Gaming and Self-Transformation: A Powerful Journey Inside the Digital World

Amy Stone [00:00:03]:
Megan Dirks. Welcome to Imperfect Adulting.

Megan Dirks [00:00:07]:
Thank you so much for having me today, Amy. I’m really excited to be here.

Amy Stone [00:00:10]:
Oh, yay. All right, so are you ready for a fun chat?

Megan Dirks [00:00:14]:
I’m very ready for a fun chat this week.

Amy Stone [00:00:16]:
That’s very good. Okay, so I begin almost every interview by asking people what part of the world they call home. So what part of the world do you call home these days?

Megan Dirks [00:00:25]:
Even though I’m not currently there, Nova Scotia on the east coast of Canada is my home.

Amy Stone [00:00:30]:
Oh, wow. So it looks like. So I can see you. People who are listening to the audio will not do this, but it looks like it’s dark where you are. Is it dark where you are?

Megan Dirks [00:00:37]:
It is. It’s evening here for me. Yeah.

Amy Stone [00:00:39]:
Okay. All right. It’s. It’s bright and sunny where I am. So there’s a difference. We have totally different environments at the moment. Okay. So I’d love to talk to people about the choices and the changes that we. We make as adults and how that changes the paths of our lives. You gave me four, like, sort of bits of information in the intake form for this interview, so I’m going to unpack each of those. The first is that you describe your current lifestyle as deeply rewarding. And I think that’s amazing. And I just want to jump into the deep end of the interview and sort of set the stage and ask you to describe a little bit about what life is like for you these days that you describe as deeply rewarding.

Megan Dirks [00:01:24]:
Yeah. So I think early on, just in a nutshell, life was very scarcity driven and I was scrambling, doing a lot of things, but it always felt just for survival. And now I’m scrambling and doing a lot of things, but I love what they all are. Okay, so that’s been the biggest difference by day. I’m a brand coach, so I’m a board certified coach. I have been for over five years now. Love it. And combine that with a love of branding and marketing for my main practice. So love that work and showing up for that. On top of that, my partner and I are full time traveling pet sitters, so that’s kind of what we moonlight as. But it’s given us so much freedom to bounce around all over the globe and take in areas that we never would have thought to visit and get to cuddle cute things along the way. So, yeah.

Amy Stone [00:02:15]:
So I don’t think I knew that about you before we started this conversation. The nomadic pet sitter. But you’re not the only nomadic pet sitter. That I know. I know another person who also does that. And I’m not exactly sure how this gig really comes together and works where you could travel the world and take care of other people’s pets. But I’m fascinated by it and I love that you shared it. Okay, so you touched on this a teeny tiny bit. But now we’re going to. Now that you set up what, what a deeply rewarding life looks like for you today, we’re going to rewind the clock, go back in time, and begin to talk about how you got to where you are. So you. Another tidbit you gave me is that you describe yourself as a video game addicted teen. And so I have a few questions about this. The first is I kind of want to know how old you are. I know that like, that’s a question that like gets people some people don’t love. But I’m curious about what the games were that you were playing, like, which is like sort of an age related thing, you know, so.

Megan Dirks [00:03:13]:
Sure, yeah. And full transparency. I’m in my early to mid-30s right now, so I’m 32, about to turn 33. And when I was going through the height of my video game addiction, it was during my teenage years. I was around 14 and my main game of choice was World of Warcraft.

Amy Stone [00:03:30]:
Okay, all right, so it’s still running. So in World of Warcraft, which is W O, they use the letters. Right. Wow. That’s like the shorthand. Wow. And that’s multiplayer. Like you’re playing against people in other places. Okay, all right. Yes. So anyway.

Megan Dirks [00:03:49]:
And also working together with people.

Amy Stone [00:03:52]:
Working together. So it’s. Because there is a difference, right? There is a difference. When we talk about games like, so I’m older than you are. The games that came out when I was growing up, they were, you know, like Pac man and Donkey Kong. And, you know, it did not have the. It was completely different. Completely different. So. Okay, so now do you remember how and when you realized or decided that your behavior and the patterns that you were going through with the video games was not what you wanted to do anymore, or was that your decision or did somebody else interject for you?

Megan Dirks [00:04:30]:
No, that was, that was ultimately my decision. Nobody was really able to pull me out of that hole but me, even then. So for me it just. There was always an awareness of, this is really safe, this is really comfortable, really great escapism. I had a stronger social circle online in the game than I did in real life. I had more aligned friends. I had more supportive Friends, you name it. It was just everything was better there. So why would I want to spend more time working on my life? Yeah, but obviously at some point I was hitting kind of critical foundation forming years for life where it’s like, okay, nothing’s happening for career, nothing’s happening for finance. Health is not getting better. It wasn’t great going into it. It didn’t necessarily get worse, it was just flat. So at some point I have enough self awareness to go like, these aren’t great directions and something has to shake up. Sadly.

Amy Stone [00:05:32]:
No. Well, I mean, I think that, I mean you also. There’s always a choice to not change, right? Like that is, that is a decision. And so I think you get props from me for seeing it and being aware of it and leaning into it and the interactive and the community aspects of the modern games is something that’s totally different from like the 1990s when we were playing games. And the other thing is that they sort of go on forever, you know, like, so the early rounds of video games, it was, they kind of ended until it’s like you could tap out, you could like, it’s like that I’m all the way at the top, you know, and go from there. And so it was different. It definitely was. And I think that what’s interesting about what you said with the video games and you set it up as a problem is like in so many ways post 2020 is the reality for a lot of people. Like, I think a lot of people have very strong online zoom based virtual communities and connections with people in many cases, you know, much stronger than they have on the street, where they live or if they moved during, you know, all of those things. I think that it’s the, the world is an interesting place. All right, so you touched on this a teeny tiny bit and maybe you, maybe that, maybe you already answered it actually. But were there other ripple effects of the gaming and spending all the time gaming that was causing tension, conflict and struggles in your life? So you mentioned that you, it was time for you to make career moves and start making money. And what ways was it showing up in other places in your life?

Megan Dirks [00:07:11]:
Yeah, well, at the time there was, you know, not the strongest income growing up. So not necessarily complete poverty, complete poverty level, but an expectation that I’d be able to contribute. So to be able to get by and be comfortable and also have a little above and beyond to put away for ideally my, my own college or whatever my next move was going to be. So there had to be space for that to start happening at some point. And that was definitely a ripple effect in that area. Family relationships obviously had a little tension. I was very reclusive. I wasn’t feeling incredibly supported on a lot of fronts by friends and family. So I didn’t want to associate with around holidays or a barbecue or you name it. No, I wanted to stay at my desk and talk just like this to friends that were far more invested in being supportive and loving. So that was. Those ripple effects were definitely there socially on the real life side as well.

Amy Stone [00:08:23]:
So. Yeah. And you touched on something that, you said it very eloquently and very calmly. But there’s, you know, we make decisions for a reason. And so it’s a very common thing that the adults in a life now, we use the word screen time. Right. But they, they want kids to come off the screens and if you talk to the kids about it, they really enjoy being on the screens. And one of the things that I think is important for everybody involved to realize is like, you know, the, you mentioned, you’re like, I didn’t have the most supportive relationships outside of that virtual world. And so that’s an important part of the dynamic. It’s like what it was really, it was giving you something that was nice for you and then. And so that was a big change you made. Okay. The next thing that you shared with me was that at some point in this process, because you touched on health, but at some point in this process, you went through a pretty massive physical body transformation.

Megan Dirks [00:09:21]:
Yeah.

Amy Stone [00:09:22]:
So you lost £120.

Megan Dirks [00:09:25]:
Yeah.

Amy Stone [00:09:25]:
That’s amazing.

Megan Dirks [00:09:27]:
Thank you. I also had gained those 120 pounds.

Amy Stone [00:09:31]:
That is how that works too.

Megan Dirks [00:09:33]:
Yeah. So. And I think a lot of people would immediately associate that with the gaming. Like I’m being fat, lazy, not working out all of the negative things. And in reality it was really frustrating to me because I was barely eating. I was going to the gym daily, two hours a day. And I was very young to be doing this as well. It was not a healthy routine, but I was desperate because my body was out of control. And I didn’t find out until years later that I had an underlying hormonal condition that triggered all of that behind the scenes. So all my efforts were in vain. Everybody thought I was lazy and horrible and just, you know, gamer kind of stereotype. And it was getting more and more out of control. But thankfully, so I didn’t think I was crazy. In the end, I found the right doctors and practitioners to correctly diagnose me years later.

Amy Stone [00:10:24]:
Okay, so Because I was going to ask. I was going to say, you know, because there are. Okay, so note about me because you and I have never met before today. Like, I am one of those people who does not actually works really hard. I live in a utopia where all body sizes are welcome and honored and totally work really hard to not make assumptions. Like, hey, if this person has a larger size than me, that means that they are sitting on their tush and drinking soda. So that’s me as a person. But yeah, so there are a million ways to change the size of your body. Like, different things work for different people. And you highlighted that. You discovered that you had a hormonal condition, which is not unusual. A lot of people struggle with this. Even today, where everybody and their brother is taking the massively successful weight loss drugs. Still a reality. Right. I don’t know if that was before or after you were able to do this. The question is like, was so did this was an intentional thing? You were working on it. This was something you wish to change on your own. You made that decision.

Megan Dirks [00:11:28]:
Yeah, it was getting to a very unhealthy place where it was turning into eating disorders at a desperation and just trying to do all the right things and they just weren’t working. So. Okay, let’s keep digging and digging.

Amy Stone [00:11:41]:
Keep digging. Okay. All right. And so then. So you were identifying it as an unhappy. What were the. So what were some of the thoughts that you were experiencing? You. It sounds like you were young when you were going through this.

Megan Dirks [00:11:52]:
Oh, yeah. I mean, I’d say I started having symptoms of what is polycystic ovarian syndrome? Yeah, for me, that were starting to appear when I was like 12.

Amy Stone [00:12:03]:
Okay.

Megan Dirks [00:12:04]:
So as we go through the rest of my teens and into my early 20s, a time where, you know, a lot of my friends were starting to date and maybe have sex and all of these things that I was feeling less and less comfortable with because my body weight was going up and up and up and up regardless. So I got more and more insecure, less and less confident. And again, the dissociation into the video games, for sure.

Amy Stone [00:12:31]:
So yeah, because then you could be off screen, you could take up, pick up an avatar. Sure. That. I mean, that’s a tough time for anybody to deal with changing bodies. Like, you know, it’s. It’s a very, very tough, tough. So. But you had some. You had more complications. Do you remember any of the, like, thoughts about you? So you were dissociating or pulling back. Do you remember any of the thoughts that were Bouncing around in your head at that time about your size that were like sort of driving the intense amount of work to try and make a change.

Megan Dirks [00:13:06]:
Yeah, I mean, especially as a really young girl at the time, there’s the thoughts of like, why would I even bother dating at all? Nobody will love me. I don’t love me, I’m disgusted by me. I have zero control over this and that’s even more infuriating. So a lot of those intrusive thoughts were things I was able to shut off when I gave myself a distraction of gaming as well. And as you say, a lot of the friendships there, we didn’t have video calls, it was just audio. So I was much more comfortable knowing that people were friends with me for authentic, genuine reasons and there wasn’t a shallow, superficial layer there at all.

Amy Stone [00:13:46]:
So yeah, I think you just very, very, very brilliantly illustrated the sort of circle of situations. So you, the gaming, which is it something that you look to stop, was actually a very helpful coping mechanism in a lot of ways that served a purpose. It served a purpose in creating a safe space and doing all those things. So you do not have to share this if you don’t want to, but there are a zillion tools and methods that people use to change their body mass and I do not want to. You do not have to go there. But do you want to share what methods you use? I don’t know if you got the diagnosis of PCOS before or after you were able to reduce, but like how do you. If you want to share how you did that, you can.

Megan Dirks [00:14:34]:
Sure. And just for clarity’s sake too, kind of timeline wise. So I struggled with that stuff all the way through to early to mid 20s people.

Amy Stone [00:14:42]:
Some people struggle through it all the way. I know people who don’t get the diagnosis until they’re trying to build a family. But yeah, so decades. Yeah.

Megan Dirks [00:14:51]:
So some people have spotty or irregular periods. I just flat out had not. So four years. So beyond that though, and the, the family planning issues that come with that. Yeah, it wasn’t until I think I was 24 or 25 where we were like, we knew we had PCOS for a while, but now we actually have a plan of attack because there had been probably four or five years. I was just guinea pigged on and off of various drugs and told to lose weight, which is very counter productive to the whole point of I’m gaining weight because of this condition as well. So yeah, we had gone through some of the basics, Metformin off and on Used for diabetics a lot of the time and insulin resistance and just, just birth control. That’ll regulate it. Spoilers. It didn’t. So yeah, after a lot of that and after a lot of frankly wasting time when things were still escalating for me, it got to the point that I had practitioners just recommending, even though I was very young for this recommended bariatric surgery for me to kind of kick start it, get my body back under control, give me a toolkit that I could control. And that’s what happened in 2016. I went for a vertical sleeve gastrectomy and reduced the size of my stomach. And then thankfully when I went back home, I resumed eating clean and resumed working out. And except this time it actually mattered and I was getting positive feedback from my body and that’s where the 120 pound weight loss came in.

Amy Stone [00:16:36]:
So that. Okay, so that’s good, that’s very good. And like I said, there’s a zillion tools and I am a person who does not actually have an opinion on the tools that people use, whether I just don’t. They all work. There’s a place and I just don’t think that there’s any place point in shaming or judging or putting a value judgment and how we do these things. I don’t, you know, so I’m glad that it worked for you. I’m glad that you began to feel better and do those things. So that’s very, very good. All right, so now let’s sort of draw, draw these, kind of try and bring these things kind of together because I’m wondering if you see a pattern in the, in the changes that you made with the gaming and the, the weight loss and all of the things and building the life that you like. If you see a pattern of things that you sort of have decided over and over again. Like if it’s like sort of the same sequence of self discovery or totally different.

Megan Dirks [00:17:38]:
Yeah, I say for all of those. For me, I have noticed some themes over the years and how I operate and how I, I guess problem solve long term and whether it was popping out of gaming or jobs that didn’t serve me at the time or health issues. There’s always been a theme of I’m a very relentless person and I’m very stubborn in what I would like to think is the best way possible. So if I get really frustrated by something, it turns into a puzzle for me and I will research it and try to figure it out until I figure it out. And that takes A lot of creative out of the box solutions. Sometimes that I feel other people may give up on sooner. Like you go to the doctor, they tell you something, you try it, it doesn’t work. Okay. I guess this is like this forever. I’m. That’s not me. Yeah, we try something, if it’s not working, I, I’m very comfortable self advocating for myself. And I realized that is pretty much essential because not every authority figure, whether it’s business or health and wellness, anything, knows everything. And there are very often times that you can push for a different solution or push to be heard a little more or be that person for yourself really. Because sometimes it is just you that has your best interests.

Amy Stone [00:19:08]:
Right. And only you. I think that’s, I mean that’s 100% like only, you know, your experience. And it’s more something that people are talking about now. Like how in a short meeting with a doctor, it’s very hard to communicate like what’s going on and people get talked over and all of those things. And you know, it’s a, it’s a whole thing. But learning to self advocate, you’re the only one who can feel what’s happening in your own body. You’re the only one that can have that experience. And so like learning how to communicate that to somebody else is like a powerful, powerful tool. So the. All right, so now those, so those are the things that we’ve got. Like. So you’ve made some pretty big changes. You went from being a gamer to not being a gamer. You went through a personal transformation that was very, very, very, very, very, very detailed and comprehensive that involved a medical element and a personal element. You’ve got some career stuff like, so you are a brand consultant. But are you. Is there. You also do a bunch of. And you are a pet sitter. And are you other like. And are there other things that you are elsewhere else as well?

Megan Dirks [00:20:12]:
At the moment I am making a book. You’re making a book with 21 other women. So that is kind of a side thing that’s happening as a passion project. I took off the back burner. Aside from that, just for sake of story as well. My brand coaching wasn’t always my primary practice. My first practice was actually helping other youth with video game addiction.

Amy Stone [00:20:34]:
You think video game addiction. Okay, all right, so there we go. So you first went to that there’s a thing within people who are helping other people, which is that everybody is their own first client. So we begin with the experience. So you helped youth with video game addiction and now you are working on a collaborative book, we call it, right?

Megan Dirks [00:20:57]:
Yeah. An anthology.

Amy Stone [00:20:58]:
An anthology. All right. Very, very nice. Okay, so in a minute, we’ll do final question, but I want to give you a chance to tell people what you do and how you can find them and tell them about the anthology.

Megan Dirks [00:21:12]:
Yeah. So through my own journey, I realized that there’s so many stories of women, that we’ve all gone through these different things, and very rarely do we actually take a platform and just run with it and share. And at the time that I started this project, I was just feeling very negative, and I just wanted to create something in the world that was good, that was nice, that was uplifting, that was hopefully motivating. The concept came from, if you remember, like, old Chicken Soup for the Soul books as a series paired with kind of the more modern before and after posts we see on social media all the time. So I just. Yeah, I dug around and found 20 plus amazing women with various challenges in life, from health to financial ruin to homelessness and variety. And I gave us all a chapter, and we’re throwing it into a book, and we have a companion podcast as well. And it’s been a really, really fun ride so far. And again, very busy, but very rewarding at the same time.

Amy Stone [00:22:26]:
Very nice. I love that. That has a lot of similarity to the stories I’m looking to tell. And you’re doing transformations, and I’m doing the choices that drive the change. And one of the things that. One of the, like, sort of little isms that I have is that I say, you know, everybody’s got a story. The fact that you don’t know somebody’s story doesn’t mean that it’s not there. Like, everybody’s got a story. And because, like, otherwise, we walk through life, like, just, you know, ignoring that and proceeding and treating people like they don’t have a story or, you know, whatever it might be. So. All right, so the name of the book is the Girl on the Left.

Megan Dirks [00:23:04]:
Yes. I probably should have said that.

Amy Stone [00:23:06]:
Girl on the Left. That’s. I have it in front of me, so I will. I’m happy to. This is the reason I do it, instead of asking people to do it from memory, because it’s hard. All right, so. And you have very generously made an offer to the people who are listening if the. For pre order of the book, and if you listen to this in the future and the book is already out, then the pre order is over. Just buy the book. But you can go to thegirlontheleft.com pre order. And we have a code of imperfect 25 that will get you a discount. That’s a really, really wonderful offer and very generous. I want to say thank you to that. That will be in the show notes for people who are listening. But it’s also in the email that I send out which is the easiest way to collect the special offers. So make sure you’re on the email list. And now I am going to ask you. We’re going to close this out with three random questions, rapid fire. You can try and answer them in a couple words just for fun, not based on anything. Ready?

Megan Dirks [00:24:08]:
Very ready.

Amy Stone [00:24:09]:
Okay. She’s got her gamer face on. She’s like, I’m ready. Okay. If money and time were no object, what is your dream vacation destination?

Megan Dirks [00:24:21]:
South African safari. Again, huge. Animal lovers with the nomadic pet sitting. So give me travel and animals and we are very good.

Amy Stone [00:24:29]:
That’s. That is a dream vacation. Have you seen. What is it? The giraffe. The Giraffe Hotel. The giraffe bed and breakfast. Giraffe Manor. That’s it. That’s on my. That’s on my dream list. I just think that that looks amazing.

Megan Dirks [00:24:46]:
Agreed. And giraffes are one of my favorite animals. Just on bare bones. People know that about me. So, yeah, it would be a lovely detour to be able to work that.

Amy Stone [00:24:55]:
In for sure then. Anybody who has not googled Giraffe Manor definitely should. It’s, it’s. They, they. You can eat breakfast or lunch or dinner. You can eat a meal and the giraffes reach in and steal your coffee through the windows. Just through the windows. I just, I can’t. I just, I. It looks amazing. Okay, so next question. On a rainy day with no work, no chores, nothing expected of you, even in your pet sitting, there’s no pets. They’re not. There’s nothing to be done. Right. How do you fill your day these days? Did you. I’m going to give you some multiple choice, but you can select outside if it doesn’t work. Reading books, watching TVs or movies, listening to music, playing games or doing puzzles. Crafty stuff. What’s your, what’s your. What’s your passion there?

Megan Dirks [00:25:39]:
Yeah, probably still playing games. Honestly, I’ve looped back to that in a very healthy way. I still play with friends that I met in 2008, so that is still definitely the medium of choice versus TV. I just can’t as much. It’s. There’s no interactivity. So for me, that’s still my Go to with a cozy tea and a blanket and maybe a nice bath after and we’re having a great day.

Amy Stone [00:26:04]:
No, that’s good. Games can get a bad rep. Like so definitely like people can overdo it and stuff like that. But I have somebody in my family who was an avid gamer that then became a software engineer and so like the gaming was sort of like the pre setup. So and probably everybody would have been happy with to drop the years of fighting about or were you gaming too much? But I mean there’s just not to say that you can’t have a problem just like to show that like. No, absolutely it can go the other way.

Megan Dirks [00:26:29]:
In my original practice for that a lot of my work was with parents and reminding them that a lot of very lucrative, very valid career paths usually develop from gaming as an interest. So.

Amy Stone [00:26:40]:
Oh yeah.

Megan Dirks [00:26:41]:
Programming.

Amy Stone [00:26:41]:
Yeah.

Megan Dirks [00:26:42]:
Art.

Amy Stone [00:26:43]:
Yeah. There. And, and the games are so different. So when, when my step kids and kids were little, Minecraft was first out and there was a whole community of like, don’t let your kids spend too much time. And then the person in my family who’s a programmer was like actually here are the skills that you develop in Minecraft. And I was like, okay, like there’s two sides to this coin for sure. Right? Two sides to this coin. Also. I just. For everybody who’s listening, I eventually lost the battle in my house over scream time. Unequivocally lost. When the Apple watch came out, I completely lost. There was no way to stop my children. They win the battle. It’s. I moved on. Okay, so what is the most recent thing that you purchased for yourself because you wanted it like just for pleasure. So you can’t count like a toothbrush or floss or something.

Megan Dirks [00:27:33]:
Honestly, what comes to mind is the sweater I’m wearing.

Amy Stone [00:27:36]:
Oh, very nice.

Megan Dirks [00:27:37]:
People may or may not be able to see, but this was my Black Friday winter hoodie sale that I scored. And as you travel nomadically with pets, many of your clothes do get destroyed.

Amy Stone [00:27:50]:
Oh, interesting.

Megan Dirks [00:27:51]:
Sometimes. Sometimes your favorite clothes get destroyed or just worn down or a little ripped up or eaten sometimes. So we do notice we go through more clothes in this side hustle of ours.

Amy Stone [00:28:05]:
That is so that’s an unexpected challenge of being a nomadic pet sitter. I would not have said, I would not have guessed that. I actually, I don’t know what I would have guessed the side effects were. I think I would have guessed that the side. The challenges were like finding new clients and figuring out where you’re going to go. And in between and stuff like that. But the clothing aspect, I. I don’t know that I would have picked that. But I also have to admit that I have not put a whole lot of thought about this until this one moment right here.

Megan Dirks [00:28:31]:
There.

Amy Stone [00:28:33]:
There we go.

Megan Dirks [00:28:33]:
Honestly, we are typically booked six to eight months out in advance. We don’t take anything less than a month. And otherwise, it can feel a little chaotic when you’re still holding down your businesses and stuff, too, and having a little too much travel in there. Yeah, I can’t imagine differences. You name it.

Amy Stone [00:28:52]:
I cannot imagine just trying to, like, have us trying to travel and have, like, a stable signal for, like, a meeting wherever you end up is so stressful. And so to do that when you were changing locations for a month, I can imagine would be. I would imagine it would take a learning curve to get good at it, to be able to balance it for sure. All right, well, that’s it. Megan, I want to thank you very much for being a wonderful guest on the Imperfect Adulting Show.

Megan Dirks [00:29:20]:
Thank you so much for having me today. It was genuinely a really fun chat.