The Challenge of Decision-Making in the Face of Health Adversity

Amy Stone [00:00:04]:
Welcome to the art of imperfect adulting.

Pooja Bakhai [00:00:07]:
Thanks, Amy.

Amy Stone [00:00:08]:
I’m so glad you’re here. Are you ready for a chat?

Pooja Bakhai [00:00:11]:
Thank you for having me.

Amy Stone [00:00:12]:
Yeah, of course. So I start almost all of my interviews by asking people where they are. So do you mind sharing with us where on this world planet you’re talking to me from today?

Pooja Bakhai [00:00:24]:
Sure. I’m in Raleigh, North Carolina.

Amy Stone [00:00:27]:
Very nice. And you’re wearing a jacket. It looks like it’s cold. And rally today. I’m further south than you. But we’re also. We had a little bit of a chill in the air today, so we are recording this in February. It’s cold. All right, before we dig into the topic of the day, I would love to get to know you a little bit better. Can you tell us a little bit about yourself outside of work? Maybe some of the important people in your life, what you do for hobbies, and anything you want to share that’s just a little bit about you as a person?

Pooja Bakhai [00:00:57]:
Sure. Let’s see. I’m currently married. Recently married. Congratulations to. Thank you. The love of my life. One of the loves of my life. And we have a dog who Matthew, the name of my husband. He rescued our. Our pup from Ecuador. And I actually met Matthew and Yema, our dog, in Ecuador. And maybe the listeners will get to hear a little bit about that during our chat today. But, yeah, I’m just so grateful to have had the experience of traveling the world with them and to have landed here and building a home and enjoying the daily simplicities of life together.

Amy Stone [00:01:46]:
That is spectacular. I love Ecuador. I think it’s a great place. So that is very cool. Okay, so now we’re going to get to the topic that you proposed for the day, which is how your life changed when you got what is really a pretty significant health diagnosis when you were only 29 years old. Does that sound like something worth talking about?

Pooja Bakhai [00:02:08]:
I think so.

Amy Stone [00:02:09]:
I think so, too. All right, let’s begin by telling people a little bit about what your life was like when you were 29. What was going on for you? You. Before all this happened, I was very.

Pooja Bakhai [00:02:22]:
Different than I am now. I was living in Boston. Well, specifically Cambridge, Massachusetts. And I was a PhD student at Harvard University. So I was basically just working my ass off in class. Teaching. I was teaching some classes. I was actually studying how teachers of color navigate, like, institutions serving in their schools and how they navigate the policies there to best meet the needs of their students. And I came to all that because I was a teacher myself. Okay. So, yeah, that’s a little grounding for.

Amy Stone [00:03:03]:
Very good diagnosis, pre diagnosis. And let’s put it a little bit in a timeline. How long ago was that? Or, like, how far back was that?

Pooja Bakhai [00:03:14]:
That was in 2019.

Amy Stone [00:03:15]:

2019. Okay. So to put it a little bit of time. So you were doing your PhD program and you had already been a teacher. I was curious about that. What I wanted to talk about there was how long had you been thinking about that career path? Like, how invested were you? I mean, nobody just falls into a doctoral program at Harvard. So my guess is that this was something that you had put a lot of time and. And energy into getting to that point. But talk to us about how long you’d had this dream of finishing that degree.

Pooja Bakhai [00:03:47]:
Well, I gotta be totally honest with you.

Amy Stone [00:03:50]:
Okay.

Pooja Bakhai [00:03:50]:
I would say my path in academia was something like, I went to Stanford for undergraduate, and I was like, valedictorian of my high school class. So that, like, my path in academia was definitely something I had been working towards for a very long time, since I was probably a kid. And. And no, not probably, but since I was a kid. And I would say with the doctorate specifically, this was a really interesting case because while I feel like so many of my peers and most people who did end up in the program had perhaps been working towards it as a goal for a long time, I always tried to plan out my life, but it really never seemed to work out for me. Like, in my undergraduate, I was studying to become a doctor of medicine. And then I decided I. I didn’t want to go to medical school. And I ended up working. Like, I got a postgraduate fellowship to work in public service. I ended up choosing UN women. So I worked there for a year, and then I just went on another adventure. And I was a community organizer. I lived in India. I worked with a nonprofit there. And I came back, and that’s when I started teaching. Because service was really the through line for me. From the jump. That was sort of like my North Star. And I was just trying to find a place for me, Pooja, to help people in a way that felt good, in a way that felt exciting, empowering, inspiring for me, and real, where I felt like it was genuine change that I was seeing, not just for myself. I mean, not just for, like, the people that I was connecting with, but also like something that I felt from within. Felt connected to from within. So, yeah, that’s how teaching was born. And I ended up teaching. What I was teaching was biology. So I used my undergraduate degree in biology to Teach. And while I was teaching, I was just having some amazing, amazing moments and building amazing relationships and just noticing so many things about the schools that I was working in. And not just the ones I was working in, but really a lot of different types of schools because I, I got around. I was in a lot of professional development programs, I would talk to a lot of teachers working in different environments. And I always wanted to be a mom too. So I was just really curious about like what is going on here in schools. And it was a different perspective for me when I was a teacher than when I was a student. And I wasn’t really thinking about the system and how it was affecting young people more broadly. So, so when I was a teacher I was basically just like, I came to this moment where I was just very. Feeling very like suffocated is the best word I can put it. Put, put to it, working in schools. And I was aware of a lot of the policies and the systems that were governing what we could and couldn’t do in our classrooms as teachers. And also just, you know, just simple things like my students had to walk through a metal detector to get to, to get to learn, you know, to learn. And it was just sad. It started feeling like a prison. And I was like, there has to be something out there that’s, that feels and is more liberating, more empowering, more fun. Like there’s gotta be a better way to do this. And so yeah, that’s like what brought me to the PhD. And I think I was a really unique case because I hadn’t done like a master, a research based master’s or anything. But yeah, it’s a long story, but I figured why not share it?

Amy Stone [00:07:35]:
No, I think, and I love the, I love that I was wrong because I didn’t know how you ended up there. And even when you started telling that when you started and you said I was originally studying in an MD program or pre MD program, that would not have been as surprising to me. Like, so that’s sort of what I was. But I think that that’s a really powerful story and it’s actually really important. Can I clarify, what level were you teaching? Biology. Was it high school? High school, yes. So. And I think there’s a lot of stuff in there, so I can see the through line of service because that is what pushes some people into the idea of medicine. I think you were an early adopter, that you were empowered to make that decision before you were like a resident. Because I’ve met a lot of People who get all the way through and. And they’re like, yeah, no, I don’t really actually want to do this. And then you’ve got, you know, you’re finished. It’s harder to retool at that point. And so then to back off and do the other things you did through the UN and through the other things. That does make sense. And teaching is a really unique thing. I’ve never been a teacher. I always thought that teaching looked like it was really, really hard. When I was a student, I was like, that looks hard. All of the. Everybody on my side is giving this person a hard time. I’m very confused by anybody would choose that as a profession, but I have, obviously, I know lots of people who did choose it as a profession who really love is a weird combination of service and skill. And it’s within its own system, which makes it, you know, it’s a really challenging thing. So when we talk about systemic changes, education’s a weird example because it is its own culture, for sure. Yeah. So that’s. Anyway, I went off on a tangent, but that I was curious about that to do that. So you’re 29 years old. You’ve got a pretty significant amount of life experience. You’ve already made some changes, and you’re clearly highly motivated, highly intelligent, you can get stuff done and maybe a little bit competitive since you’re choosing challenging academic programs. I don’t know if you would describe yourself as that. What was going on with your health that got you into the doctor’s office for an exam? Like. Like, tell us how this started.

Pooja Bakhai [00:09:57]:
You know, this is an interesting question too, because obviously the doctors asked me that. And back then, when I would walk into a doctor’s office and they would. Somebody would ask me, like, so what’s been going on? Like, and they would ask me not just about what brought me in that day, but my life, like, my health history. I’d be like, oh, yeah, I’ve been a healthy person. Like, you know, I’ve been good. Not. This is a new thing. You know, I just tell people, like, this is a new thing. And I mean, since then, I’ve, as. I’ve, you know, worked a lot on my health and had more time to reflect and process. I realized I’ve had, like, chronic health issues lead like that were leading up to this diagnosis since I was also a child, but they were so overlooked and just sort of made out to be nothing. And there was never any. Like, there were diagnoses, but there was really never any cure or Any. Any talk of, like, addressing the issues. So I just. I just sort of, like, pretended I had convinced myself that I was, like, healthy. And it wasn’t that hard to do because. I know this sounds crazy, but it did. It wasn’t hard to do because I was an athlet. I was running marathons, I was teaching yoga. And I felt like I was doing all the right things, putting right in quotes, like eating healthy and having a balanced life. Just stuff that I. Whatever I knew back then to do, I was doing it. And I was like, yeah, so I’m healthy and I’m good. But, yeah. So to answer your question, when I was a child or in my younger years, in my teens, even in my early 20s, I had things like acne, like cystic acne, IBS, like, really bad IBS, like, really bad digestive issues and bloating. And, like, sometimes I just wouldn’t even be able to eat because I was like. I had a lot of pain in my stomach. What else? Just, like, these. Asthma. I had asthma when I was a kid. I was diagnosed when I was, like, five.

Amy Stone [00:12:11]:
Okay.

Pooja Bakhai [00:12:12]:
So it sort of went away, I guess, but I would have, like, allergic reactions to things randomly. I went through a couple years where I couldn’t eat, like, a ton of foods. I had to cut out a lot of different foods. And so there was just like this. There was this undercurrent. But I was. I didn’t identify as somebody who had health issues. Like, I just would sort of try to deal with them and adapt and move on. Yeah.

Amy Stone [00:12:36]:
And it sounds like your. Your baseline of normal.

Pooja Bakhai [00:12:41]:
Yes.

Amy Stone [00:12:42]:
Was. You were used to it.

Pooja Bakhai [00:12:44]:
Exactly.

Amy Stone [00:12:45]:
You were used to it. And so that’s. That’s an interesting. That’s definitely some context. That’s some context. Right. So, for example. Yeah, absolutely. Okay, so then.

Pooja Bakhai [00:12:57]:
So then I have one more thing I just want to share with you, Kelly.

Amy Stone [00:13:00]:
Go for it. Go for it.

Pooja Bakhai [00:13:01]:
Because I know your question was, like, what brought me in that day?

Amy Stone [00:13:05]:
Yes. Like, what were you feeling? What were your symptoms?

Pooja Bakhai [00:13:08]:
And it was.

Amy Stone [00:13:09]:
Or was it a checkup?

Pooja Bakhai [00:13:11]:
No, it wasn’t a checkup. I had had a checkup, and it did have blood results that could have. That did point to this diagnosis, but they were just. They weren’t acknowledged either. Anyways, this was just. I went in because I had this cough that wouldn’t go away, and it wasn’t like the kind of cough you have when you’re sick, like when you have a cold or the flu or something like that. It was like a dry Cough. And I also had swelling on one side of my neck that wouldn’t go away. And that was definitely strange. Like, that’s something I have definitely never had before. And that’s what I had a partner at the time, my boyfriend at the time, he told me, like, pooja, this is not normal. This is not looking good. You got to get. You got to go in. I was like, fine. So that’s what brought me in.

Amy Stone [00:14:08]:
Okay, so.

Pooja Bakhai [00:14:11]:
And I was feeling like crap.

Amy Stone [00:14:12]:
And so you were pretty bad. You were feeling pretty bad. Okay, so if we, if we haven’t already talked about it, which we haven’t, do you want to share what the diagnosis was that you got? Like, what type of like. So go ahead and tell us. What, what, what was the news that you got after you. And it probably was not, I’m guessing it was not, like, immediate because that’s just not the way the medical system works. You rarely go in. And it’s not like ordering a hamburger where you’re either like, welcome, and here are your results.

Pooja Bakhai [00:14:42]:
You’re right about that. It was interesting because they ended up doing a chest X ray at my, like, at this exam. It was a student health, so it’s like a very basic, like, you know, like a, like a checkup sort of environment where I went in and yeah, they, they requested a chest X ray because I think the doctor, the resident, it was actually resident. Interesting. You were talking about resident. I got to see a resident because it was like a last minute appointment. That’s the only opening they had. And she requested this chest X ray because I think she suspected cancer.

Amy Stone [00:15:14]:
Really? Okay.

Pooja Bakhai [00:15:15]:
Yeah, because she did a full physical exam and I think she noticed that my lymph node was swollen here. And, and her. I don’t know, I think she just, like, was really good at deduction. She had done a good job, like, as a resident, and I was really, really happy about that because who knows if. If it was somebody else. Anyways, the chest X ray showed like a huge mass in my chest. It was extremely large and unavoidably obvious. Like, it was so obvious that they actually were like, were like almost 100% positive. Like, you have cancer. It’s probably lymphoma. That’s what it looks like from this X ray. But obviously you have to get a. What’s it called? Biopsy to check. So then when they did the biopsy, they confirmed it was. It was. The diagnosis was stage 4B lymphoma.

Amy Stone [00:16:09]:
All right, so I’m going to ask you this, which I Think if you’re not comfortable answering this, which I bet you you are actually from now that we’ve talked, but when I wrote the question, I wasn’t sure if you would be. Talk a little bit about for the people listening, what that combination of words means. Stage four. So it’s like hurricanes. It’s like we rank these illnesses in terms of stages. But what does stage four mean?

Pooja Bakhai [00:16:30]:
Yeah, it’s so wild. Yeah. There’s four stages, I guess, with cancer diagnoses, as far as I know.

Amy Stone [00:16:41]:
And that was what I found in my Googling. So I think that’s right.

Pooja Bakhai [00:16:44]:
Okay. I was like, I don’t know if that’s just for lymphoma or for every cancer, you know, but I figured, good, we’re on the same page. So, yeah, there’s. At least with lymphoma, there was four. There’s four stages, and stage four is the last stage. And then they actually group it into 4A and 4B. And they’re one of the big differentiation. Like, the differentiating line between 4a and 4b is whether the cancer has spread, at least in lymphoma, like, into the bone. If it’s spread into the bone, and that means it’s also below. Like, it’s also on the lower half of your body. For me, it was both. Like, I had it on the lower half of my body. It had spread into the bone, and. Which is such a weird thing for me to even, like, visualize now. But I saw it. I saw it on the scan, so I was able to see, like, how to really spread, like, throughout a lot of different parts of my body. And so, yeah, I got that 4B. And there are some other things that put you in the 4B category, like night sweats, which I was having a lot of. But of course, I didn’t think that it was, like, a symptom. I didn’t know.

Amy Stone [00:17:51]:
Well, you know, it can be night sweats can be anything. Too much spicy food. Exactly. Right. Too much red wine. You’re in menopause. There’s a long list of things that’ll cause night sweats. So, yeah, the. So you weren’t feeling good, but you were also young, and you were, as you tell it, you were leading a life. That sounds really. I mean, for somebody who’s 29, very healthy, you’re moving your body. You were running marathons. You were following the instructions that, you know, you were following the instructions. So what went through. Tell. You can in. In a. Like, I don’t want to make this Like a dramatic question. But when you think back to that time, if you had to pick, like, three to five words to sort of describe your experience and your feeling state, when they come back and say, this is. This is stage four lymphoma, like, what. What would. What would those words be?

Pooja Bakhai [00:18:49]:
Great question. I would say shocked, relieved, confused, scared. And this is a really strange one, and I don’t know why it’s coming to me, but I have to say it because it came to me twice, and I didn’t say it the first time. And I would say excited.

Amy Stone [00:19:18]:
So that’s really interesting. Do you think that’s because it was answering some of it was closing some loops for things that you had been experiencing. So it’s like you had this undercurrent of experience that was not being acknowledged in your life. The ibs, the not feeling good, the swelling. And so, I mean, I’ve heard other people say this. It’s like, initially the diagnosis, even though it’s really scary, it closes some loops and it feels like relief, and it’s like, now we can get to work.

Pooja Bakhai [00:19:44]:
Exactly.

Amy Stone [00:19:45]:
Yeah. That was really a great answer, and I want to thank you for sharing that with us. So you shared with me on the intake form that this turns your approach to life on its head, which means upside down. Right. And so what are some of the things, some of the immediate, concrete changes that happened in your life when you. When you went through this?

Pooja Bakhai [00:20:14]:
The first thing was like, it really, like, my whole life I had been, like, working towards something, right? Like something external and internal, but always working towards something like climbing some sort of ladder or reaching for the stars or whatever you want to call it. That’s how it had felt for me. And when I got the diagnosis, it was just like something that just brought me entirely into this present. Into the present moment. It was just like, that doesn’t matter. That doesn’t matter. That doesn’t matter. Like, none of this matters if you die. So you can, like, you can worry about all this other future stuff. You can work towards things all you want, but right now, it just felt like the universe was asking me to just be present with what was happening in that moment. So, yeah, that was one of the biggest shifts, was just, like, really reigning it in. Like, all of that energy just really reigning it in and going inwards with it, really just sitting with myself. I started. I had been going to meditation here and there, but I started spending way more time. There’s a. There was a Buddhist meditation center in my neighborhood that was walking Distance. And it was just like, a quiet space where you could go and sit, and there were books and a lot of silent meditation. Like, just walk ins. You could just go in and sit for an hour and leave. And so I would just spend a lot of time there. Almost every day, I feel like I would go there and just sit and just be present. Wow. Yeah. That was one of the biggest things. And I would say that was the foundation or, like, that opened up this conversation between me and, like, whatever you want to call it, higher self, God, the universe. Like, I just started talking to it because I didn’t know what else to do, because nobody I knew had ever had cancer. Nobody I knew personally. I had. I knew. I knew some people, but they were already dead.

Amy Stone [00:22:39]:
Sure. Because you were young.

Pooja Bakhai [00:22:41]:
I was young, exactly. Yeah. So it just kind of felt like all of a sudden, I was in my own world, and I just let myself, like, be in that space.

Amy Stone [00:22:55]:
That’s amazing. And also, I think you did decide to not finish this degree, so you pivoted. And so I think that that’s a. I’m gonna. I’m gonna lead you there. That’s. I just. Like, we did make that change. We were like, yeah, enough of this. Something else is gonna happen. So I’m gonna admit that as a person, I fall into the category of people who believe, who feel that cancer is scary. I’m older than you are, so I know people who’ve lost the battle of cancer. Um, I know people who have lost people they love to different types of this disease, and also people who are living with it, like, either in treatment or in remission. Is it okay if, before we go on, if I ask you where you are in this process, your health now?

Pooja Bakhai [00:23:36]:
Yes. I’m. I’m. I call myself cured. I know the doctors wouldn’t necessarily say cured. They would say in remission. I don’t know for how long they would say that, but I’ve been cured since 2019, actually.

Amy Stone [00:23:51]:
Okay. So. And did you engage in, like, a traditional western course of treatment? Did you go through all of the things that they do? You did a biopsy? Yep. Okay.

Pooja Bakhai [00:24:01]:
I didn’t want to, but I did.

Amy Stone [00:24:04]:
You know, I. I think that it is. I don’t know. I don’t even know what I mean. I know people who look at it, and it’s one of those things. It’s just like. It’s. You know, you got to look at the decisions and make whatever the best decision it is for you. Ye. But the treatments are. They do not look, as an outsider, they do not look like they’re enjoyable. And unfortunately, they don’t come with a guarantee.

Pooja Bakhai [00:24:27]:
Exactly right.

Amy Stone [00:24:29]:
That is some scary stuff. That is some scary stuff. Let’s talk about support. Okay, so I’m going to guess that when you say I’m dropping out of college at Harvard, my PhD program, maybe a few people in your family were like, I don’t know, Pooja. But anyway, who did you have around you for support when you were getting this diagnosis and making these decisions?

Pooja Bakhai [00:24:54]:
So I told you, like, I would go and sit and the. I felt like this, this might sound radical. It probably does sound weird to some people for sure. But I felt like this cancer, like, because I was sitting so much with myself, I felt like I could. I felt like it came for a reason. And I felt like it was telling me things like, that’s why, like, you need to stop what you’re doing and you need. You’re going to be fine. You’re not going to die. You need to redirect, like, you’re not on the right path for you. That’s the message that I felt in my body when I sat with cancer. Which is why I ultimately, yes, decided to drop out of my program. And more immediately, before I made the decision to drop out more immediately, I just, like, shut it all down. I was like, I just told him, like, I have stage 4B. I’m just not going to be coming to class. I’m not going to be doing these things right now.

Amy Stone [00:26:00]:
My priorities have shifted. It’s like, bye, I will not be there for office hours.

Pooja Bakhai [00:26:07]:
So I just completely focused on myself and just let myself. I had never done that before actually in my life is just taken a complete. Just an opt out of everything and just putting myself first. But I really gave myself permission to do that. And yes, ultimately I dropped out. And you asked for support about support. And the thing is, when I dropped out, I had been cleared of the cancer.

Amy Stone [00:26:35]:
Okay.

Pooja Bakhai [00:26:35]:
When I officially. When I officially dropped out and I decided to move from Boston to San Diego, like right before that. And yeah, my family, they were mostly up in arms because they were just like, you’re. You’re cured. Like, what’s the problem? Like, shouldn’t you be happy that you’re cured and shouldn’t you just go about your life as it was before? But, like, I could, I could sit down with people for days and talk about the realizations and the experience I had during that time when I was living with it, the types of conversations I had with other People who had really late stage diagnoses. I met so many like amazing people living with cancer at that time. And it’s such an intense environment, just like being in the hospital all the time, it’s just, it’s so heavy and also very confronting. And I just so much changed, so much more than I can explain even on this, you know, podcast. And so, yeah, support was me, myself and I, when I moved to San Diego, I, I had a few good, good friends who lived in other parts of the states. Like old friends or you know, who were like, you know, you got this. Like you do you girl. Like, we don’t get it, but like, we’ll support you. You know, we don’t get it. We’ll support you. But the thing is, I met so many new people along the way that I call like Earth angels because they’re these new people I was meeting. They were just there, they were teaching me new things. They were showing me, oh, you, this isn’t weird. Like people, I live my life this way or whatever, you know.

Amy Stone [00:28:23]:
Yeah.

Pooja Bakhai [00:28:23]:
And so I met a lot of new people, but I did let go of a lot of people during this time as well. Or like a lot of people also fellow fell away.

Amy Stone [00:28:32]:
Well, it sounds like it was a very intense time and it required a lot of focus and that’s. That does happen. So there’s a part two of the support question, which is when you think back, it sounds like if I was as an outsider, it sounds like you did an excellent job of creating a new support network as you went through this. And so then there’s a part two of this question, which is now that you’re through it, you’re on the other side. If you were to look back and say the support that would have been very helpful for me would have been this. And this is not to judge what your experience is, but if there’s somebody out there that listens to this who is in a similar situation, it’s like if, if I could have found this, I think it would have been helpful.

Pooja Bakhai [00:29:12]:
Well, you know, it’s interesting because you just made me think about all these. That’s when I first started hiring coaches myself and working with different healers and different coaches and all of that because I really was like looking around my immediate community and realizing nobody had really navigated these waters that I was navigating and nobody really that could under understand this feeling I had that I was meant to do something completely different and go on some other journey. Go on some journey. You know, I was really at the beginning, that was a death, but it was the beginning of a. Of a long journey I took after that. And so, yeah, like, the coaches that I had, they really. And like the.

Amy Stone [00:29:55]:
The.

Pooja Bakhai [00:29:55]:
The healers, the coaches, they really held a lot of space for me. And while they may have not gone through the exact thing that I did, they really understood more of the waters that I was navigating, whether it was something spoken or unspoken. And I guess. Did you mean. Do you want something more specific?

Amy Stone [00:30:14]:
No, I think that’s support. I think that’s it. It’s like. So you. What would. You found it. But what was helpful is having people who met you, where you were in the journey and could stand by you while you were going through the experience you were having as opposed to. Yeah. So is that okay?

Pooja Bakhai [00:30:32]:
Yeah, I have one more. One more thing.

Amy Stone [00:30:34]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Pooja Bakhai [00:30:36]:
There’s something about, like, death and grief and other emotions that might come up when death comes to our doorstep.

Amy Stone [00:30:50]:
Right? Anticipatory grief. Yeah.

Pooja Bakhai [00:30:52]:
Yeah, that. And also the grief of just, let’s say, because I changed so much and in ways I wasn’t really even ready to explain at that point or could necessarily put into words. There was a lot of grief around. Just. There’s so much grief. I mean, the people that I had lost along the way, my own self that has my own old identity. I didn’t really care for things like Harvard or the. I didn’t really care for all the things I used to care about. Like, there’s. There were so many things that changed and. Yeah. So anyways, somebody who could meet me in those emotions and who wasn’t afraid of sort of going deep on some of those topics, that was. That was also essential for me.

Amy Stone [00:31:42]:
I can see that. I can absolutely see that. And I’m glad that you found those. Okay, so in a minute, we’re going to do the final questions. But this was an enormous change. And sometimes, you know, I talk to people about small changes. This is obviously very dramatic. It’s not easy, it’s not hard at all to understand how somebody would look at what you went through and be. It would make a profound impact on their life. Tell people about what you do now and how they can find you online. So, like, what. What. Tell us about your business, what you do, how you shifted where you are today and how they can find you online.

Pooja Bakhai [00:32:18]:
Okay. The short story is after I’m short story. This could be. I’m actually sharing this story on stage next week.

Amy Stone [00:32:29]:
Okay.

Pooja Bakhai [00:32:29]:
For the first time. So I’m excited. Yeah. It’s, it’s going to be both the, it’s, it’s all the way from where we started, you and I, to where we’re now ending. And the short, short version is after I moved out to San Diego, I was really on this mission to follow my heart and let go of like overthinking people, pleasing all of these themes. There are so many that, that were from this past version of me. And so I was on a very intuitive journey and that sent me to a lot of different places. So. And the intention behind this journey was really my own healing. I think I still had a lot of questions even though the cancer went away. I had a lot of questions about like, what was going on with my body all those years. And I felt like there was something deeper underneath some of these physical symptoms and I wanted to heal and I wanted to also just experience life and just, just, just trust myself and just, just live. So there was this dual thing. But yeah, I went to Mexico first and then I, I actually was sent guided to the Amazon Rainforest and that’s where I met my partner, my now partner and did a lot of healing work there and ended up living there later a couple years, a year later. Yeah. And so during all this time, like my business and my work and my services, they were really evolving pretty, pretty quickly. Like, and, and with me, as I was evolving and learning and integrating, they were evolving. And so I started my life coaching business five, five years ago. What is it? 20, 25? Yeah, five years ago. Pretty like around the time I quit my, my program. And I was so excited when I started it because I was like, I’ve always wanted to do this because I really had, and I hadn’t had the words for it because I don’t think life coaching existed when I was like a child. But it’s not a great description.

Amy Stone [00:34:35]:
It’s not, it’s like a set of words that we use that just is like, like a holding container that can mean so many different things. Terrible description. But you use it anyway. Yeah, I just, I’m trying. I would love to have been a fly on the wall in your parents living room when they were like, like you drop out of your PhD program, you survive cancer and now you’re going to be a life coach. I, I bet that if I write a movie, there will be a, there will be a skit that will be a skit.

Pooja Bakhai [00:35:06]:
Yeah, it’s, it’s funny for sure. And, and yeah, there’s a lot more you and I could talk about. Maybe we’ll have to do another one of these because there’s a lot more twists, but I can’t share them now. So anyways, what I do now, I call myself an authenticity coach, which I like because it is a little bit more specific than a life coach. And I basically work with people who have checked off a lot of their boxes that society or modern society might ask us to or have programmed us to and are. They’re ready. They’re not feeling fulfilled with their life and they’re ready to make a change. Whether that’s healing their relationship with money, whether it’s, you know, following their heart and going on a wild adventure like I did, to find a love of their life, whether it’s, you know, creating the space for them to step into their gifts and their talents and share them in a way that makes them feel energized and fulfilled. Whatever it is, you know, we. We work. We work in that space. So it’s a gift, this work. And I’m an intuitive healer as well, so I integrate in my coaching programs, I integrate. I’m a psychic medium, so I integrate intuitive readings whenever they feel like the right time for that, and also healing work with some plants. So it’s all. It’s all integrated into my program. But. But yeah, that’s what I do now.

Amy Stone [00:36:42]:
That’s amazing. All right, and so do you have a website or. I know you gave me a link, which is a group of. So I’ll put that in there. But do you have a website? Do you want to shout out?

Pooja Bakhai [00:36:52]:
Sure. My website’s pooja bakai.com and.

Amy Stone [00:36:56]:
Yeah, exactly. And I will put the link in so that everybody will have that. You have a fantastic offer for the audience, which is a booking a free session, which has a $500 value, which is an amazing offer. So there’s a link in the show notes and also in the email that goes to the subscribers@imperfectadulting.com it’s the best way to get those links is to be on that email list. So do that. Thank you for sharing that very generous gift with the audience. That is very, very nice. All right, so now, fun times. I’m going to ask you three questions not at all related to cancer or any of the things we talked about today, just for fun. All right, Are you ready?

Pooja Bakhai [00:37:35]:
Yeah.

Amy Stone [00:37:36]:
All right. I love that you said that you spent time in Ecuador, because I’m gonna. I did not know that when. I never know what people are going to say when I write the questions because I write them in advance. And it totally entertains me when they line up. What if you had to pick a favorite fruit? What would you choose?

Pooja Bakhai [00:37:52]:
Oh, man. Well, the first. There’s so many good fruits. The first one since you mentioned Ecuador was my. One of my favorite fruits in Ecuador, which is called a granadilla.

Amy Stone [00:38:02]:
Okay.

Pooja Bakhai [00:38:03]:
Really? Do you know what it is?

Amy Stone [00:38:04]:
I think so. It’s with the. Is that the little lime seeds? Yes, that’s the.

Pooja Bakhai [00:38:08]:
Oh, no.

Amy Stone [00:38:09]:
Passion fruit.

Pooja Bakhai [00:38:10]:
It’s like a passion fruit, but it’s sweet.

Amy Stone [00:38:13]:
Okay. Yes.

Pooja Bakhai [00:38:13]:
Only sweet. But. Yeah. I would also have to throw mangoes in there because my home land, India. I mean, the most delicious mangoes to die for, and that’s it. I know these are good.

Amy Stone [00:38:26]:
No, but that. So the time that I went to Ecuador, I loved it because every day there were fresh fruits, and I would ask them what they were, and they would give me the Spanish name for the fruit, and I would not know ever what necessarily it meant. And I was in my mind.

Pooja Bakhai [00:38:39]:
One more.

Amy Stone [00:38:39]:
Okay, go for it.

Pooja Bakhai [00:38:41]:
Did you try Pattaya when you were there?

Amy Stone [00:38:44]:
I don’t know. What is it like?

Pooja Bakhai [00:38:45]:
It’s a dragon fruit.

Amy Stone [00:38:46]:
Oh, yeah. So dragon fruit I love, but only when I’m in Central and South America, because if I buy it in Miami, it doesn’t flavor.

Pooja Bakhai [00:38:56]:
Yeah. There’s no flavor in Costa Rica.

Amy Stone [00:38:59]:
In any place. You can just scoop it out and it’s so delicious. Really spectacular. Really spectacular. And we. So I have never had. I’ve never been to India, so I’ve never had Indian mangoes. But it’s like, people are so fiercely protective of their specific mangoes.

Pooja Bakhai [00:39:16]:
Exactly.

Amy Stone [00:39:18]:
And so here in Miami, we do the green mangoes with Tajin on them, you know, so like. But. And also the sweet mangoes. Anyway, there’s a lot of. Mango is a whole thing. I love it that way. Okay, very good. All right. Do you have a favorite board game that you like to play with friends or family? Ooh.

Pooja Bakhai [00:39:39]:
Not at the moment. But I would have to say, if I had to pick right now, I would say Taboo.

Amy Stone [00:39:46]:
Okay. Oh, that is a fun game. I haven’t played that in a really long time. That is a really fun game. Okay, very good. I’d forgotten about that. Okay, very good. If you travel, which I didn’t know if you traveled or not when I wrote these. Do you prefer to drive, fly, go on a boat, or take a train? What would be your preference?

Pooja Bakhai [00:40:01]:
Ooh, I’ve done so much flying in my day and my time here on Earth, and right now I’m in a driving season. So I’m going to go for boat because I have not traveled by boat before and I would love to do that.

Amy Stone [00:40:16]:
That is so good. That’s it. Pooja, thank you so much for being an amazing guest on the show.

Pooja Bakhai [00:40:21]:
Thank you.