It is said that the human body keeps score of everything we experience, but during times of collective stress, that accounting becomes especially complicated. Dr. Danielle Griffin learned this lesson the hard way during the pandemic, when what appeared to be remarkable resilience on the surface masked a dangerous accumulation of physical and emotional strain beneath.
By late 2021, Griffin had navigated a year and a half of unprecedented challenges while maintaining her roles as mother, wife, employee, and business owner. She had managed her travel agency through industry collapse, supervised a team through remote work transitions, bought a house, and welcomed a second child. To outside observers, she embodied strength and adaptability. But her body was telling a different story.
“It wasn’t until much later, and I say much later, like, maybe a year or so later” that Griffin began to recognize the full impact of sustained collective stress, she said. The recognition came not through a single moment of clarity, but through the gradual awareness that her relationships, her physical health, and her capacity to cope were all showing signs of strain. Her experience illuminates a critical truth about navigating shared trauma: the very skills that help us survive crisis periods can become the patterns that ultimately overwhelm us if left unchecked.
Understanding the Nature of Collective Stress
Collective stress emerges when entire communities face similar challenges simultaneously, creating shared experiences of disruption and uncertainty. Griffin defines it as situations where “we’re all going through similar experiences” and “all of our stories are similar, but different.”
The pandemic exemplified collective stress on a global scale, but the concept extends beyond singular events. “We all have had the same experience in terms of, you know, the lockdown, the feelings of loneliness, even if we were surrounded by people,” Griffin explained. This shared experience creates a unique form of psychological burden because traditional support systems become strained when everyone needs help at once.
During the pandemic, Griffin found herself managing not only her own uncertainty but serving as an emotional anchor for others. Between her travel business clients dealing with trip cancellations and her employees navigating remote work stress, she became a repository for collective anxiety. “A lot of people bringing their concerns to me to figure it out for them when I couldn’t even figure it out for myself,” she said.
This pattern of becoming the designated problem-solver during collective stress is common among people with strong coping skills. The very competence that makes someone reliable in normal circumstances can become a liability when everyone simultaneously needs support.
The Compound Effect of Life Transitions
What made Griffin’s situation particularly challenging was the layering of personal transitions on top of collective stress. Within an 18-month period, she experienced the death of her father-in-law, her father’s cancer diagnosis and subsequent death, a new pregnancy, a home purchase, and the expansion of her business operations.
“We had two huge losses in that year,” Griffin said, describing the deaths that occurred in May and October of 2021. “Still neither of their deaths directly related to the pandemic, but within this pandemic period.”
The timing illustrates how collective stress amplifies personal challenges. Grief that might be manageable under normal circumstances becomes exponentially more difficult when support systems are disrupted and additional stressors are present. Griffin found herself “trying to help make sure that these other pieces weren’t falling apart, their worlds weren’t falling apart, and needing to keep my own self together.”
This experience highlights a crucial aspect of collective stress: it doesn’t pause for personal crises. Instead, it creates a backdrop of constant low-level activation that makes processing individual challenges more difficult.
When the Body Demands Attention
Physical symptoms often serve as the first reliable indicator that collective stress has exceeded our capacity to manage it effectively. For Griffin, this manifested most clearly in her postpartum recovery. “After having our son, my body just felt like a train wreck,” she said. “That was one probably the biggest, like, physical embodiments of, you know, how I was feeling, you know, carrying that emotional burden as well as the physical from, you know, postpartum.”
The intersection of emotional and physical strain is central to understanding how collective stress operates. Griffin’s body was simultaneously processing the physical demands of childbirth and recovery while managing the accumulated stress of ongoing crisis management. Traditional approaches to postpartum recovery didn’t account for the additional layer of collective trauma affecting her healing process.
Her search for physical relief led her back to yoga practice, though with limited success initially. “Everything hurt,” she said, describing her attempts at home workouts and movement practices. The physical tension had become so embedded that conventional exercise approaches weren’t providing the relief she needed.
The Pattern of Adding More Instead of Addressing Root Causes
One of the most insidious aspects of collective stress is how it can drive us toward solutions that inadvertently add to our burden. Griffin’s decision to become a yoga instructor exemplifies this pattern. What began as a search for personal healing quickly evolved into another professional responsibility.
“Even becoming the yoga instructor was another add,” Griffin reflected. “You know, something I thought that was going to provide relief for my life. You know, it opened more doors for me, but it was another add.”
Amy Stone’s observation during the interview captured this dynamic perfectly: “I don’t know exactly how old you were when this happened, but I call this the rule of 35. Right about the time we turned 35 years old, whatever our hobbies are, and, and, or it can be a work thing. Many, many people become instructors and coaches in those things.”
This pattern of turning relief activities into additional obligations reflects a deeper issue with how we respond to overwhelm. When we’re operating from a stressed state, we often apply the same problem-solving approaches that created the overwhelm in the first place: adding activities, taking on responsibilities, and trying to manage our way out of the situation.
Discovering Somatic Approaches to Healing
Griffin’s breakthrough came through discovering somatic practices, which she describes as “mind, body awareness, using breath, work, meditation and movement to really heal the body, come to peace, mentally bringing clarity and to really to relieve that stress, anxiety, built up tension and having awareness of where you’re carrying it within yourself.”
The key distinction of somatic work is its recognition that stress and trauma are stored in the body, not just processed by the mind. “We’re reminded that, you know, our mental health isn’t just within our mind, but it’s carried within parts of our body,” Griffin explained.
This approach proved effective where other methods had fallen short because it addressed the physical manifestations of collective stress directly. Rather than simply managing symptoms or adding coping strategies, somatic practices helped Griffin release tension that had become embedded in her nervous system and musculature.
The pivotal moment came when a business coach told her, “you know, the money will come. Like, you can let go of the things.” This statement resonated because it challenged the underlying belief that she had to maintain all her activities to ensure security. “That statement, it resonated with me,” Griffin said. “Not that immediately. I wasn’t like, you know what? You’re right. I really went. It was that. That made me go down this kind of rabbit hole.”
The Ripple Effects of Individual Healing
Griffin’s personal healing journey through somatic practices had implications beyond her individual recovery. As she began to experience relief from chronic tension and overwhelm, she recognized similar patterns in her family members and community. “Like, I have family members that are going through what I just went through, and this really helped me, and I need to learn it so I can help them too,” she said.
This progression from personal healing to community support illustrates how addressing collective stress requires both individual and systemic approaches. While each person must do their own work to process stored stress and trauma, the shared nature of collective challenges means that individual healing contributes to broader community resilience.
Griffin’s current work helping “busy professionals reduce stress, relieve pain, and heal from trauma” through somatic exercises and hypnotherapy represents this expansion from personal practice to community resource.
Moving Forward with Awareness
The experience of navigating collective stress provides valuable insights about resilience, vulnerability, and the importance of attending to both individual and community needs during challenging periods. Griffin’s story demonstrates that recognizing the impact of collective stress often happens in retrospect, after the immediate crisis has passed and we have space to process what we’ve experienced.
The key lesson involves learning to distinguish between genuine resilience and unsustainable coping patterns. True resilience includes the capacity to recognize when we’re operating beyond our limits and to make adjustments before reaching a breaking point.
Collective stress will continue to be a feature of modern life, whether through global events, economic disruptions, or community challenges. Griffin’s experience suggests that developing body awareness and somatic practices before we reach overwhelm provides crucial tools for navigating these periods with greater awareness and less accumulated damage.
Her journey from overwhelm to healing illustrates that recovery from collective stress requires more than just rest or stress management techniques. It demands practices that help us release stored tension and trauma while developing new patterns of responding to challenges that don’t compound over time.
The body’s wisdom, Griffin learned, extends far beyond what we consciously recognize. By developing practices that honor this wisdom and provide pathways for releasing accumulated stress, we create sustainable approaches to navigating the inevitable collective challenges that lie ahead.
This article was inspired by an interview with Dr. Danielle Griffin and Amy Stone on The Art of Imperfect Adulting podcast. To hear more compelling conversations like this one and receive special offers from our guests directly to your inbox, join our email community today.
Interview Transcript Danielle Griffin with Amy Stone | The Art of Imperfect Adulting | September 18, 2025
Amy Stone [00:00:06]:
Doctor Danielle Griffin, welcome to the art of imperfect adulting. I’m really happy you’re here today. Are you ready for a fun chat?
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:00:14]:
Yes, of course. Thanks for having me. Happy to be here.
Amy Stone [00:00:16]:
Yay. All right, I start all of my conversations asking my guests what part of the world you call home. Where are you today?
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:00:23]:
Yes, I am located in Houston. Texas is where my family lives, but originally reside from Phoenix, Arizona.
Amy Stone [00:00:33]:
All right, so lots of. Just all the hot climates. You went from dry and hot in Phoenix to dry to hot and steamy in Houston. All right, very good. I have one more warmup question before we get to the topic of the day, and that is, what is a compliment or a recent words of kindness kind of thing that you have shared with somebody else, even if it’s something small? Earlier today?
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:00:58]:
Yeah, I know my husband and I have done like, couples counseling and therapy. And so out of that, I’ve been more mindful to, you know, just show gratitude. And you appreciate him, like, say, oh, you look nice today. You know, just not expect it, you know, just remembering to outwardly recognize him and that I see him. And so, you know, I try to, oh, you smell good. You look nice. You know, so that’s, that’s probably the. The most recent thing.
Amy Stone [00:01:35]:
That sounds pretty good. I think that goes under the category not just of kindness, but also potentially good relationship advice for all of us here listening. All right, so the topic of the day is we’re going to talk about a time in your own life when you were feeling slightly overwhelmed and physically drained despite outward appearances of resilience. And we’re going to talk about what you did to bring things in your life back into alignment. Are you ready to talk about that today?
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:02:05]:
Yes, most definitely.
Amy Stone [00:02:07]:
All right, very good. So based on what I know, which is not very much, but from your intake form, the time when you made this personal discovery was sometime during the pandemic lockdown situation.
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:02:21]:
So.
Amy Stone [00:02:21]:
So the first thing I actually want to talk about is what did your life look like before the pandemic and lockdown? Like, what was your relationship status? You mentioned that you have a husband. Have a husband now, but did you then were you living alone? What was your job situation like? Were you working out of the house? What was your social circles like? So give us a picture of what it looked like before this, before lockdown, so that then we have something to talk about with comparison with lockdown.
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:02:48]:
Yes. So before the pandemic. Yes, I married. I have my older son. We weren’t pregnant yet. With my second Son talk, having conversations about, you know, expanding our family, but not quite there yet, depending on how far back you go. Prior to the pandemic, um, let’s see, in 2019, so I was working a full time job at the university. Um, so driving back and forth all the way downtown Houston. I live in the suburbs, so it was like hour, hour and a half commute on a good day.
Amy Stone [00:03:33]:
Wow.
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:03:35]:
And you know, just I would say pretty standard living at the time. My mother in law was staying with us. You know, we had, you know, a nice blended family, a dog, you know, the, the typical things, bringing our son to after school activities as well as I was running another business as with a travel agency. And so in 2019, I decided to expand my business bringing on some independent contractors, things of that nature. So I finished my doctorate degree. So a lot of things kind of like blooming, but moving in a what I felt like a positive direction at that time. So.
Amy Stone [00:04:21]:
All right, so. But a lot of, a lot of social connections outside of the home, which sets it up for everybody’s. Has their own pandemic experience. Everybody knows that most of us came home from the office and reduced our, a lot of our social connections from in person to, you know, these little screens that we have at home. So, so then. And so you had, but you were not living alone and you had, you had a growing family. So you had a family and family social circle. You had two jobs. So you were very, very busy as an individual. But let’s. So we go. So everybody has their own lockdown stories. I have mine. My kids are older than yours. So there are different situations. Tell us what your lockdown situation turned out to be like, you know, terms you don’t have to, you don’t have to give us the whole year of, of of stuff, but just generally, what was life tech for you guys during lockdown?
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:05:21]:
Yeah, well, like I said, I was running a travel agency. And so when the last, when that stopped. Yes, I had clients with trips canceling and you know, the, the world was on fire and trying to manage that stress, you know, trying to manage the, the clients without my business falling apart. You know, navigating that was its own stressor. And then like I mentioned, I had another full time job where I was going to office. And shortly after the pandemic we still were, but they were like kind of modifying it. And then not too long after that they’re like, okay, nobody else is coming in. And I was a supervisor at the time, so managing people, you know, managing other people’s stress, you know, those things to me. So between the travel business and the full time job, like just a lot of people bringing their concerns to me to figure it out for them when I couldn’t even figure it out for myself.
Amy Stone [00:06:31]:
Right. That’s one of the. It’s one of the great things about the pandemic is we were all walking around like pretending that somebody out there had the answers, when the truth is that nobody knew what they were doing. I mean, maybe there is somebody somewhere that was like, had spent their whole life planning for this situation and they had some opinions, but nobody I knew actually had any idea what they were doing. And I kept reminding myself of that as we would go through and there would be like ridiculous situations. I was like, all right, everybody’s doing the best they can and this is annoying, but we don’t. Nobody knows. Nobody knows. So one of my favorite stories from my kids are older than yours. I had a kid in middle school and one of my favorite lockdown stories is the school presented this very, very comprehensive plan. And there was a lot of planning that went into this, but they were doing language studies, beginning language studies, and the teacher and the students, because there was hybrid, like, I’m in Florida, so we were doing hybrid remote and in person, and everybody was wearing a mask. So learning a language and studying a language where nobody can see anybody else’s face. And I was like, I’m sitting on the zoom meeting listening to this and being like, oh, wow, that sounds like a terrible job, a terrible idea. But at the same time I was like, what do I care? You know, like, they’ll make it through so on and so forth. And one of my favorite parts of the story is that I actually told this kid who is mine, and I was like, hey, your goal here in this class is to try not to fail. And then in one of the really, really terrible things that children, he like repeated that at school. And I got a school call from the school that was like, Mrs. Stone, we would appreciate if you had slightly standards. And I was like, yeah, well, my higher standards are going to be that my to review with my son not to repeat these things. Like, this was not meant for consumption at school, son, anyway.
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:08:19]:
Right, but I mean those conversations where you have to remind your kids, like certain things stay at home.
Amy Stone [00:08:25]:
Right, right, exactly. This was an off the cuff comment to tell you how I felt about this. Anyway, we made it through that year of education. It had its challenges, for sure. All right, so one of the reasons I thought that story might be Relevant is because at the beginning I mentioned your words, which were outward appearances of resilience. How was that part of your experience and what you began to notice as you were going through lockdown and the pandemic?
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:08:54]:
Yeah, well, like I mentioned, you know, just a lot of people bringing their concerns to me and just having to have a level head, having to navigate these things without my own world falling apart. Shortly after the start of the pandemic, you know, we did get pregnant with our second child. We were in the process of also purchasing a new home. And, you know, as well as having the. At the time he was in third grade, you know, another kid who’s you basically homeschooled for the rest of the year. So just trying to help make sure that these other pieces weren’t falling apart, their worlds weren’t falling apart, and needing to keep my own self together so that we can move through all these life changes successfully as a family unit.
Amy Stone [00:09:54]:
Yeah, that’s a lot going on. I mean, it was a long time. The time period of the pandemic, and every day felt like its own little year. But the, you know, so it’s a long time, but you had a lot of stuff going on. So you were holding down a job with a team. Your side business, which was travel, I’m going to guess that that really sort of closed down for the most part during.
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:10:16]:
During lockdown, or not so much actually successfully able to. To keep it open.
Amy Stone [00:10:21]:
Okay.
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:10:22]:
So it’s still a business that I have along with, you know, the work that I do now. But I don’t. I’m not as hands on these days.
Amy Stone [00:10:33]:
All right, so you were still dealing with travel because travel remained complicated for, I mean, forever and for a while. So you have those two things. Buying a house, that’s a major life change. That’s a lot of stress dealing with school and lockdown and Covid restrictions, which I lived my own version of that, and I think a lot of people did. It’s so one of the things that’s so interesting to me is even though we’re five years after this, I’m still talking to a lot of people whose shifts in life really do originate at parts of this global event. And so you have that and then, you know, you love your family and you decide to grow your family and have another baby. I love kids and I love babies. But one of the things that I always say is they don’t actually make anything simpler.
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:11:22]:
No, they don’t.
Amy Stone [00:11:23]:
And going through this during. During lockdown and during the pandemic would, I think, be a spot of a huge uncertainty.
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:11:33]:
Yeah, it was, you know, just like the rest of the pandemic, really needing take it day by day, you know, carefully going to doctor’s appointments. You know, there were conversations I remember having early on with my OB and like, whether it was safe to go into work. Because that was like, when we first found out, you know, we still weren’t fully shut down with the job. And it was like, I don’t know that I feel comfortable with all this, you know, pandemic talk. We don’t know the risk to, to pregnant women and their babies. And she’s like, there’s nothing that shows that you can’t go into work. I was like, I need a note.
Amy Stone [00:12:20]:
You were like, thanks for that. Not gonna listen.
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:12:24]:
Right. Fortunately, I. Fortunately, unfortunately, I guess maybe a week later, two weeks at the most, the. The conversation changed and, you know, things started progressing. You know, numbers started climbing in terms of, you know, people getting sick, people dying. And so she, you know, like I said, shortly after, changed her. Her tone or messaging the, the information she was receiving. So.
Amy Stone [00:12:57]:
But, well, that’s, that’s a whole other thing that would be stressful. So, like, she was not exactly sure what part of medical school they teach how to present information that you don’t actually know with the full faith and authority that you do know. But it’s clearly, it’s something that all the doctors that I’ve dealt with have in common is they’re like, here, this piece of information and they present it with a lot of confidence. And then sometimes they’ll come back and be like, yeah, no, sorry, wrong. But during the pandemic there was a lot of that because really it was moving so fast. So initially she was giving you her honest opinion that everything was safe, but then that would be very stressful that you come back and be like, yeah, no, we don’t think it is anymore. We think there’s tremendous risk. Not at a low stress point in your. Because that is one of the weird times to be a person is when you’re holding the responsibility of the health of like a teeny tiny little, you know, pin size cluster of cells inside your body. And, you know, it’s, it can be, you know, can I eat the deli meat? Well, it depends, you know, how much faith do you have in the refrigerator from the store?
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:14:06]:
Right, yeah, the quote unquote, normal things that you have to deal with as a pregnant woman.
Amy Stone [00:14:12]:
Right, exactly.
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:14:15]:
The pandemic. So.
Amy Stone [00:14:17]:
Oh, yeah, yeah. All right. So one of the things you talk about is that you began to feel overwhelmed and physically drained. Now that I know that part of this is pregnancy, this is a more complicated question. So when did you realize. When did you begin to realize that you were overwhelmed and that you were really, really tired?
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:14:36]:
So, honestly, it wasn’t until much later, and I say much later, like, maybe a year or so later. You know, we kind of moved through that first year, 2020, as best we could. Like I said, we did the home buying thing, but we fit. We closed on our home and had our son in November of 2020, like, oh, two weeks apart. We moved in. And then came the baby. And then 21 hit. And in May of 21, my husband’s dad passed away. And then in July, my dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and he passed away in October on my husband’s birthday. So we had two huge losses in that year. You know, still neither of their deaths directly related to the pandemic, but within this pandemic period, you know, still not working from home, but still navigating the stress of. All right now we have new strains of COVID and, you know, people are wanting to get out. You know, how much do we stay at home versus travel? At the time, my parents were still in Phoenix, Arizona, so needing to get back and forth to help out my mom to caretake, as well as wanting to spend, you know, some time with my dad before he passed. And so it really wasn’t until after his passing and dealing with, you know, kind of that overwhelm of emotions, you know, disconnection from my husband because of the passing of his dad, you know, both grieving together, but separately also, my mom grieving and trying to manage that as well, the back and forth, like I said, between states, trying to help her wrap things up. Also trying to convince her to move here because, like, hey, all your kids are out of Arizona. You know, we’re all either here in Texas at the time. My oldest sister was in North Carolina, so. So, like, you know, that’s more of a strain for. For everybody. And so just between all the things, like I said, grief, work.
Amy Stone [00:17:12]:
Yeah.
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:17:13]:
Baby.
Amy Stone [00:17:16]:
New house.
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:17:17]:
Yeah. And the new house, travel, working. That’s a lot on our relationship. Or trying to, you know, just felt like things were falling apart. Yeah.
Amy Stone [00:17:28]:
Your relationship had two sort of double whammies. Well, okay, so actually more so, like, there’s the grief, which you guys went through two waves of grief, which undoubtedly is a strain on the relationship. Moving is a strain on the relationship. Adding a new Child is a strain on the relationship. I don’t know how much you know about family relationship dynamics, but it goes exponentially up every time you add a kid. So it’s like the first kid is one level of strain. And then every time you add another kid, it like, ratchets up because every. Everything gets more complicated. Right. Like, you can. Like the communication skills you have. When you’re a party of two and you go to three, that’s one strain. But when you go from three to four people in the house, it’s like, it’s a lot harder. Right? So it’s a lot harder. So family therapists are like, yeah, that’s. That’s a pressure point where we can expect to hear from. From couples. Like, so. So you guys had all this going on in the relationship. Not all relationships made it through the pandemic. It would just by itself with all of the things. Whether it was coming home. And this is a. I have no. This is Amy, like, life experience. This is from. Pulled from my friend group. Not. I don’t have any actual data for this. Right. Though, you know, whether it was coming home, everybody’s in the small house and getting along that put pressure on her or whatever. I knew people who didn’t make it. There were pandemic divorces probably just like there were pandemic, like love affairs. Right. So all of those things. So would you say that you. It took you longer than expected to realize that you were drained and overwhelmed or were you aware right from the get go?
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:19:08]:
I think it probably took a little bit longer than expected. I. It wasn’t really until, like, I was seeing the impacts on kind of all. All my relationships, or at least the significant ones. I said my husband, my mom, you know, at that time as well. Or it was going into 2020 or 2022. Excuse me, where I became a yoga instructor, you know, looking for relief, you know, physical relief from your. The child bearing. After having our son, my body just felt like a train wreck. And that was one probably the biggest, like, physical embodiments of, you know, how I was feeling, you know, carrying that emotional burden as well as the physical from, you know, postpartum. And.
Amy Stone [00:20:10]:
And were you. Sorry to interrupt you, but yeah. So were you a, like a yoga student? Like, were you a fan of yoga before this? And then you were like, okay, I’m going to take the chance to become a yoga teacher. Or you just woke up one day and you were like, you know, what I want to do is teach yoga.
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:20:28]:
It was a little. Both so before the pandemic, I was a yoga student.
Amy Stone [00:20:32]:
Okay.
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:20:33]:
I went fairly regularly, but I did a variety of exercises. The studio that I went to did not survive the pandemic.
Amy Stone [00:20:43]:
Yeah, it was a hard time to be an in person. Fitness. Yeah.
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:20:47]:
And so, and then plus, you know, we moved not too far from where we were before, but, you know, just trying to find, okay, I don’t have a, a yoga studio. You’re trying to find, what am I going to do physically to, you know, get back in shape, feel like myself again? So I was doing a lot of home workouts, not necessarily specifically yoga, but, you know, just trying to find something that worked and felt good for my body. And I was really struggling. Everything hurt.
Amy Stone [00:21:17]:
Yeah.
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:21:18]:
And so, you know, maybe a few months after, you know, moving in, having our son, I saw up the road, oh, there’s a new studio being built, you know, just kind of keeping my eye out on it. I didn’t know exactly when it would be open. And then, you know, one day it was open. And so I went in and signed up, became a student, you know, just attending regular classes. But after a few months, because they were new, they were still looking for instructors. I saw that they had a trainer there one day and I just happened to ask, you know, you know, I know a couple people that teach, but I don’t really know about it, you know, what, what does it mean to become a yoga instructor? And it was kind of one of those things. She’s like, glad you asked. And before you know it.
Amy Stone [00:22:11]:
So I don’t know exactly how old you were when this happened, but I call this the rule of 35. Right about the time we turned 35 years old, whatever our hobbies are, and, and, or it can be a work thing. Many, many people become instructors and coaches in those things. Like, so, like, if you are a hobby spinning person, you love it. Right around 35 years old, they’re like, hey, do you want to learn it? And you’re like, sure, sign me up. You know, like, and it’s like this, it’s this crazy thing and it, you can see there’s a workplace version of it, which is like, you step into the role of being a trainer. It’s like you’ve been doing your job. And so, yeah, I call that. It’s not an actual rule, but I call it the rule of 35 because it sounds funny. All right, so I’m talking to Dr. Danielle Griffin about a time in her life where she realized that she was overwhelmed and she was tired and she was doing all those things and how she worked through that. And I want to take a minute and invite the audience. That’s you guys, to the conversation. I post a discussion question on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube. Go check it out. I’ll be there in the comments. Hopefully, Dr. Danielle Griffin will be there as well, and other people from the community. We’d love to see you there. All right, coming back to what we were talking about, we’re talking about this shift that you made for yourself, and also, I think how you. At some point, this becomes how you support clients that began or emerged during this season of pandemic life. So one of the things that you said in the pitch when you submitted the topic was these words of healing from collective stress. And I have a couple questions about that as a concept, if that is okay.
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:23:49]:
That’s perfect.
Amy Stone [00:23:50]:
All right, very good. So let’s start with this little doozy. Could you define collective stress for us? Like, what do we mean when we say this?
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:23:59]:
Yeah. So the collective stress, meaning that we’re all going through similar experiences. You know, looking at the COVID pandemic as a collective stressor, collective trauma experience. You know, all of our stories are similar, but different.
Amy Stone [00:24:23]:
Yeah.
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:24:23]:
We all have had the same experience in terms of, you know, the lockdown, the. The feelings of loneliness, even if we were surrounded by people.
Amy Stone [00:24:37]:
Yeah.
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:24:39]:
You know, the needing to change, you know, because of losses.
Amy Stone [00:24:50]:
Yeah.
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:24:52]:
Feeling like, all right, my life before the pandemic was different. Coming out of it, something shifted. Whether it’s, you know, I lost a job, I lost a family member, and I don’t want to live my life this way going forward.
Amy Stone [00:25:13]:
Yeah.
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:25:13]:
I think a lot of us have experienced that.
Amy Stone [00:25:18]:
Yeah.
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:25:19]:
Different way, but. And it’s caused us to have this awakening. But not everybody is to the point where they fully understand what exactly happened and what needs to. To shift for them. They’re still stuck in this anxiousness, this compounding. You know, I kind of talked about my story of this compounding of adding things, even becoming the yoga instructor was another ad. You know, something I thought that was going to provide relief for my life. You know, it opened more doors for me, but it was another ad. You know, now I’m working in a studio. I’m having to show up four days a week for, you know, a couple hours a day for a class. You know, that, you know, in similar ways where I was in the office, you know, supervising people coming to me and travel agency people coming to me, me pouring more of myself into others and not really getting the same amount. In return, I just added more. You know, kids are getting older, family life getting more stressful. You know, more bills, more. You know, my mom moved out here, so that was another. So. And we were. Like I said, we’re all gone through that, whether we realize or not. Just continuing. Continuing to busy ourselves, thinking that it’s going to get better. Oh, if I do this something that I like. Right. It’s enjoyable. But I turned it into something that is now a stress, that’s a grind, a hustle.
Amy Stone [00:27:02]:
Yeah.
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:27:03]:
I feel like, especially with COVID perpetuated that. That hustle culture, that busyness.
Amy Stone [00:27:12]:
Yeah, I think definitely. I think definitely. I mean, I think one of the things that stands out from the. When you were telling about the layers of compounding things that were going through your life is that you had something that all by itself, the passing of two parents in your. Which by itself would have been an enormous stressor. And it’s just sandwiched in between the other things. And I think that maybe that’s just because today what we’re talking about is surrounded by the pandemic, and that’s just.
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:27:45]:
The way it is.
Amy Stone [00:27:45]:
But that’s the way the story gets told. But watching a parent go through pancreatic cancer, which is famous for the challenges of that particular unpleasant journey, that all by itself is probably its own story. But there was so much going on in your life that it was definitely compounding. Almost like the two visuals that I use for that are, like, the avalanche and the snowball. Those are those two things. Nothing is going away. It’s growing with every single level. So collective stress is that when we’re going through it as a collective and the pandemic, it was really global, which is kind of crazy. So here’s a question that you may not have an answer for, but I’d love your opinions on it. Do you think of collective stress as something that is modern or new? Or if we went back, like, really far back in time to like the 1700s, like, so before, actually, I might have my. But before there was, like, industry, like mass industry and like, stuff like that, you know, would we still find collective stress, do you think, within communities? Or is this something that we have invented with, you know, with the. With the Internet.
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:28:54]:
Right. You know, I would imagine, you know, just knowing, you know, some history and how people work in society, you know, just thinking about, you know, stories that they told, like when the. The Spanish flu.
Amy Stone [00:29:12]:
Right.
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:29:14]:
People similar with COVID were. Lack of better words, dropping like flies, you know, in terms of the death toll, that was something that everyone was experiencing. Now, how they documented the trauma and how people were managing emotionally, I don’t think that that was, you know, documented. Yeah, not to the level that we’re doing it now. And I think that’s where, you know, like you mentioned social media comes in and just a mass media in, in general were able to talk about it and it’s been. It’s became a more acceptable to talk about emotions.
Amy Stone [00:30:03]:
Oh, sure.
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:30:04]:
We’re feeling stress levels where even just a few years ago that felt taboo. Right. Like, you know, people ignored those things. You know, it’s commonplace to just push through. You know, everything is going to be fine. You know, we’ll make it through. And yes, it is human nature to be resilient and to find a way and figure things out, right?
Amy Stone [00:30:32]:
Yeah.
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:30:33]:
But the emotional toll that it takes on a person, is it impacting our longevity? Is it impacting how we’re raising our kids and, you know, potential generational traumas that we’re now instilling because of how we react or interact with our family members?
Amy Stone [00:30:57]:
Yeah, I mean, one of the things, because your kids were young, but like one of the things that going through lockdown that I point out to the kids in my family, I had some kids that were through the education system, one that was in graduate school and the other one in high school and one in middle school is where it. Mine broke through. And one of the things that I’ve talked about this with them is that they experience something very much different than my life, which is that they watch their communities basically break. So the schools. Right. So there’s a thing. It’s like school is one of kids, if they go to an external school, it’s one of their very first independent communities outside the home. And school shut down. Right. So that is not an experience that I had experienced in my life. It’s not the first time it’s happened. I think that. And other times, like, you know, during World wars and things, school stopped. So, like, I’m not like, you know, making this into something, but they, their whole life, they carry. Will carry that forward, this idea that it is possible that everything around me will just shut down tomorrow. And I think about that and I’m just like, that is different. That is different than my experience. And so because of that, they’re going to change. They’re going to make their decisions about their life differently and they’re going to. Everything is different for them. So. All right, so why do you think it matters to an individual except for you. And you can answer this from your side. Why does it matter to, like, one person if the stress that we’re experiencing is part of a collective event?
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:32:27]:
I think it matters the most in that it impacts our overall interactions with people.
Amy Stone [00:32:35]:
Okay.
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:32:35]:
It creates more of an understanding that, hey, this person might be going through something. How they’re talking to me right now likely has nothing to do with me.
Amy Stone [00:32:50]:
So almost more. More awareness and more compassion shows up. Okay.
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:32:55]:
Exactly. And I know a lot of people, especially because of social media, maybe not because of social media, but amplified by social media, you know, can be careless or reckless with words or how they speak to people, how they treat people, how they assume. An image is one thing, but maybe it’s not. Or, you know, I remember I taught a somatic exercise workshop shortly after the new year, and one of the ladies that went to the workshop, you know, she. She messaged me maybe a day or so later, you telling me how great it was. But she. When she was headed home, you know, on the roads headed towards the freeway, she was stopped at a light. And it was the. There was like an entryway into a shopping center, you know, like a little driveway, and somebody was trying to pull out of the driveway into the street. Well, unfortunately, she stopped a little too late to realize that, oh, somebody wanted to exit, so she was blocking the. The exit for them. Well, when, you know, she finally pulled off forward because traffic was moving, they pulled out, they yelled out her. The window, cussing her out, you know, flipping the finger. And she was just like, really appalled. You know, she’s in just this peaceful state. And she was like, you know, they really could have used that because, like, I didn’t stop there on purpose. You know, like what I did didn’t have.
Amy Stone [00:34:37]:
Yeah.
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:34:38]:
Anything to do with them. And they just, you know, completely reacted in that way. But if they would have had, you know, that. That moment to collectively like, you know, one. Patience to like it. It’s not about you. It wasn’t to offend you or stop you from doing what you. You needed to do or whatever the case may be. So. But then she was still able to leave out of that. Just kind of brushing it off and not had. She had tools to. So that she wasn’t internalizing it previously.
Amy Stone [00:35:19]:
Yeah, no, it’s. It’s an interesting. It’s an interesting thing. Traffic brings out things in all of this. But, you know, in traffic during. I remember during lockdown, I was there was in some conversation, and somebody was making fun of a person. They’re like, I don’t understand. These people are wearing masks inside their cars. And. And I was like, part of it, it was just a casual conversation. And I was like, I just sort of figure, I don’t know what happened before that. Like, maybe they are giving somebody a ride and somebody else was in the car. Or I was like. And I was like. Or they just forgot. Like, maybe they had their mask on. Like. And you know, it’s just, it’s just one of those things. Like, I was like, I was in that frame of mind where I was like, I just assumed that I don’t know what was happening at the same. Which if you’d caught me in a different mood, I would have been in a different place completely. On the flip side, one of my favorite stories about that this is I was running by myself on a sidewalk with no one around me, right? I was like, paused at a traffic circle at an intersection. There’s no one around me. A car goes by me in the street and the people in the car like, yell at me that I should be wearing a mask. And I mean, it was like a flash of a second because they like, you know, drove by and for, for all intents purposes, these could have been kids that were like, just giving me a hard time, which would make as much sen as anything else. But I was like standing there experiencing this. I’m like, I don’t even understand what I’m supposed to do with this. Like, what it means. Like, why do you care? I’m by myself. Like, I don’t even, you know, I don’t get it, you know. And then, and then I went on with my day, wondering what was wrong with the world and all the people in it. Okay. So you become focused on the impact of collective stress on you and on the tools you use. And you begin to work on, or you are already working somewhere. You become working on some somatic tools. So I think somatic is a super fun word. But every time I have a guest on that talks about somatic, I always like to give the person we’re talking to a chance to explain what it is that we’re talking about here. So go ahead and define what we’re talking about when we talk about somatic tools and what you mean when you talk about somatic PR practices to release tension, which is one of the things you help people with.
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:37:24]:
Yeah, it’s about mind, body awareness, using breath, work, meditation and movement to really heal the body, come to. To peace, mentally bringing clarity and to really to relieve that stress, anxiety. Built up tension and having awareness of where you’re carrying it within yourself. And so we’re reminded that, you know, our mental health isn’t just within our mind, but it’s carried within parts of our body. So if you’re in an argument with somebody, maybe you might feel the tension in your shoulders or maybe your hands start cramping, things of that nature. And even after those moments, you still carry that tension physically within you. And so it allows you opportunities to relieve the stress and embodiment of that tension from within you.
Amy Stone [00:38:31]:
That’s a great definition. So why would you say that this work is important to you?
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:38:39]:
Yeah. So, like, we were talking about all the layers and things building up, especially with the grief and the loss, the struggles in my relationships. I was embodying that, you know, the. The stress in terms of the lack of time. You know, a lot of that I created for myself. But it was patterns that I put myself in that I didn’t realize I was doing and didn’t know how to get out of. And it wasn’t until I found that practice, as well as the practice of hypnotherapy, where I was really able to rest, you know, relieve my mind of all the stress and worries that I was under, you know, between, you know, my business and raising kids and relationship. It provided the mental clarity that I needed to start to let go, to realize, you know, I took on, for example. Example, the. The yoga instructor took this on as a way to help myself, at least at the time. You know, not just being able to teach others, but strengthen my yoga practice as well as strengthen my mind and body. But it became something more in terms of giving back to others, time consumption, you know, this kind of constant back and forth, you know, from home to studio. And I’ve created these kind of obligations, like, well, they need me. Or, you know, I also needed it. But the practice allowed me to realize, like, you can let go of that. This is not something you have to do, and you can do it in other ways without consuming your time.
Amy Stone [00:40:40]:
Yeah. So was there a little bit of you that was maybe avoiding the stillness and quiet to, like, do the soul searching? This is. You can say no, and you can say, I mean, I don’t have any idea what the answer would be, but there have been seasons in my life where there’s so much going on, but I will, like, manufacture stuff to do because then I don’t think about the big questions.
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:41:01]:
I don’t know if I was necessarily avoiding it, maybe subconsciously, but I think I just had so much going on that I didn’t know how to take the time. And it wasn’t until I spoke to somebody else. It was another coach for my business. And she used a statement. She’s like, you know, the money will come. Like, you can let go of the things. I was also. I’m in a sorority in a graduate chapter, and I was just doing all the things for the. The chapter as well. She’s like, you have to let go of something. And it was that comment, like, the money will come. Like you. She’s. You’re putting in the work. It’ll. It’ll come. You can read.
Amy Stone [00:41:49]:
Like, were you like, are you sure? Right. I’m gonna ask for a receipt.
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:41:54]:
It took a lot of soul searching. Like, that statement, it resonated with me. Not. But not that immediately. I wasn’t like, you know what? You’re right. I really went. It was that. That made me go down this kind of rabbit hole of, you know, really digging into the somatic exercise. You know, it’s doing all these Google searches. That’s when I learned about the hypnotherapy, because it was that statement that was like, all right, this is more of, like, a subconscious manifestation type statement. Where does that come from? And that’s how I. I fell into the hypnotherapy aspect. And that really is what helped me change my mindset, that practice. And that’s when I was like, you know, I need to get certified and learn, because there’s so many people that I know that struggle with this, the grief. You know, it was also in that time, I. We lost my. One of my uncles, my dad’s brother. When I was learning all this. Like, I have family members that are going through what I just went through, and this really helped me, and I need to learn it so I can help them too.
Amy Stone [00:43:08]:
That’s really. That’s really. That’s. That’s very. That’s very nice. I will say that for myself personally, it was grief that I. Like, I believed this statement and I thought I understood it about the mind body connection, but it was. It was grief after the loss of my father that really drove it home. Like how. Like, it’s the first time I really felt it. I was like, oh, these emotions are showing up in my body. Like, oh, look at that. So that was where. So I think that. And, you know, I would always hope that you could learn. I could learn that lesson with a less painful experience. But I will say that for me, that was where it was okay, so in a minute, we’re going to do the final questions, but I want to give you a chance to tell people about what you do and how you want them to follow up with you online after the interview.
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:43:53]:
Interview, yeah. In short, I help busy professionals reduce stress, relieve pain, and heal from trauma. And so through the acts of the somatic exercise and hypnotherapy, I work with individuals in my coaching program to help them create consistent daily practices to do those things.
Amy Stone [00:44:19]:
Excellent. All right, very good. So you have given us a special offer for the audience which is a free ebook on somatic exercise made simple. And there is a link in the show notes which has lots of letters and numbers in it, so definitely check it out in that spot. The easiest way to get the links and get all the free stuff that comes from the fabulous guests of the show is to be a subscriber at the Art of Imperfect Adulting. Email is list. That way I zip it to you straight in your email box and it can. You can just click on it and redeem the free things. That is a wonderful, generous offer. Tell us what, do you have a website that you like people to Visit?
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:44:57]:
Yes, it’s DrDanielle, Griff.com and Dr. With a doctor.
Amy Stone [00:45:02]:
Okay, very good. And I’ll put that link in there, too. All right, Dr. Danielle Griffin, are you ready for the final three questions? The fun questions?
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:45:11]:
Yeah.
Amy Stone [00:45:12]:
All right. I love these. Okay, very good. Okay, so do you have anything that you would consider for yourself a guilty pleasure? And are you willing to share one of those things with us here on the show today?
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:45:26]:
Oh, gosh, guilty pleasure. I mean, I’ve always had a sweet tooth, so pretty much anything. Well, maybe not anything sweet, but, you know, ice cream, you know, cakes, probably my weakness. I think I get it from my dad, but there you go.
Amy Stone [00:45:48]:
So sweet treats. We’ll call that your indulgences. All right, here we go. What does aging gracefully mean to you?
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:46:01]:
So one thing I talk about in my. My TEDX talk is, you know, how in the pandemic, my eyebrows were starting to turn gray. You know, all the stress that I was going through had what, you know, in our community, we say our, my black don’t crack. And I was saying my. My black was starting to crack. And so when my. I can look younger than what most people think I am, you know, culturally speaking, probably, you know what I would say aging gracefully is, but, you know, just being, you know, feeling youthful, you know, being able to keep up with my kids and not feel tired and drained.
Amy Stone [00:46:56]:
Yeah.
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:46:57]:
You know, being able to move in ways that. That feels good to me without feeling like I’m going to strain my back or whatever the case may be, which is, you know, ultimately the main reason why I continue to practice the somatic exercise consistently.
Amy Stone [00:47:14]:
Very nice. I do. I remember when the first time I heard that the black don’t crack, and I was like, wait a minute. Seems. Seems like that’s a good deal. Like so. And I was young then. Now, like, you know, I say, I tell people, I’m like, I’m 51. I have the crow’s feet and the wisdom highlights to show it. You know, it’s like I would like to sign up for not so much that I’m like, going to undergo mass changes to my skin, but it is, it is sometimes hard to reconcile with the, with the mirror as we age. So I think back. I think back to, like, if I had been born in like a. Before mirrors, which I don’t even know how long ago that was, you just wouldn’t even know that you had reaction wrinkles. You wouldn’t know what you even looked like.
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:47:58]:
Right. What’s. What’s the measure of age at that point?
Amy Stone [00:48:01]:
Right, Exactly. Exactly. All right, so when, when you take vacations these days with two kids and, and a family, do you prefer to travel a long way to an exciting and exotic location or as your favorite kind of vacation, one where you stay close to home?
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:48:19]:
Well, working in the travel industry, I’m always like, let’s go anywhere but home.
Amy Stone [00:48:26]:
All right, that makes that, that makes sense. And that, that makes a lot of sense. That’s very, very cool. Do you have a fun trip planned coming up, like sometime this year, like something fun with everybody or yourself?
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:48:39]:
Well, my husband and I are doing our 18th anniversary in Cancun, which we go quite frequently. It’s probably, you know, for us here in Houston, you know, with the flights and we love Mexico in general, so it’s pretty regularly on our, our travel schedule. My older son, he plays travel lacrosse, so we’re usually doing travel for that as well. But we’ve been looking into other family trips as well. At the end of the year, we were considering Universal Studios in Orlando maybe around the holidays. So we haven’t fully landed on anything just yet.
Amy Stone [00:49:22]:
Very cool. We. I also love. So we go the other way across the Gulf, because I’m in Florida, but it’s such an easy flight down to Mexico, and it’s really. I mean, it feels like a full tropical vacation. But I remember one time I mean, in from Texas, I think it’s so close. Some people have like, vacation accondos. They’ll go for like a day or two. It’s like such a short flight. Flight. So that’s. That’s fantastic. I have not been. We used to love Tulum before. This is really. Before it got like, as. I mean, it’s always been. It’s always been great, but it got very expensive several years ago. Like, it got super expensive. And now the parent. I’ve heard that there’s a new airport and a new train that goes straight to Tulum and I don’t know, like, all these things. It’s very, very exciting. Maybe it’ll be better. I haven’t been back. I think it’s fantastic. But I love. I’m a big fan. I’m a big fan. We come in, it’s like so, you know, it’s like you just come in and you’ve got the Mexican blue water and just. Yes, it’s. It’s great. It’s great. And you take the. Yes, no, 100%. That’s it. Dr. Danielle Griffin, thank you so much for being a wonderful guest today on the show.
Dr. Danielle Griffin [00:50:24]:
Thanks again for having me. Appreciate it.