Victoria Carrington Chavez was living the American Dream at 35. She had a stable teaching career, a 401k, an engagement ring, and all the markers society told her meant success. Yet every Friday afternoon, she found herself sitting under a weighted blanket, sometimes crying, unable to do much besides binge-watch television shows. She was checking off all the right boxes, but the life she was living didn’t feel like her own.
“I was thoroughly convinced that I was happy,” Victoria said. “I realized, like, every morning I would have to, like, hype myself up and, like, do the pep talk of, like, you’re happy. Like, play this happy character.”
The disconnect between her outward success and inner fulfillment represents a common struggle many face when following prescribed life paths rather than authoring their own stories. Victoria’s journey from living as a side character in someone else’s narrative to becoming the author of her own reveals how personal decision-making can fundamentally alter life trajectories.
When External Validation Replaces Internal Compass
Victoria’s experience illustrates how easily we can slip into living according to others’ definitions of success. At 35, she possessed everything that should have made her happy according to societal standards. Her professional life as a K-8 Spanish teacher provided stability and respect. Her personal life included an engagement and the promise of traditional milestones ahead.
But beneath the surface, warning signs emerged. She had stopped engaging in activities that once brought her joy, like hiking and creating art. The hobbies that connected her to her authentic self had been gradually abandoned in favor of maintaining the life she thought she should want.
“I wasn’t going into my favorite hobbies. Like, you know, I grew up in Colorado, avid hikers, wasn’t hiking, wasn’t even really walking,” Victoria said. “I’m not creating. And so I just thought, like, I feel like some people might also relate. Let me just make sure my partner is happy, and then I’ll be happy.”
This pattern of prioritizing others’ happiness over her own reflected a fundamental misunderstanding about where fulfillment originates. When we consistently place others’ needs, expectations, or definitions of success ahead of our own values and desires, we gradually lose touch with our authentic selves.
The Catalyst That Forces Choice
Sometimes life delivers wake-up calls in unexpected packages. For Victoria, that catalyst came in the form of discovering her fiancé’s infidelity – what she describes as “a plot twist of a telenovela variety.” While devastating, this betrayal became the off-ramp she needed to exit a life that wasn’t truly hers.
“I had a decision,” Victoria said. “And honestly, I think it was that window of opportunity, and many times the heartbreaks, the, you know, the layoffs, the redirections that feel so uncomfortable are those detours that are really those off ramps.”
The concept of becoming the “author” rather than the “main character” of your story represents a crucial distinction in personal empowerment. Being a main character often means reacting to circumstances and trying to perform well within existing structures. Becoming the author means taking deliberate control over the narrative direction.
“That’s what being a main character is. It’s not like, let me come and take center stage. It’s about taking my story, my values, and putting those things center stage in my life,” Victoria explained.
This shift requires moving beyond the desire to belong and please others toward a willingness to disappoint some people in service of honoring yourself. Victoria faced social pressure as she approached 40, with people asking when she would “settle down.” Instead of rushing back into the same pattern, she asked herself a different question.
From Reaction to Intentional Creation
The transformation from following others’ scripts to writing your own requires both internal work and external action. Victoria’s journey involved therapy, healing, and gradually building the courage to pursue dreams she had carried since adolescence.
One pivotal moment came when she decided to attend an entrepreneurial retreat in Mexico despite not having a current passport. With only seven weeks until the trip and passport processing times of seven weeks minimum, most people would have waited for the next opportunity. Instead, Victoria booked the non-refundable trip anyway.
“That’s where I think that shift from main character to author goes. And it says, I know what I want and I’m going to make it happen,” Victoria said. “And it’s like this. There’s something in that determination that I think reshapes so much around us.”
The passport arrived in one week, but the real victory was in the decision to bet on herself rather than waiting for perfect conditions. This represents a fundamental shift in decision-making – from seeking external permission to trusting internal conviction.
Victoria’s subsequent actions reflected this new authorship approach. She pursued speaking opportunities, eventually delivering a TEDx talk. She built a business around storytelling and content creation. Most significantly, she completed a seven-month solo cross-country road trip, fulfilling a dream she had carried since her teenage years.
Building Community Around Authentic Expression
One unexpected element of Victoria’s transformation involved using social media to document her journey and connect with others facing similar transitions. What began as “cringey content” about her breakup evolved into a platform for sharing authentic experiences and building genuine community.
“People would cheer me on. People would tell me their stories. They would tell me that they felt seen,” Victoria said. “There were women and men. There were some men, too, that were going through breakups, that were going through difficult transitions.”
This highlights an important aspect of choosing authenticity over conformity: it often creates space for others to do the same. When we stop performing happiness or success and start sharing real experiences, we give others permission to examine their own lives more honestly.
The community that formed around Victoria’s authentic sharing eventually led to professional opportunities, speaking engagements, and the business she runs today helping others identify and share their own stories.
Navigating the Response to Personal Reinvention
Choosing yourself over others’ expectations inevitably generates opinions and sometimes pushback. When Victoria announced her plans for a solo cross-country road trip, she encountered the predictable concerns and judgments that come with stepping outside conventional boundaries.
“When you start to, I think that that’s the beautiful thing about main character and even becoming the author in your story, you are going to find people with opinions,” Victoria said. “And you recognize the only one that matters is really yours.”
This phase requires developing resilience against well-meaning but ultimately limiting advice. People often project their own fears and limitations onto others’ dreams. Learning to distinguish between genuine safety concerns and fear-based resistance becomes essential for maintaining forward momentum.
Amy Stone captured this dynamic during their conversation: “Are you ready for a fun chat today?” The question acknowledges how choosing an unconventional path requires a certain lightness and willingness to engage with skeptics without letting their doubts derail your direction.
Victoria’s transformation from living someone else’s checklist to authoring her own adventure illustrates how personal decision-making can fundamentally shift life trajectories. The difference between being a main character and being an author lies in who controls the narrative direction. Main characters react and adapt within existing storylines. Authors decide what story gets told.
The journey requires both internal work to identify authentic desires and external courage to act on them despite others’ opinions. It often involves embracing uncertainty, taking calculated risks, and building community around shared values rather than shared conformity.
Most importantly, it demands recognizing that the cost of living others’ expectations often exceeds the discomfort of disappointing them. Victoria went from crying under weighted blankets to traveling 35,000 miles across four countries and 11 states, living what she calls her “Carmen San Diego life.” The woman looking back at her in photos today is, in her words, someone she finally recognizes as herself.
This article was inspired by an interview with Victoria Carrington Chavez and Amy Stone on The Art of Imperfect Adulting podcast. To hear more compelling conversations like this one and receive special offers from our guests directly to your inbox, join our email community today.
Interview Transcript Victoria Carrington Chavez with Amy Stone | The Art of Imperfect Adulting | September 23, 2025
Amy Stone [00:00:05]:
Victoria Carrington Chavez, welcome to the art of imperfect adulting. I’m happy you’re here. Are you ready for a fun chat today?
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:00:13]:
Absolutely. I’m so excited. Thank you for having me, Amy.
Amy Stone [00:00:17]:
Yay. All right, so I start all my interviews asking everybody what part of the world they call home. And I’ve been behind the scenes. A little peek behind the scenes. I’ve been like, not letting Victoria tell me this answer for the whole pre show chat. I was just like, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. So tell us where you are and where. Where you call home.
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:00:33]:
So where I call home. I’m a digital nomad, and so I’m living my best Carmen San Diego life. You might not know where in the world you’ll find me, but I can tell you where in the world you’ll find me. Today is actually in Dover, N.H. and a big shout out to Upright Acupuncture for giving me a beautiful space to record this podcast in my travels.
Amy Stone [00:00:54]:
That’s fantastic. Dover, New Hampshire. Okay. All right. Very, very cool. So. And you just gave a shout out to. I think you’re younger than me, but where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? San Diego. That’s like a. Do kids still play that?
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:01:07]:
I mean, I played it. Kids still know the character, but I definitely played it. It was one of my favorite games growing up. I watched the TV show.
Amy Stone [00:01:14]:
The TV show, Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:01:18]:
I mean, education, history, travel, those are all a few of my favorite things.
Amy Stone [00:01:25]:
Fantastic. All right. I love that. Okay, so that was an unplanned segue, but we’re going to get into your story for a second. My next warmup question is share with us something that is a compliment or a word of kindness that you have given somebody recently. It can be really small, but something that you’ve done to spread the love.
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:01:46]:
Yeah. So recently I started posting more on LinkedIn and really giving people shout outs when I see their creativity. And so there was a creator that she is crocheting a blanket every, like pieces of a blanket every single day that reflects her feelings. So Shayla, I gave her a shout out and it just felt really. She said she felt loved. She felt seen and supported and very nice.
Amy Stone [00:02:14]:
So almost like the. I have a friend who does a weather like she knits align with the temperature every day. I think I might have that slightly wrong, actually. But it’s. So she’s crocheting and she’s changing the pattern or the colors based on mood. Like a mood chart. Like creating a log. That’s fascinating. That’s very, very sweet. Okay. The topic of the day, not crocheting, but a time when you chose to shift in your life from being the main character in your story to. To the author. So this is a beautiful sentence, and I’m excited to talk about it. It’s also a little bit vague as a distinct moment, like I usually, you know. So I want to give you a chance. I’m going to walk you through explaining it. Are you up for that?
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:03:03]:
I am up for it.
Amy Stone [00:03:05]:
All right, let’s do it. I want to start with this. Okay. So in your pitch, you’re talking about yourself and your story changing from main character to the author in your story. I would love for. To give some more light on that and explain what are you talking about when you mean your story, like, what does it even mean?
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:03:23]:
So to me, your story is the thing that you want to be like. Think about when you were a kid. What was the thing you wanted to be when you grew up? Generally, the answers come from that pure place, that place of who we were before the world told us who we should be. And so when I talk about our story, it’s our imagination, it’s our creativity, it’s our passions, it’s our values. It’s the thing that gets us up in the morning when the days feel heavy and hard. And I like to talk about the childhood place because, like I said, it’s generally the place where we’re less influenced by outside forces. And so part of being a main character is kind of getting back to that true north, as some people call it, back to yourself. Which for me, getting back to myself as where I’ve been for the last couple years in Calling Home a place on the road. But it didn’t start out that way. And a few years ago, I was living somebody else’s story. I. Okay, not a digital nomad. I did not have my own business. And I was kind of doing what I was thought I was supposed to be doing. Like, you know, getting. Getting a house. I was. I was engaged, and I was a K through 8 Spanish teacher. And those are all wonderful, admirable things. But what I realized is those were not the things that woke me up in the morning. Excited for the passion of life.
Amy Stone [00:04:59]:
All right, that’s very good. So I’m going to. We’re going to go more into detail there. That might have felt like I jumped in there, because I did. Okay, so I’m going to ask you about the. But to understand the Change. First of all, I wanna get like some background, really set the scene right so that we all have a better understanding of what was going on. So you gave me a timeline, a benchmark of when this happened in your age, which was right around when you turned 40 is when. Right. So if we were to go back to when you were 35 and you may have hit on some of these things, this might be a teeny tiny bit of a repeat. Give us a full picture of what your life was like at 35. Your professional life. It sounds like you were a K through 8, teacher, home situation, your health and happiness, you know, your hobbies and stuff like that. Tell us what life was like then. So then we’ll talk about making the change.
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:05:51]:
Yeah. So outwardly it was perfect. It was the dream, the American dream and that what people were seeking. Right. And. But inwardly I remember I get off work at like at Friday afternoon and I would just sit under a weighted blanket and some days I would cry and then I wouldn’t be able to really do much besides sit on the couch, binge watch things health wise, you know, stress eating. I was super unmotivated to really draw, to create. Like I’ve always been a painter and an illustrator and I just really felt like I was living somebody else’s life. But I was being told, Nope, you’re 35, you’re, you’re checking, checking the metrics of success. You have a career, you have a, you know, a 401k, you have a fiance.
Amy Stone [00:06:45]:
You’Re on the, you’re on the path, go to school, get an approved job, get married, have kids, raise the kids and somewhere magically contentment and fulfillment supposed to show up.
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:06:56]:
Yeah. Yep.
Amy Stone [00:06:57]:
And I think that for some people it probably does. But I talked to a lot of other people who realize that their path, they’re checking off these boxes on the, the path they need to take a detour. So I do talk to a lot of people about that. Right. So the shift we’re talking about you were happened right around when you were 40, I think. So at 35, you describe it as you were living somebody else’s life. Did you? This is not a perfect question because it requires like reflecting on your mindset then, even though you’re not then anymore. But how aware were you of that at that point? Like now you have the words to describe it, but in the moment, did you really have any idea of, of how to describe that as living somebody else’s checklist or what was going on?
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:07:50]:
Yeah, at the time, no. I mean, at the time, I was thoroughly convinced that I was happy. And I realized, like, every morning I would have to, like, hype myself up and, like, do. Do the pep talk of, like, you’re happy. Like, play this happy character. Okay. And it’s so interesting when you look back in pictures. And at the time, I was also rising as a content creator, and it’s been surreal to have some of my audience that has followed me through most of that journey, and they’re like, you look so different. We literally watched you transform in front of our very eyes. So, like, I think when I started really seeing myself in those pictures back then, even if I didn’t have the words, I had a visual to say, wait, I don’t recognize this woman looking back at me in this picture. I don’t recognize this woman looking at me in the mirror. I know that she’s me, but she doesn’t feel like me.
Amy Stone [00:08:50]:
Okay, so not as a form of judgment or evaluation, but to help somebody who might be in a similar space, did you have any sense of, like, discontent or overwhelm or sadness at that point in the moment? What did you think was going on?
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:09:11]:
So in the moment, I thought it was more of, maybe it’s me. Maybe I’m the problem, like the Taylor Swift song. And so I just thought, if I work harder at being a good, happy character in this life that I should be happy about, then I’ll be happy. Like, it’s gonna. Like, I’m. I was like, that’s how mindset works. Like, I’m, like. I felt like, you know, like, I’m just gonna think lovely thoughts. And I just. I didn’t realize. But like I said, some of the indicators were I. I wasn’t going into my favorite hobbies. Like, you know, I grew up in Colorado, avid hikers, wasn’t hiking, wasn’t even really walking. Would send her away to blankets. I’m not creating. And so I just thought, like, I feel like some people might also relate. Let me just make sure my partner is happy, and then I’ll be happy.
Amy Stone [00:10:18]:
Okay.
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:10:18]:
All going to work out.
Amy Stone [00:10:20]:
That’s. I think there’s two things that are coming up for me with this. One is there’s, like, a really old joke that has been around, like, for, like, most of my life, which is, like, where you run into, like, it’s like a. An aunt or a grandmother that’s like, you know, and she’s like, they’re like, you. You look so much happier. She’s like, yeah, I thought I was Depressed. It turns out that I just needed to divorce my husband of 35 years. Right. It’s like, that’s a. It’s a terrible joke. It’s a terrible joke because it really pushes on somebody else. But it did come to mind when you were saying that. And the other thing was that there is like right now in 2025, there’s like a social media thing where people are like, you know, I thought I was, you know, I thought I was sick, but what I did was I needed a change. I need it. Right. And it’s this. It’s this thing that’s going on. I think that it’s interesting because we want to believe that we’re not the person who’s going to turn this in on ourselves and score ourselves against an old fashioned checklist. And yet I think that it’s hard to pick it up in the moment. I think that it’s hard to think to yourself, to realize that what’s going on is that you’re really listening more than you want to to external forces. I just want to honor the fact that in the moment it feels like you should work harder at the job and harder at the house and harder at the kids. That’s my guess. I’m not a professional advisor to be able to say that. Okay, so let’s talk more about how the words we’re using and stuff like that. Okay, so we’re. When you say that you were the main character or you are the main character and this is in somebody else’s story, what are the other options that are out there? Like, so when did you come to this realization that you would define yourself as a main character or an author? And what are some of the other options that might have been there?
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:12:13]:
Yeah, and so I feel like a lot of times, so belonging is been a big theme in my journey. Right. So when we’re kind of in those spaces where we’re being side characters in our own story, it’s because we want to belong. And that’s understandable. We might put ourselves in these situations. Like I checked off these boxes that I didn’t even know if I truly believed in. But I also wanted to belong and feel connected. And so for me, and I think that this happens. I’ve heard this for other people as well. Like you can make the choice or at times, sometimes the choice is made for you and you have, you know, so I had a situation where the choice was made for me and I had a plot twist of a telenovela variety. I had found out that I was not the only person in my fiance at the time’s life.
Amy Stone [00:13:14]:
Oh, really? That is Telanova. That is worthy. That is worthy.
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:13:21]:
And so I had a decision. I was like. And honestly, I think it was that window of opportunity, and many times the heartbreaks, the, you know, the layoffs, the redirections that feel so uncomfortable are those detours that are really those off ramps. And that’s what it was for me was an off ramp. To say, this isn’t the life that I wanted, and what is the life that I want? That’s what being a main character is. It’s not like, let me come and take center stage. It’s about taking my story, my values, and putting those things center stage in my life. Because I feel like I was so accustomed to putting other people’s needs first. So what does it look like when I create life by putting my wants, my values, my dreams, and those things first? That was that main character shift. All right.
Amy Stone [00:14:13]:
I think that’s a beautiful way to describe it. I also just want to give a shout out to the fact that. So your name. Your last name is Chavez. I live in Miami. The Telenotica story. This is. There’s a saying in Miami that, you know, we are fueled by chisme. That was high quality chisme. It probably did not feel good at the moment in your life, but that’s a story dropper. That’s like a. Like, that’s like a thing. All right, so at 40, there was a change. Is that the change? Is that the singular event that happened that got your attention? Was it your birthday, or was it a general, like, sort of wake up feeling call that was like, oh, this. I’m on the wrong path here.
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:14:51]:
That was. I would say that was the lemons. I very much. I love Beyonce. And so the Lemonade album, and I did live out that lemonade feeling. That was the lemons. And then the change was really, when I started to turn those lemons into lemonade, it took a little bit of time. It took healing. It took therapy. It took a lot of support. But after kind of the grieving process, I was like, okay, I’m about to be 40. I. And I was being asked, when are you going to settle down?
Amy Stone [00:15:37]:
Yeah. You know, people should never ask that question that is on the list of things that people should just remove from the conversation list.
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:15:45]:
Like, yeah, yeah, like, time’s ticking. When are you going to. And at that point, I mean, as.
Amy Stone [00:15:52]:
If you had missed it, that you’d been alive for 40 years, as if you were unaware.
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:15:56]:
Unaware, right. And I remember sitting there and going, but I tried that. And I like, like heartbroken, like have just barely strung my heart back together. So you want me to try it again? And that’s when I really sat down and I said, victoria, what is the thing that you want to do with your life? Like you’re about to be 40. So instead of settle down, go after your dreams, go after the wild ones, go after the big ones. And I wanted to take a cross country road trip by myself and I wanted the freedom to do that. So I leaned into starting my business and I started using the vehicle, both the literal vehicle that I had and then the vehicle that I knew of, like content creation. And I started going on social media and telling my story. I actually used to make really cringey content about my breakup because that was how I was coping, that was how I was healing and it was how I didn’t feel alone. And that thing of belonging, I started to feel like I belonged. I started to feel connected from other people, feeling inspired by my story.
Amy Stone [00:17:14]:
So this is a really interesting twist to how we’re telling it because one of the things that’s really interesting, I think that from the beginning of time probably people have known that there’s a good feeling and sometimes a benefit for sharing the things that were going on that are going on with other people. But in the last five to seven years, the way human beings connect and establish community has dramatically changed. It could be longer, right? It could be longer, but there’s a pretty big age division in how it’s perceived, right? So Even though my 86 year old mother in law is online, funny story, she lost her Facebook login and she came to me and she was like, can you help me get back on? And I made a snap decision.
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:17:57]:
I was like, I don’t, you know.
Amy Stone [00:17:59]:
It stresses you out. I just was like, I just totally punted and then convened with all the grandkids and was like, it’s better for grandma if she’s not on social media. And she went to the Apple store and got herself back on. So my evasiveness did not work. But anyway, there’s this idea, the concept of building a community, a virtual community that is valid and strong and beneficial is actually something that gets people’s attention, right? Not everybody agrees that it’s healthy. Social media is very, very much all thrown under the bus as a bad thing for a lot of things. I’m not here to defend social media or the people own the companies, but I’d love to hear more about how you found support by sharing your story publicly and creating a sense of belonging and strength and support and all of the good things that come with other humans.
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:18:54]:
Yeah. So I started pouring because I wasn’t being creative, and creation is a part of content creation. And so I started using social media as a space to tell my story. And people would cheer me on. People would tell me their stories. They would tell me that they felt seen. There were women and men. There were some men, too, that were going through breakups, that were going through difficult transitions. And like I said, you know, some of my audience got to really watch the glow up, the evolution. They got to watch the light come back into my eyes, and they got to start seeing me travel. And so these, like, cringy content TikToks turned into speaking opportunities. Oh, nice brand deals.
Amy Stone [00:19:47]:
So this was on TikTok. This was on TikTok that people were finding you?
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:19:50]:
It was on TikTok between TikTok and Instagram. That was where people were finding me at the time.
Amy Stone [00:19:54]:
TikTok is a really, really good place for a breakup story, I gotta say. They do tend to get traction. And. Yeah, no, it’s. And I follow a fair number of travel nomad type people for inspiration, and I’m a fan. All right, so I’m gonna talk to directly the audience for a second, invite them into our conversation, and then we’re gonna come back and talk more about this. Talking to Victor, a time when she changed the energy in her life from being the main character to the author and what that meant and all those things. And I post a discussion question on Instagram, Facebook and YouTube. So I invite everybody who’s in the audience to come and engage with us. I’ll be there. Victoria will be there. Other people from the audience will be having this conversation. It’s super fun. If you don’t have the links for the show on social, they’re in the show notes. Shocker. All right, back to the conversation and where we were. So you’re 40. You’re getting some social pressure from the peanut gallery that. That this has changed. I don’t know if you’d ever heard this, but psychologists actually have a word for those timeline changes in our life that do give us pressure because it’s like, not necessarily always imaginary. It’s like that 40 milestone, and some people feel it. 30, 50 can be a big one. So you were there, you were approaching it. You’re going through it. Let’s talk now about shifting from being main character energy to becoming the author of your story. And one of the things I’m curious of, because this is very well worded, and this is not about the decision or anything, but did you come up with this shift, like, on your own, like, as you were working through it in therapy and so on and so forth, or did you have support and help in sort of figuring out what this change was that you were doing from, like, books or coaching resources or friends or. Where did this idea of switching to the author of your story come from?
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:21:46]:
It came from a variety of places. So, yes, some of those coaches, some of the community that I was connected with and then from, like, therapy. But where the real big shift in, like, being the author of your story came is when I was connected with Ashley Oheyeva, who is a part. She’s a bestselling author of HEFA in training. And it was an entrepreneurial book for Latinas who were starting businesses. And at the time I was really starting, I had gone from my kind of corporate marketing job to now I’m on my own as a business. And.
Amy Stone [00:22:25]:
Does she live in Miami? I’m trying to think if. Whether or not I’ve read that book.
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:22:30]:
She doesn’t live in Miami, but there’s a large HEFA hood, as we call it, Miami.
Amy Stone [00:22:36]:
Yeah. I have to look that up. So I consider myself a. I am Whitey McWhiderson. Like, I do not get to qualify as Latina on any checklist, but I think that living in Miami for 30 years gives me proximity, and I claim it. It’s totally.
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:22:54]:
I mean, you knew about cheeseme.
Amy Stone [00:22:56]:
I knew about. You can sit at the table. So. But I do. I walk the line of like. Like trying not to, like, culturally appropriate a culture that I cannot actually claim, But I’m going to look it up and see, because it was a book a couple years ago that was either this one or similar. And I remember the launch and the. And all of the things. So I love that you threw that out. And I got, like, a funny expression on my face when you said half and training. Because I was trying to, like, go back through my cheese Swiss cheese memory and be like, wait a minute, have I that book? All right, so she. You get this introduction, and she. And then you’re off to the. You’re stepping into entrepreneurship.
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:23:32]:
Stepping into entrepreneurship. And she was the one who really was like, she listened to my dreams, and I said, I want to write. I want to speak. And she was like, all right, let’s do it. And she invited me to one of her masterminds in Mexico with other Latino entrepreneurs. And one of my favorite of this is the shift was at the time I did not have a passport. You know, this is few years post Covid. And I had let it expire.
Amy Stone [00:24:03]:
And also it now takes like six months to get it renewed. Yes.
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:24:07]:
So it was when I booked the trip with my non refundable deposit. I had seven weeks until the trip. They were saying it was going to take seven weeks at minimum, and I did it anyway. And that’s where I think that shift from main character to author goes. And it says, I know what I want and I’m going to make it happen.
Amy Stone [00:24:33]:
Okay.
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:24:34]:
And it’s like this. There’s something in that determination that I think reshapes so much around us.
Amy Stone [00:24:42]:
I think it’s a brilliant way to describe it. I say all the time that I really do believe that seeing the choices that we have is empowerment. Right. It doesn’t mean we’re going to like the choices all the time. It doesn’t mean that we’re going to magically be able to do things that were impossible the day before. But being aware of the choice and working to be intentional on the choices or own them or whatever works out, I think is really, really important. So you begin, you get your passport. Post Covid, I actually knew people who are flying from where they live, not where I am, but like they were doing crazy things like flying to New Orleans or flying to Atlanta to try and get into places that had offices. I mean, everything was just like, just hopefully it is. Hopefully it is organized itself again. All right, so that is a very specific shift. You sign up for a coach, you’re following a mentor who is giving you, giving you direction, so on and so forth. Talk some more about some of the specific things that you were able to change in your life.
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:25:50]:
Yeah. And fun fact, my passport showed up in a week.
Amy Stone [00:25:54]:
It did. That’s a really good. That’s a really, really good part of the story. I was actually in the post office mailing something, which I can’t even think of why I would actually be in a post office now. And the poor person in front of me was like, hey, I need a passport photo. And in this, it’s one of the post office in Miami where they usually will take your passport photo. But the person was like, yeah, our photographer, our passport person is like on le and won’t be back for like months. I’m not in this conversation. It’s not happening to me. But I’m like, oh, my God. And then she’s like, you can go to this other office in this other part of town where they might be open. I was like, this is not like this poor person is now on the like, you know, like, I just think that sometimes it can be an adventure. So you got yours back in a week. That’s awesome. What other things did you change?
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:26:42]:
So I went on the retreat in Mexico. I started writing more. I intentionally started putting out the, putting in the work to get a TEDx. I wanted to share my story on a TEDx stage. And within a year I gave an international talk and then gave a TedX two weeks later. And so to kind of go from and remember how I talked about loving Carmen San Diego to now I’m living my Carmen San Diego life. I flew, I think last year I flew 35,000 miles. Four countries, 11 states. I created content all along the way. I made friends and community from all over the world. This year I went into that. What is the big thing I wanted to do before I turned 40 or at least before while I can. And it was that cross country road trip which I just finished a seventh month cross country solo road trip.
Amy Stone [00:27:50]:
Oh, I love that. So and your road trip that you did. So I dragged my kids on a cross country road trip in 2020 or 2021, whatever. Like they were still in school and everything was shut down. And so we did much. Not like not seven months, it was six weeks. But even with that, I still have the itch to like do a slower version which will be by myself. And I will say, I don’t know what kind of feedback you got from your community when you said you want to do a solo road trip across the country. I did like a test version not too long ago where I was like, I’m taking this solo trip. Some of the people in my community had opinions.
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:28:33]:
Yeah, I mean that’s kind of the thing is when you start to. I think that that’s the beautiful thing about main character and even becoming the author in your story, you are going to find people with opinions and you.
Amy Stone [00:28:45]:
I like that you call it beautiful.
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:28:47]:
Like, I mean I’m a glass half full kind of girl. If you. The reality is, is like I was going to find people that have opinions and then you recognize the only one that matters is really yours. And you know, yes, be safe. Like, they’re like, of course safety was of the utmost importance. But that didn’t stop me from doing the thing that I wanted to do.
Amy Stone [00:29:08]:
Right.
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:29:08]:
And I ended up giving a creative mornings talk about it and talked about how this has been a thing that had been calling to me since I was a teenager to be able to do that and then to just say, yep, I’m gonna do that. I’m gonna plan, I’m gonna put together resources and to go from where I was five years ago, depressed on a couch, unsure if I was happy in my life, to now living a life that I feel like I don’t need to escape from. Like, living the life of a life that I’ve continually dreamed of is just, it’s just beyond like anything like I had ever truly, truly planned.
Amy Stone [00:29:59]:
Yeah. That’s amazing. So, and then you’re. The way you’re doing the cross country road trip is because there’s a million different ways to do it, right? Is you are almost. We would call this like slow travel. Like you are going from place to place, setting up a little Airbnb or hotel or guest stay, as opposed to renovating a school bus and driving and camping. Okay, so just inquiring, folks want to know. All right. And so I’m going to ask you. You gave me the answer to this. So today, I think. All right, so I actually watched your TEDx talk. I’ll put the link to it in the show notes so that other people can you. And I checked. I was researching you. I was preparing for the interview. You call yourself now a storyteller, I think is what you call yourself. All right, so very good. And that’s. And this ties into your profession like this. You are now a professional storyteller. So at what point. The first question here is, what point did you claim that as your professional?
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:31:03]:
Yeah, I mean, it would. It was last year when I was working with one of my mentors and she was like, it’s very clear you’re a storyteller. And I said, no, it’s not. And when I looked at how I had viewed the world, how I had viewed social media, how I had used that to make connection, because stories help us connect. My TEDx is a story. It’s sharing mine. And in years of working in content creation and working as a consultant and helping other people share their stories, I realized that a lot of times people might get stuck in how did I tell my story? How do I tell it authentically? How do I. And there is a little bit of like, you don’t just wake up one day and, like, you know, say, hey, I’m the main character now. Like, a lot of the shifts that I’m talking about have happened over years. There have Been inner work and a lot of. Of talking to the mirror and the pep talks. But what I realized is that people sometimes don’t always see the brilliance in their story because we’re just so used to living it.
Amy Stone [00:32:06]:
Yes. No, I mean, one of my favorite expressions about it’s very hard to see the label from inside the bottle. You know, you’re in the middle of it, and it’s not that you’ve done anything wrong or anything else, but you just. It’s impossible to see because you’re. You’re in the. You’re doing the thing. It’s a skill 100. So I want to clarify, because you said that you were working as a Spanish teacher, I think. All right, so what did you did. What did you study in school? This is a totally nosy question. You don’t actually have to tell me, but, like, when I was putting together the questions, I was like, all right, you know, I don’t know that there’s a storytelling, like, degree or certificate. Like, what did you study in school?
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:32:47]:
So I have a degree in communications in linguistics and Spanish language. So. And like. And essentially, like, linguistics being I geek out on all the different ways that we can talk to each other and all the different ways we communicate to each other. And what is story but the heart of that?
Amy Stone [00:33:09]:
Oh, absolutely. No, very similar. So my degree is in journalism, so they officially called it mass communication. And then I studied French and had to do phonetics and all those things. So, like, I’m fascinated by the differences. One of the things that just really, really entertains me is when people get super hung up on there being only one way to say something or one way, one word, or like, a word can never change. And I just am like. I’m like, I see your argument, and I’m gonna. I’m gonna go get my popcorn because I just find it entertaining and, you know, whatever. So that is very good. So you actually. I would say that you had a pretty, you know, official education. I’m sure you worked hard on telling your own story and using the tools for modern storytelling. All right, so in a minute, we’re going to do the final fun questions. I want to give you a chance to talk directly to the audience and tell them about your business today, what you do, who you help. Share with us the name of your company, for sure, the products and services you offer, and then do you have an offer for the audience? And I’ll come back and share that after you do that.
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:34:13]:
Yeah. So what had started as Lilac at Aspen had I’ve evolved a secondary brand called the Story Saloon. And it is happy hour for your brand, for your story. I love your bottle analogy. And I really help people distill the power of their story. A lot of times people don’t realize how powerful and resonant just being your authentic self can be. And sometimes we need support and a guide in helping us get there. We need somebody to reflect back what’s inside the bottle. And that’s what I help people do. And it’s been really great to see the people. Some of the people that I’ve worked on have gone on to give TEDxS. They’ve gone, you know, secure some of the brand deals they’re seeking. They’ve gone on to write the book, right? The thing that. To tell their stories in all the different ways that their hearts desire. And I really feel like when we are telling stories and we are showing all of the different ways, like, much like language, right? Like, people will argue over this is the one way to say it, but you and I both know that there’s multiple ways to communicate and to share a story. And the more that I help people be in that, the more just excited and hopeful I get. Like, I literally wake up every day and I’m just excited to live my life. And five years ago, that was not my story. And today I really. I look in the mirror and I sometimes cannot believe the woman looking back at me, because she was always there and now I see her.
Amy Stone [00:35:53]:
That’s really, truly very beautiful. And it is true. One of my favorite things about. One of my favorite stories I share about me with words is that words sometimes do change. So I was standing at a tiki bar on a beach in Mexico, which aligns with you were there in a retreat. And I walked up in this, you know, New York bar. He told me he was from New York. So I knew that New York bartender was like, hey, can I make you a bespoke spoke cocktail? And my brain broke in this moment because I was like, that’s not what that word means. That word is about tailoring clothes. And I was like, okay. And the reason it’s so funny to me is that a. It didn’t matter. I knew what he meant, like, that he was gonna make a custom thing. And also now, like, it is the way we use the word. It just means, like an artisan thing. It’s totally shifted. So I could have been. I could rail, I could be like, get off my yard. Like, you know, cranky person. Like, this is not what it Means.
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:36:54]:
All right.
Amy Stone [00:36:55]:
Do you have a special offer for the audience which is a 60 minute, one on one deep dive to help people uncover their signature story? Normally sold for $297. Special offer for the audience. They get it for free. That’s a really great offer. There’s a link, you guys. The best way to get the link is to be subscribed to the imperfect adulting email list because then you can just click on it. But it is also in the show notes wherever you are listening or watching this. Thank you very much, Victoria for that generous offer. Are you ready for the final questions?
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:37:26]:
I am.
Amy Stone [00:37:27]:
Let’s do it. Do it, do it. These are rapid fire. Just for fun. What is your favorite summertime activity?
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:37:35]:
Oh, swimming in the river.
Amy Stone [00:37:37]:
Ooh, nice. All right, Very good. Very, very good. I love that.
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:37:41]:
All right.
Amy Stone [00:37:41]:
Do you read or listen to books? Because now we can do both. And if so, do you have a recent book that you’ve read or listened to that you will share with with us?
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:37:50]:
Yes. So I love listening to books. It definitely helps on the road trip venture. And I just finished more than enough by Elaine Welteroth.
Amy Stone [00:38:01]:
Good job with the like title and author. Oh my gosh. I’m usually like when people ask me, I’m like, I’m reading this thing. It’s about, you know, whatever, whatever. It’s by a person. This is why I don’t have any. This is why I don’t have an English degree. By the way, who’s the author? I don’t know. When did they write the book? Not sure. What was it about? I’ll give you a general synopsis and I’ll probably So anyway. All right. That was a wonderful recommendation. All right. What is a tool or a gadget that you use pretty much every day and that you think that everybody should use too? This can be an online thing, like a software or a thing or it could be like a real thing that you use in like a gadget in real life. Anything open ended.
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:38:44]:
I mean I definitely use. I mean does your phone count?
Amy Stone [00:38:52]:
It does everything.
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:38:54]:
But like if I had to give, like, because my phone has my calendar, it has some of my social medias and it has all my different, you know, apps these days and how people, because people don’t like basic text you or call you. People don’t call you in the same way. But that was actually really fun on the road trip to have people call me because I was like, I can’t text you.
Amy Stone [00:39:14]:
You need to call me. So fun, fun thing. I actually I an phone calls. Like, I screen my calls, like, everybody. Because, like, no one actually calls me. Like, when my phone rings, the only. Like I have. I only answer it if it comes up with a name that I know. Right? Like, because otherwise I would be declining political conversation surveys all day long or whatever it is, or extend. I don’t even know what the people are calling. I don’t know what they’re calling about, but I don’t answer. But anyway, I can answer the phone in my car because I just, like, you know, hit the button. But recently, like, I needed to, like, answer the phone, like, with the phone in my hand. Like, somebody’s like, I’m going to call you back. It was for, like, an appointment. And I was like, looking at the phone and I was like, I don’t even know. I don’t even. I don’t know what’s going to happen when this rings. Like, I’ve, like, haven’t done this in a long time. And then it came up and I was like, I just going to push the button. That’s what I’m going to do.
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:40:02]:
Yep. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, my. My steering wheel, like, has, like, Siri now connected to it, which I was like, that’s fun because then I’ll just click Siri on the steering wheel and, you know, Siri will call or, you know, take notes. I mean, I definitely, you know, what.
Amy Stone [00:40:16]:
Are they calling that? They’re calling those fast channels else. When the technology has direct buttons to specific things. I just got a word for that. I don’t know if anybody else is using that word. Maybe not. I don’t know. That’s it. Victoria Carrington Chavez, this has been fantastic. Thank you for being a wonderful guest.
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:40:34]:
Thank you so much.
Amy Stone [00:40:35]:
Amy.
Victoria Carrington Chavez [00:40:36]:
Loved being here.