slow down and find sustainable ways that they can take care of themselves every single day.” This isn’t just career change—it’s purpose alignment.
For anyone experiencing their own version of the Sunday scaries, Amanda’s story offers both permission and practical guidance. The permission: it’s okay to prioritize your wellbeing over external expectations of what constitutes a “good job.” The guidance: change is possible, but it requires honest self-assessment, gradual transition, and the courage to choose authenticity over safety.
Sometimes the most dangerous thing you can do is play it safe—especially when that safety is slowly killing your spirit. The real risk isn’t in leaving a job that drains you; it’s in staying so long that you forget who you were before it changed you.
This article was inspired by a thought-provoking interview with Amanda Bearce and Amy Stone on The Art of Imperfect Adulting podcast. To hear more compelling conversations like this one and receive special offers from our guests directly to your inbox, join our email community today.
Interview Transcript Amanda Bearce with Amy Stone | The Art of Imperfect Adulting | July 19, 2025
Amy Stone [00:00:04]:
Amanda Bearce. Welcome to the art of imperfect adulting. I’m happy you’re here. Are you ready for a fun chat?
Amanda Bearce [00:00:11]:
I am ready and I’m so happy to be here.
Amy Stone [00:00:13]:
That is great. All right, so I start all of my interviews and all my conversations with the same beginner question, which is, what part of the world do you call home these days?
Amanda Bearce [00:00:22]:
Albuquerque, New Mexico.
Amy Stone [00:00:24]:
Oh, I love it. Last time I was in Albuquerque was during lockdown.
Amanda Bearce [00:00:28]:
Oh, fun.
Amy Stone [00:00:29]:
Yeah, it was. Yes. It was a summer road trip with the family because everything was closed and we did this big trip. It was great. It was great. I need to go back when everything is open and not locked down.
Amanda Bearce [00:00:44]:
A lot of the best things are outside anyway, so that helps. In Albuquerque, Same.
Amy Stone [00:00:50]:
I’m in Florida. Very similar. So much of our stuff is outside and also we build everything inside out. Probably similar to Albuquerque. We have a lot of outdoor hallways, so made it a little easier in that one period of life. So very good. In a second, we’re going to talk about the official interview, which is not about weather and hallways. But I want to ask one more warm up question, which is can you share with us, with me and the audience something you do to take care of yourself that you or somebody else might consider self care?
Amanda Bearce [00:01:19]:
Yes, absolutely. This is my favorite topic. One thing that I do that’s a big part of my self care routine is prioritizing time alone. It’s something that I need that my family does not. Not so they could go attached to my hip all day every day. But that is not something that works for me. So I have to make sure to block off time where I can just be alone with my own thoughts without other people’s sounds and, you know, anybody poking me, asking me questions. And that is something that is crucial to my well being.
Amy Stone [00:01:54]:
Very good. Do you have little people in your family?
Amanda Bearce [00:01:56]:
Not so little anymore. 10 and 13.
Amy Stone [00:01:59]:
Okay.
Amanda Bearce [00:02:00]:
But they like to play games and.
Amy Stone [00:02:02]:
Sure.
Amanda Bearce [00:02:02]:
Ask questions. Questions and tell stories and all of the things.
Amy Stone [00:02:07]:
Yep. Now I should. And I should have actually used the word young, young people. But yeah, there is. You know, small humans are very high touch and high contact for a long time. Yes, A long time. It can be overwhelming. So the topic of the day, not young humans, actually. But what we’re going to talk about is how you decided to leave what you call a safe in quotation marks. Safe corporate job that you describe as draining the life out of you. Are you ready to talk about that today?
Amanda Bearce [00:02:36]:
I’m ready.
Amy Stone [00:02:37]:
All right, let’s do it. So let’s start with this. Can you tell us a little bit about what the job was? You don’t have to give us like private details or throw anybody under the bus, but tell us a little bit about what the job or the career was.
Amanda Bearce [00:02:49]:
So the job was it. I was kind of a middleman between clients and technical resources, kind of speaking both of the languages. I was in a position that was very reactive. So we were monitoring other people’s networks. If there were issues, it was, you know, I was on the phone, we were, I was constantly had to be watching my email, watching my phone calls in case if something went down, I had to respond so quickly for all of the things. Because everybody’s network is what keeps their business up and making money. So we know that that’s very important.
Amy Stone [00:03:25]:
Yeah. All right, so very good. So it real time support working for clients. When the clients say jump, you say how high? And so how long had you been in this career, this sort of field?
Amanda Bearce [00:03:39]:
I had been in that sort of field about eight years.
Amy Stone [00:03:42]:
Pretty long time. Yes, pretty long time. And so how did you find your way to that job? Was this something that you studied in school? Was it something that you intentionally mapped out that you either fell in love with at some point or you read a brochure or you saw a sign on a wall that said come do this. Like how did you find your way to that?
Amanda Bearce [00:04:04]:
I always say that I think, you know, back in the day when there used to be physical catalogs, that I must have just been like flipping through it and I was like, oh, I’ll do that. Because I have no idea why I decided to work in it. I think I was not sure what I wanted to do and just figured I had to do something and, and went to school in it. Now that I’m a more self aware human being, I think I would have realized right away that it was not the choice for me. But you know, 18, 19 year old me was chugging along thinking this was what we had to do.
Amy Stone [00:04:39]:
You know, that’s a very valid description of the process we go through. So like some people, I’ve got four kids, two step kids and two kids and the youngest is a high school senior going to college next year. So it is. And then I had my own experience. Right. Some people know from when they are little tiny munchkins what they want to do. Yep. Be an artist, they want to be a fashion model, they want to be a surgeon, they want to go to Mars. You know, they know, right.
Amanda Bearce [00:05:06]:
I’ve always been envious of that, right?
Amy Stone [00:05:09]:
Yes. And other people don’t know. And then you do. Like, not even so now it’s online, but it’s still the same kind of thing. You hit a point where they’re like, what are you going to do while you’re here? What are you going to study? What job are you training for? And so there definitely is the potential to select something that is a choice that, you know, you don’t know enough about to make a good choice. And I think that we put a lot of pressure. This is a situation I cannot solve for the world. So I’m merely. This is a terrible thing to do. Point out a problem with no solutions. But I think we put a lot of pressure on people to make what feels like a permanent choice decision at that point, which doesn’t feel good. And then I think if you fast forward 10 or 15 years, there’s many, many people that are like, oh, wow, would have done that differently.
Amanda Bearce [00:06:01]:
Yep, exactly. How did I get here? What made me choose that?
Amy Stone [00:06:05]:
Yeah, absolutely. And some of those are more dramatic than others.
Amanda Bearce [00:06:09]:
Oh, yeah.
Amy Stone [00:06:10]:
All right. So when one of my kids was little, she did this thing, really little teacher did a thing where she made a prediction for what all the kids in her graduating preschool group would be when they grew up. It was adorable. It was absolutely adorable. I remember nobody’s. Except for my own kids, of course, but it was super hilarious. What did you. What, if anything, did you think you were going to be if we had. If I had run into you when you were like 8, 9, 10, and said, hey, what do you want to be when you grow up? What would you have said?
Amanda Bearce [00:06:40]:
Probably something like a firefighter or something like that. Straight up tomboy. That was my way of thinking, which might have been a better fit. Not real great at sitting still behind a desk. So why I thought that a job where I could. Had to sit still behind a desk every day, was it for me, again, questionable.
Amy Stone [00:06:59]:
All right, so. And why is security and safety like a driver in choosing, like a first job out of school? Like, were you. Was it appealing? Did it seem like a good thing that, like, this is a stable job, it’s respected?
Amanda Bearce [00:07:10]:
Yes. I kind of vaguely remember, no offense, Mom. A little nudge from my mom saying, you know, these people at my work are making a lot of money and they’re really in high demand. And then it was like, okay, well.
Amy Stone [00:07:22]:
Yeah, here we go. I can remember the time when it. And network security. I mean, maybe that’s still true. Like, it’s still. It’s a. It is a very popular job with a lot of demand, but those things. Things can change pretty rapid when you’re not paying attention and can’t be caught off guard. All right, so we already know, because that was the hook at the front. We know that you left the job, but before we talk about leaving the job, I want to back up and just kind of paint the scenario. Was there anything that you did like about this study path, this career, the daily grind of the job? Were there things that you did enjoy and didn’t like about it?
Amanda Bearce [00:08:04]:
I think the biggest thing that I liked was a steady paycheck. I liked that very much. I can’t say there was a lot that I loved about the job. You know, I had some great coworkers, but I also had some not great coworkers. So there was a balance there, but really not a lot that I loved. I mean, I did work for a great company that treated their employees very well at the end. It took a while to get there. There was one that was really rough before that, that probably even put a really bad taste in my mouth around the whole situation, but not a lot that I loved. I’m not going to lie.
Amy Stone [00:08:41]:
Right. And that’s it. I mean, working for a paycheck, there’s nothing wrong with that, right? We got nothing wrong with that. Yes. And there are probably a lot of people who do something that they’re okay with, but, I mean, there are definitely people who are advisors and put themselves in and put the expert hat on. And they even say they, like, you know, don’t feel like you need to chase your passion. You know, it’s okay to do something that you’re just, you know, you’re good at and that pays well, and then your passion might be crappy. I’m not saying that that’s the way to go. I just want to say if there’s anybody out there that’s like, hey, I work for a paycheck, you know, that’s fine.
Amanda Bearce [00:09:16]:
Oh, absolutely. If it was. If I was okay with it, then it would have been a different story.
Amy Stone [00:09:22]:
Right. And community at work, coworkers. That’s important, for sure. It’s not the only thing. Absolutely. And working for a good company, so those are good things. What about studying it? When you were studying and learning to do it, did you like what you were learning and what you were practicing or even then were you like, whatever.
Amanda Bearce [00:09:37]:
Yeah, whatever.
Amy Stone [00:09:39]:
And was there any kind of niggle while you were doing that? It was like, I don’t maybe love this.
Amanda Bearce [00:09:45]:
I think there was, but I was, I had already taken a while. I wasn’t real focused. So I was, you know, sometimes not taking as many classes as I should. So I, I got to the point where I was like, we’ve got to just, we’ve got to go. We can’t change our minds anymore.
Amy Stone [00:10:02]:
Like, I’ve got to take control of this situation. I’m in charge. I’m getting this degree. All right, so finishing that. All right, so the, so it give. Gave you a lifestyle through the paycheck that you appreciated and so that’s definitely worth it. Okay. So you say that this job was draining the life out of you and I would love for you to say more about that. Like, what was going on? How were you feeling? How did that show up in your day to day life?
Amanda Bearce [00:10:28]:
Yeah, so we have already established that I didn’t like it. So when I was on calls with clients all day, mostly every day, I felt like I could not be authentic because my clients can’t know that I don’t like what I’m doing, that I really don’t care whether their network is up or not. So I just felt like I had to fake it all day, every day. And that felt gross to me. Now I realize that authenticity is one of my most important values. So it makes a lot of sense. But at the time I just, every day, at the end of the day was, would think to myself, I’ve got to figure out what I want to do because this isn’t it. And I also learned that a job in a where a lot of emergencies happen was not really a great place for my nervous system. I was very anxious all of the time. Sunday afternoon would roll around and I would kind of feel sick to my stomach thinking about, oh, I have to go back to work tomorrow. My husband had a plethora of time off and since I had switched companies a couple years before, I had very, very little compared to him. And we like to travel and adventure together. So that was another thing that was really hard for me. But I just, it really just drained me. And I felt it when I was with my kids, I felt a lot snappier with them. I just wasn’t showing up how I wanted to show up. It didn’t feel good.
Amy Stone [00:11:59]:
So, yeah, that sounds like there’s a lot going on there. So the Sunday scaries, which is what we call it when the reality of going into the office makes you not feel good. Some people lose sleep. It’s a pretty common sign of dissatisfaction with something going on in your work.
Amanda Bearce [00:12:17]:
Absolutely.
Amy Stone [00:12:20]:
And also, it sounds like you were aware that. I mean, I think it’s very interesting that you were like, I just actually don’t care about this. These people in their network. Yeah.
Amanda Bearce [00:12:28]:
Which is not a good thing. I want to do something where I care. I, you know, I just, I couldn’t make myself do it. And I would, I would have conversations with my husband all the time and he would, I would say, it doesn’t make you, you know, sitting on those meetings all day doesn’t make you want to stab yourself in the eye with a pencil. And he would look at me like, no, like, okay, well then I’ve got a problem. Something’s not right because it literally feels like pain when I’m. I just can’t. I cannot do this. And I so wished that I could. I felt like it would be so much easier if I did, like, what I was doing. If it was a good for me, good fit for me, because like I said, it was a safe job. I made great money. It was something that I could have continued doing through retirement, but I just, it was not good for my quality of life. It was not good for my kids quality of life. It was, it was just not it.
Amy Stone [00:13:24]:
There’s probably people listening who wonder why you couldn’t just compartmentalize it and move through it. Not me. I’m not wondering that, but I think it’s worth throwing that out there because, you know, it’s not like you are. You don’t present as if you are like a mean person. You’ve actually gone on to go into another business that works with clients and, you know, involves empathy and things. What do you think the, what do you think the difference was? Because you mentioned before that you understood and you’ve, you know, it’s very important, these outages for people, and that was highly critical. Do you have any sense of why there was a disconnect where you’re like, no, I don’t. This is not important to me.
Amanda Bearce [00:14:06]:
I really don’t know. I think there was just so many different layers of things that I was dissatisfied with that I just couldn’t get there. And I spent so many hours wishing and trying to compartmentalize, and I just, I couldn’t for whatever reason.
Amy Stone [00:14:24]:
And so it bled over into your interactions with your family and your happiness outside of work. Yeah.
Amanda Bearce [00:14:31]:
And really my overall well being, I wasn’t sleeping well. I mean, I was never a great sleeper until, you know, maybe five years ago. But I would dream about work. I would all of it was just, I couldn’t, I felt like I couldn’t get away from it.
Amy Stone [00:14:45]:
What are some of the other, like before you took this job, like when you were a kid, did you have like, what are some of the other like starter jobs that you had?
Amanda Bearce [00:14:52]:
I worked at Dairy Queen was my first job.
Amy Stone [00:14:55]:
Okay.
Amanda Bearce [00:14:56]:
And then I also.
Amy Stone [00:14:57]:
What a great job also, by the way, to work in a place where you can make your own peanut buster parfait.
Amanda Bearce [00:15:03]:
Absolutely.
Amy Stone [00:15:04]:
And yes, instant access to the little dip. Okay.
Amanda Bearce [00:15:10]:
And anytime that I’m anywhere that has a self serve ice cream machine, I still make it the same way Dairy Queen does with the little loop on top.
Amy Stone [00:15:18]:
I love that so much. We did Dairy Queen. Probably not everybody has Dairy Queen in their family, but we were, we were tried and true Dairy Queen family in my house. It’s like if, it’s like every once in a while we’re like, we’ll go. We have a drive through Dairy Queen nearby us and they even have a happy hour. So which is so funny. You can go and get like, I’m gonna mess up all of the prices and things like that, but you can get like a cone for like 79 cents if you come like before between like 2 and 4 or whatever. It’s. Yeah, it’s really, really, it’s really, really great. So. All right, so I totally hijacked that conversation. But that is a service job. Right? So client base and service job. But okay, so what other jobs did you have?
Amanda Bearce [00:16:02]:
I also worked at a pizza place, so another very similar. And then in a call center. And that was really it before I got into it. I did take a it break.
Amy Stone [00:16:12]:
Half.
Amanda Bearce [00:16:12]:
Ish way through and worked for a real estate team for a while. None of the. Well, I would say that I liked the jobs, actually the fast food type jobs, fat more than I did the other others. And I think it’s because of the not sitting still behind a desk all day vibe.
Amy Stone [00:16:32]:
Okay.
Amanda Bearce [00:16:32]:
That’s, that’s a struggle for me.
Amy Stone [00:16:34]:
Okay. So that’s a struggle. So the call center would have been a struggle. But working face to face and talking to people in food service, which is also very high demand and can be very, you know, it’s very forward facing. I was, I’m one of those people that I think that everybody should spend some time working in a restaurant with people because you very quickly get very thick skinned. One of the jobs I had as a kid in food service, I didn’t actually do this. I just had to deal with the consequence. But they were moving a chair through like a group of people and clocked somebody over the head with like, just sort of tagged the top of somebody’s head with the. Oh, no, it was, it was, it was horrible. So horrible. But, you know, if you, when you live through those things, it’s very quickly, you’re like, all right, life will. Life goes on. Even does, you know. Exactly. So, all right, so it’s a very specific sort of scenario where you’re like, wow, this is not bringing me life. This is not bringing me joy. All right, so I do talk to you. I’m lucky enough I get to talk to all kinds of people about career changes in different ways. They happen in a million different ways. Companies will close, they’ll be downsizing. You know, sometimes people storm in and quit in a blaze of emotion. If you’re comfortable sharing this part of the story with us, was this your choice of a departure and like, tell us a little bit about how you, how you left.
Amanda Bearce [00:17:59]:
Yes, it was my choice. I was starting to study to become or I was certified as a health and wellness coach and I was studying for my board exam to be a national board certified health and wellness coach and juggling the two. And as I was doing that, I realized, how am I supposed to help people be well when I’m not well? Realistically, I can’t have a full time job plus do this certification plus work with coaching new clients and try to build a business while also spending enough time with my kids and giving my family the attention that they deserved. And it, it took me a while. My husband kind of kept mentioning, you know, whenever you want to leave, we’re ready. But I felt a lot of shame and guilt over the fact that I couldn’t not couldn’t, but that the corporate, you know, box that I felt like I should be in wasn’t working for me.
Amy Stone [00:18:53]:
Okay.
Amanda Bearce [00:18:53]:
And so after a couple months of doing both, I went down to part time and then probably a couple months later was realized it’s just time.
Amy Stone [00:19:05]:
Okay. So you structured it and you phased yourself out from full time to part time to not working for them. So let’s pick on that little scab about like what your mindset was here about holding onto the job. So you highlighted that. It sounds like to me, you were saying, and you can let me know if I’m on the right track or not, that you had a sense of that you should, you were expected to stay in a job where you an employee working for somebody else.
Amanda Bearce [00:19:33]:
Yes, very much so. That’s probably the hardest part for me for a while.
Amy Stone [00:19:39]:
Okay. And so that. There’s a lot of things with that. Do you have any. Is there anybody in your family that you know who is like an entrepreneur or a freelancer? Did you have any exposure to that growing up?
Amanda Bearce [00:19:47]:
No.
Amy Stone [00:19:48]:
So you didn’t have anybody modeling, working for themselves? And so that leads to the idea that you go out and you get a job or for somebody else. It’s pretty common mindset struggle for people who are starting their own thing if they have an employee mindset, converting to. I don’t have to be an employee mindset. Yeah, that can be a big thing. What. What else was going on in your mind when you were thinking about making this change? What were your hopes and what were your fears?
Amanda Bearce [00:20:14]:
My hopes were that I could grow a sustainable coaching business. My fears were, who is going to pay me to coach them? Are there people that are going to trust me to do this? Am I going to be able to find enough? How do I do it? There was a lot of fear.
Amy Stone [00:20:34]:
A lot of fear.
Amanda Bearce [00:20:35]:
A lot of fear. And at first, I think I even was afraid to hope for much because I didn’t want to get my hopes up and then not be successful.
Amy Stone [00:20:45]:
Do you know people who have started freelance gigs or side gigs and side hustles who have experienced failure? And did you have an actual example of somebody having that happen to them, or was it just a fear just out of just the unknown?
Amanda Bearce [00:21:00]:
Just the unknown.
Amy Stone [00:21:02]:
Yeah.
Amanda Bearce [00:21:03]:
Now, I have seen that. But at the time, no, I didn’t really know anybody who had gone out on their own at all.
Amy Stone [00:21:11]:
But now this was all new. This was all new. All right, so if it was all new and you didn’t have any examples, where did the thought come from? Like, this is where I should go. What I should do is do my own thing. Where did that come from if there was no example?
Amanda Bearce [00:21:25]:
So at first, I was getting the certifications with the intent to work for a company.
Amy Stone [00:21:31]:
Okay.
Amanda Bearce [00:21:32]:
And then as I started looking for jobs, I realized that I wouldn’t be able to help people in the way that I wanted to help them. Working for somebody else. They very. A lot of them have, like, specific structures where you can coach on these specific things in this specific way. And I didn’t like that idea. I wanted to be able to help people in the way that I wanted to. And when I was getting my board certification, it required coaching hours. So I established a business so that I could at least get paid while I was getting my coaching hours and then just kind of Went from there. I, I gave myself a little test window. You know, I’ll try it on my own for six months and then see what happens. And here we are almost three and a half years later.
Amy Stone [00:22:15]:
Okay, so that was one of the questions I was going to ask was about the timeline. So you’ve been doing this for three and a half years. All right, so what was the, like, let’s talk about health and wellness in you as a person. Like, not the job, not anything. But before, like as a kid and when you were in college, just in your life as a wife, a mom, a woman, a human being, what is your own personal relationship and attraction to concepts of health and wellness? Because it’s like not built in to it.
Amanda Bearce [00:22:46]:
No, as a kid, I was pretty healthy, very active, always had a well balanced diet. I mean, as you know, with the exception of chicken nuggets every now and then, whenever I could talk my mom into it as a young adult, I fell off of that and kind of had a chunk where I wasn’t moving my body, wasn’t eating well. And then when my daughter was born, she’s 13, I had a kind of light bulb moment of I don’t want her to grow up with this version of me. I want to go back to that version of me who was moving my body all the time and felt good in my skin and all of that. And that stemmed the beginning of my health and wellness journey. And now I think of wellness very differently. At the beginning, I thought of it only as the way we feed ourselves and the way we exercise. And now I know that there’s so much, much more than that. And I really incorporate that in my business of how can we truly take care of ourselves. Those areas are, of course, very important, but there’s so much more. The way we sleep, are we checking in with ourselves? What are some small, easy ways that we can take care of ourselves throughout our workday? Just so much more than those big pieces that we see and hear about all the time. But there’s all of these little things that are so important as well.
Amy Stone [00:24:14]:
Yeah, no, that’s a really. So there’s a couple things that you brought up that I’ll touch on. One is, I think it’s really interesting. There’s a saying in the coaching, mentorship self help world, which is like, you know, a lot of us are our own first client. Like, we start with our personal experience, right? That’s what drives us into at least, you know, the training. And then maybe we go on and make it a Business sounds like that’s true for you, that this was, you were drawn to it because you were curious about it for yourself and going from there. Then the other thing is that it’s really interesting when it comes to, and I’ll use the word health and not wellness when I talk about this, health often gets mixed up with size and weight, specifically for women. And that’s a really nuanced and varied conversation. But one of the things that I think probably does hold some weight is that people tend to sometimes start the process of transformation with what they’re unhappy about something they know they don’t like. And so as a starting point, it’s not necessarily the worst place to start when you’re like, I’m unhappy with how my body feels in my clothes, I’m unhappy with how my body feels in how I’m moving through the day. And often the only framework we have for that is the scale.
Amanda Bearce [00:25:31]:
Yeah, yeah, yep.
Amy Stone [00:25:33]:
Yeah.
Amanda Bearce [00:25:35]:
Yes, that’s a, that’s a tricky one. I, I don’t love the obsession with the scale. I don’t love that everything is based, everything that we see on social media is all about the scale, all about your protein. Of course these things are so important, but we can also wreck our overall well being by being hyper focused on these specific things which we can’t always control. And you know, the scale does not tell the whole story.
Amy Stone [00:26:05]:
Even my multifunction scale that wants to tell me all the data points, it probably doesn’t have all the details. So I’m 51. And when you turn 50, social media figures out that you’re 50 and it tells you like every third piece of information is like, you should be eating 100 grams of protein a day and drinking a gallon of water. And I’m like, hey, did I become a fitness model when I like, not fitness model in terms of like fashion model, but like physique. Did I step into that world when I wasn’t paying attention? I’m not sure that every 50 year old needs to be eating a hundred grams of protein. Maybe. I don’t know, like, I’m just like, wow, that is, that is a really, really specific data point.
Amanda Bearce [00:26:43]:
Yeah. And it’s tricky because.
Amy Stone [00:26:44]:
Oh, sorry, yeah, no, go on, go on.
Amanda Bearce [00:26:46]:
Oh, I was just gonna say it’s tricky because, you know, I’ve through this journey had a lot of different things that I’ve tried and experimented with and you know, done the macro counting and all of these things. And when I was in, the smallest version of me was definitely not when I was the happiest or the most. Well, I was, you know, going to a birthday party and then feeling guilty that I ate a piece of pizza and shared a cupcake with my kid. I was thinking about what I could eat tomorrow so that I didn’t ruin things over the week. It was. There was a constant thought process of that. And then, you know, when weight fluctuated, which it does especially for women there, I would be upset with myself or mad with myself. And now I, you know, eat to nourish myself. You know, eat to in way that feels good without overly restricting. And, you know, I’ve gained a little bit of weight in that process, but I feel overall so much more well, so that’s a hard one for me. Is that obsession with the scale, because it’s not the. It’s not magically going to make you happy.
Amy Stone [00:27:50]:
It may not magically make you happy. And which is not to say that people shouldn’t push for a physique that they find beautiful or that they enjoy because. And, but at the same time, the other thing that you hit on there, that is a. Is an unknown known, but we tend to ignore it, is that thin is not the same as healthy.
Amanda Bearce [00:28:09]:
Right.
Amy Stone [00:28:10]:
And. Or small. Let’s say small is not the same as healthy. It can be other things. And correspondingly, there’s some, you know, there’s size. Size is not the, you know, the end indicator for a lot of things, which is simultaneously true with. Sometimes size is an indicator of things that are not good. Right. Like, so they go together. It’s not an absolute data point. So, all right, so three and a half years ago, you start making this change. You start by pursuing a training certification and learning all about the things. You’re on your own journey. You start working with clients. What did people in your life, going back to when you were working in it, and you’re beginning to think about, I’m gonna get training for health and wellness. What did people in your life think about this decision? Like, when did you tell them? And when you told them, how did they react?
Amanda Bearce [00:28:59]:
I told them as I started my first certification, which was just like a little baby certification. And I think they all looked at me a little bit like I was crazy, even though they knew that health and wellness was something that was very important to me. And then when I decided to leave my corporate job, I think there was a lot of shock. Not nobody really said anything up front to me about it, but I would not be surprised if between them and their spouses, if there was a Lot of, oh my gosh, what is she doing? Well, or maybe even some bets about how long it took me to go back to my corporate job.
Amy Stone [00:29:34]:
Fair enough, fair enough. So did you feel pressure from, did you feel pressured to make it work and not go back?
Amanda Bearce [00:29:42]:
Yes, but I don’t know that it was more internal pressure because I knew what it felt like to go back or to be there and I didn’t want to go back to that.
Amy Stone [00:29:52]:
Yeah. Many, many years ago when I was in my 20s, I was working in an office and we were going through. The company was going through a stressful time and we were just like living through it as one does when you’re an employee. And I remember one of my co workers came into work and he’s like, I had a dream that I had to go back to the retail job I had before I got there. And it’s just, you know, when you have a job, retail’s tough. Retail stuff, especially the holidays and things like that. And there are people who love retail and it’s a great job, but it can be tough. And I still remember this person was like, I had a dream that this fell apart and I had to go back to where this is. How long ago this was. It was a video store. I had to go back to retail and video rental store. So anyway. All right, so you, you shared with us that you, you phased out of the job that you had very slowly. But talk to us about how you felt emotionally. Were you all in on the idea of health and wellness coaching? Like, when did that happen? When did you become more and more confident and aware that this was something that meant enough to you that you wanted to make this full time?
Amanda Bearce [00:30:56]:
Once I started consistently working with clients and I felt their, their change, felt how excited they were when things were working, you know, really saw that and felt the energy from those interactions. That’s when I was all in. That is very rewarding to me.
Amy Stone [00:31:16]:
So now that is really interesting. So you did not feel that. That’s like a closing of a loop. That’s like you’re part, you’re co creating something with the journey and then you’re experiencing it with the client on the other side. You did not get that feeling or experience with the IT clients that, you.
Amanda Bearce [00:31:33]:
Know, I wish I did, but.
Amy Stone [00:31:36]:
No, but you might have when you were working in a restaurant because like you serve the, you serve the meal, you’re there, you see them enjoy it or hate it or whatever, but it closes. That’s an interesting thing. Just a food for thought that, that might have been one of the things that was driving you Bazonkers.
Amanda Bearce [00:31:50]:
Yeah.
Amy Stone [00:31:50]:
So. All right, so, so, and then what this, Was this a linear path? Was it off to the races the minute you started everything, you know, clients were knocking at the door, Success, success, success. Or were there challenges and reservations as you leaned more into working into yourself?
Amanda Bearce [00:32:08]:
It, you know, I started off pretty strong, but my first year was still nerve wracking for me because I didn’t know the seasons, how, you know what. There naturally are months that are slower for this sort of thing. So the first year it was kind of like, oh my gosh, I had clients and now I’m slow. Are they ever going to come back? Is this ever, Is this going to work? Now that I’ve seen three full years, I naturally know, hey, December is going to be slow. Let’s take some courses during that. Let’s use that time to plan ahead on my email newsletter, whatever that looks like. But at first it was, that was scary for me seeing that it wasn’t a consistent thing. And I mean, still, that’s something that’s tricky for me is I’ll see one month is high and then the next month is a little bit lower. But I, you know, have to go back and remind myself this is just part of the process. I can look at this for all of the years and it’s, it just happens.
Amy Stone [00:33:08]:
Okay, so then that, I think that’s really interesting because you described the job that you left as being very safe. And then this is giving the first year that you were in business for yourself. It felt there were moments where it maybe didn’t feel safe. Tell us a little bit more. You told us that you, one of the things you did was you reminded yourself that this was part of the process. But how did you move through the fear?
Amanda Bearce [00:33:30]:
Not as gracefully as I would have hoped. At first. It has gotten better. This last December, I was okay, even though I, I mean, I knew at that point, but I was nervous. I think I, I had a lot of second thoughts. Wondered if it was just, you know, beginning opening business that people were excited about, but that was going to be it for me. But just knowing that it was something that I enjoy doing, you know, I don’t get the Sunday scaries anymore. That means a lot to me. I also have control over my schedule now, which is something that’s very important. I can be at my kids field trips. I can, you know, pick them up from school if I want to. All of those things are worth so much to me. And the work is so fulfilling. So it was, I think, just the. The enjoyment and how much I really like this and the quality of life changes for me, that really kept me on the same track.
Amy Stone [00:34:32]:
All right, that’s a beautiful answer. I really appreciate it. Okay, so today you are a health and wellness coach, as we said. Right? You struck out. You went into business for yourself. Yay. All right, so. So. So talk to us about, like, what we’re going to. In a minute, we’re going to do the final questions. And so tell us specifically what you do, how you help people specifically, and how you want people to reach out to you after the episode, how they can find you and connect with you.
Amanda Bearce [00:35:00]:
All right, so I help professional women who are feeling overwhelmed, burnt out, tired of doing all of the things to slow down and find sustainable ways that they can take care of themselves every single day.
Amy Stone [00:35:17]:
All right, very good. And so you have a special offer that you’ve made available for our audience, which is really great, and I want to thank you for this. You call this the stress reset, finding balance and self care. Oh, you know what? I ask everybody about self care, but I didn’t notice until right now. I just as I’m reading this that you actually talk about self care. That’s great. Okay, so that was a good question for you. So you are offering 25% off of a session. If you want to do that, there is a link in the show notes and that goes anywhere you’re listening to the podcast. It’s on YouTube. The easiest way for the audience to get to the link is to be subscribed to the imperfect adulting email list. Because then I send it direct to your email box and you just click on it. So if you are like so many people, you’re reading, listening to this podcast in the car, on the train, on the treadmill. No worries. Subscribe. We send it to you. Easy peasy. Thank you very much, Amanda, for that very generous offer. Tell us what. So your website is simplywellnesscoach.com?
Amanda Bearce [00:36:11]:
Yep. And the best way to find me is through my website and signing up for my newsletter.
Amy Stone [00:36:16]:
Okay.
Amanda Bearce [00:36:17]:
Once a week. Short but actionable. Nice little. Kind of like a little love letter. Some take some time for yourself and that’s the best way.
Amy Stone [00:36:24]:
Love note from Amanda in your email box. All right, very good. All right, Amanda, are you ready for the final three questions?
Amanda Bearce [00:36:30]:
I’m ready.
Amy Stone [00:36:31]:
All right. Don’t be nervous. I don’t know if anybody’s nervous about these, but in the beginning, before we had a Bunch of them as examples. Maybe people were, but I don’t think anybody is anymore. Okay, so here we go. So are you a risk taker? And what I mean is, if there was a scale where 1 is very, very little risk and 10 is show me the way to the base jumping, where would you rank yourself?
Amanda Bearce [00:36:52]:
Three and a half. Not a big risk taker. Which is probably one of the reasons leaving my corporate job was so hard.
Amy Stone [00:36:59]:
Yeah, it tracks. The dots are lining up.
Amanda Bearce [00:37:02]:
They are.
Amy Stone [00:37:04]:
All right, so now do you cook? And if so, do you have a favorite kitchen gadget?
Amanda Bearce [00:37:11]:
Ooh, I only cook when my husband’s out of town, which is this weekend.
Amy Stone [00:37:17]:
All right.
Amanda Bearce [00:37:18]:
I don’t think I have a favorite kitchen gadget. Do it. I could make one up. KitchenAid mixer.
Amy Stone [00:37:23]:
Kitchen. That’s a good one.
Amanda Bearce [00:37:25]:
You know, this is not actually cooking, but we throw some vanilla ice cream and some double stuffed Oreos in there and make, like, an at home McFlurry. That’s. That’s what made me say the KitchenAid mixer.
Amy Stone [00:37:38]:
And you do that in the KitchenAid mixer. I would do that. I would totally do that in a blender.
Amanda Bearce [00:37:42]:
We do it in the KitchenAid mixer with the paddle attachment.
Amy Stone [00:37:45]:
Yeah. And that’s that. Well, maybe that one’s better.
Amanda Bearce [00:37:47]:
It’s delicious. My daughter has a gluten allergy, so she can’t get them out anywhere, so we decided to try it at home one day. It’s delicious.
Amy Stone [00:37:54]:
That’s. I did an interview recently about food allergies because we have a food allergy. As soon as you have one, there are. You begin. You’re like. You’re like, well, we’re gonna make this at home so that you can. So that you can try it and we don’t have to worry about it, because worrying about the food allergy in a restaurant is very exhausting, especially when.
Amanda Bearce [00:38:10]:
It’S a kid and you want them to have all the fun things that everybody else wants to have. Got to make it happen.
Amy Stone [00:38:15]:
Yeah, it’s exhausting. Exhausting is the right word for it because it’s. It’s omnipresent in your mind, like so. Exactly. So if I got into your car today, if you and I got into the car today to go, like, on an errand, what would your stereo be set to? Is it on the radio? Satellite radio? Phone with audiobook. Kid music. What’s happening in your car when we get in?
Amanda Bearce [00:38:38]:
It would be a podcast.
Amy Stone [00:38:40]:
A podcast.
Amanda Bearce [00:38:41]:
Yep. And they range from things like this.
Amy Stone [00:38:45]:
Yeah.
Amanda Bearce [00:38:45]:
All to murder. There’s really actually I shouldn’t say they range from that. There’s really no in between. It’s either something like growth, personal development, or murder. And there’s not really in between. I’m working on it. I’m working on that.
Amy Stone [00:38:58]:
Because there’s true crime and self help.
Amanda Bearce [00:39:02]:
Yep.
Amy Stone [00:39:03]:
You know, I think those. Okay, so I do think. I think if you look at the categories of popular podcasts, like, and talk radio, like, sports is the. The actual, like, first category that wins in talk radio. But then I think that true crime and self development are the next two. So, like, it’s not that that’s the craziest thing, but when you put them side by side, serial murder, and, you know, be a better person. That’s hilarious.
Amanda Bearce [00:39:28]:
Yep. I get enough. I’m like, okay, I’ve had enough of trying to grow myself Today we gotta go listen to some serial killer stories.
Amy Stone [00:39:36]:
I love that. That’s a wonderful answer. That’s it. Amanda, Bearce, thank you so much for being a wonderful guest today on the show.
Amanda Bearce [00:39:43]:
Thank you for having me. It was a blast.