Have you ever wondered what would happen if everything you feared most suddenly became your reality? Most of us spend our lives carefully constructing safety nets, building routines, and avoiding situations that might force us out of our comfort zones. We believe that stability equals security, and that the path we’ve chosen is the one we must follow. But what happens when that path disappears beneath our feet?
For Anjl Rodee, an artist and comedian from Wisconsin, her greatest fears materialized all at once: homelessness, financial insecurity, and complete isolation in an unfamiliar city 2,000 miles from everyone she knew. What started as a promising relationship and cross-country move for love transformed into one of life’s most brutal wake-up calls when her partner abruptly ended their relationship, leaving her with two weeks to find a new place to live in Seattle – a city where she had no connections, no job prospects, and no support system.
“All my greatest fears happened at the same time,” Anjl recalls. Growing up in what she describes as a “dysfunctional and alcoholic home,” she developed intense fears of abandonment and financial insecurity. “My biggest fear in life was living in a cardboard box,” she shares. Then suddenly, that metaphorical fear became her reality.
Yet what began as a devastating crisis evolved into what Anjl now considers “one of the best choices” she’s ever made. Her story reveals a profound truth about human resilience: sometimes losing everything is exactly what we need to discover who we truly are and to build a life that genuinely reflects our authentic selves, free from others’ expectations.
Finding Yourself When Everything Else Is Gone
When faced with a life-altering crisis, our instinctive reaction is often to retreat to safety – to return to the familiar, regardless of whether it actually serves us. When Anjl’s relationship ended and she found herself stranded in Seattle, friends back home urged her to return to Wisconsin where she could stay in their spare rooms while rebuilding her life.
“People back home were like, ‘Come and stay in my spare room while you look for another job,'” Anjl remembers. “And I thought, that feels like a step backwards. It has cost me a lot emotionally to be here. I’m going to stick it out and figure out why the fates put me here.”
This decision to stay and face her greatest fears rather than retreat to comfort represents a crucial turning point in Anjl’s story. Initially, she turned the lens on herself, internalizing the rejection. “Why I must be just entirely rejectable as a human, because who does that?” she questioned. This moment of vulnerability is something many can relate to – the tendency to blame ourselves when relationships end unexpectedly.
Instead of allowing that negativity to consume her, Anjl took decisive action. With nowhere to live and minimal resources, she transformed her circumstances through creativity and determination. After discovering an artist space for rent that contained a pedestal sink and toilet, she made a bold decision: “I can squat here.”
“I would work really loudly in the day, say goodbye to my artist friends, and leave and sneak back in,” she explains. “I told everybody I lived in the Anne Frank Hotel, because at night I would keep the lights off and I’d be very quiet and pretend that I wasn’t there.”
Transforming Crisis Into Opportunity
What’s remarkable about Anjl’s story isn’t just her survival instinct, but her ability to recognize and create opportunities even in her darkest moments. When Amy Stone asked, “How do you switch that around?” – referring to Anjl’s initial negative self-talk – the answer revealed an approach to life that combines practical hustle with spiritual openness.
“Craigslist,” Anjl replied simply, before detailing three pivotal opportunities that came her way. First, she secured a year’s membership at an upscale yoga studio with showers and Aveda products in exchange for designing an instructor’s manual. Second, she created signage and menus for a gluten-free bakery that paid her with an ever-replenishing gift card, solving her food needs. These creative barters demonstrate how Anjl transformed her skills into solutions for basic survival.
The third opportunity, however, sparked a deeper transformation. Anjl began receiving mail from a local Buddhist temple, which she eventually visited. “There’s a young man in, and I walk in and he said to me earnestly, ‘Can I help you?’ And I started bawling,” she recounts. This encounter introduced her to Buddhist teachings that helped her shift her perspective: “The answer to ‘why me’ is it doesn’t matter why. Here you are.”
This philosophical shift proved as essential to her survival as securing food and shelter. “I instantly forgave that guy,” she says of her ex-partner. “He can’t help it. That’s his personality. It wasn’t personal.” This forgiveness freed her from spending nights with “self-harming thoughts” and allowed her to focus on moving forward.
Building A New Identity From The Ground Up
One of the most profound aspects of Anjl’s story is how losing everything helped her discover her authentic self. Before the breakup, she had constructed an identity tied to specific places and roles – particularly as a musician in Wisconsin. She worried that moving would mean losing this established persona: “I have a Persona here that will go away if I move to another part of the country.”
What she discovered through her ordeal, however, was that her core identity wasn’t dependent on external circumstances at all. “Everything that I thought was fake about me, I’m like, oh, I guess I am an entertainer. I am these things,” she reflects. “I am these things because I’m still the same.”
This realization speaks to a universal fear many of us harbor – that we are somehow imposters in our own lives, and that our identities are fragile constructs that could collapse at any moment. Anjl’s experience suggests the opposite – that our authentic selves remain even when everything external falls away.
In Seattle, Anjl didn’t rebuild her exact previous life. Instead, she discovered new facets of herself, becoming a comedian rather than continuing as a musician. This flexibility allowed her to grow in unexpected ways while maintaining her core identity as a creative person.
“My world didn’t build up looking the same as it did in the Midwest,” she explains. “I wasn’t a musician in Seattle, but I became a comedian of all things.” This willingness to evolve rather than cling to old identities proved crucial to her reinvention.
The Gift Of Facing Your Fears
Perhaps the most powerful insight from Anjl’s journey is how confronting her greatest fears transformed them from sources of anxiety into sources of strength. After surviving homelessness, financial instability, and isolation, she emerged with a profound confidence in her ability to handle whatever life might throw at her.
“The reason I’m so grateful that all of this happened to me, Amy, is because everything that I thought was the scariest thing that could happen to me happened to me all at once,” she explains. “And not only did I not die, I am bulletproof. You can put me down in the middle of anywhere on the planet and I am going to be just fine.”
This perspective represents a complete inversion of her previous worldview. What once seemed like the worst possible outcome became the catalyst for her greatest personal growth. The experience forced her to confront her abandonment issues and imposter syndrome head-on, ultimately freeing her from their grip.
“I am so solid,” she says. “I am so grateful to that guy.” This gratitude toward someone who caused her significant pain demonstrates how thoroughly she has transformed her relationship with adversity. Rather than viewing her ex-partner as the villain in her story, she now sees him as an unwitting catalyst for her personal evolution.
After 14 years in Seattle, Anjl eventually chose to return to Wisconsin to be near family, particularly her young grandchildren. But this return wasn’t a retreat – it was a choice made from a position of strength and clarity rather than fear or necessity. Her work had become virtual, allowing her the freedom to live anywhere while maintaining the career she had built.
In an era where many of us feel trapped by our circumstances, financial obligations, or fear of change, Anjl’s story offers a powerful alternative narrative. It suggests that sometimes what we need most is not greater stability, but the courage to embrace uncertainty and trust in our capacity to create meaning and purpose even in the most challenging circumstances.
As we navigate our own lives, her experience reminds us that our greatest growth often lies on the other side of our deepest fears. By reclaiming our power to choose our response to life’s challenges, we can transform even our darkest moments into opportunities for authentic self-discovery and living life on our own terms.
This article was inspired by a thought-provoking interview with Anjl Rodee and Amy Stone on The Art of Imperfect Adulting podcast. To hear more compelling conversations like this one and receive special offers from our guests directly to your inbox, join our email community today.
Interview Transcript Anjl Rodee with Amy Stone | The Art of Imperfect Adulting | June 4, 2025
Amy Stone [00:00:04]:
Angel, Roy. Welcome to the art of imperfect adulting.
Anjl Rodee [00:00:10]:
Hello. Hi. Well, happy to be here.
Amy Stone [00:00:12]:
Yay. All right. I’m so happy you’re here. Are you ready for a chat?
Anjl Rodee [00:00:16]:
I am so ready.
Amy Stone [00:00:17]:
Awesome. I begin every interview by asking my guests where they call home. So where are you located?
Anjl Rodee [00:00:25]:
I am exactly in the middle of the country. Well, a little bit north. I’m in Wisconsin.
Amy Stone [00:00:30]:
Wisconsin, yes. Home of cheese curds it is. That’s right. That’s right. I used to have a co worker who would bring cheese curds into work, and they make this squeaky sound when you chew on.
Anjl Rodee [00:00:41]:
Ah, squeaky cheese. It has a gravitational pull of its own, and that’s why people live here despite the weather.
Amy Stone [00:00:50]:
I thought it was the football, but okay, we’ll go with that. Yeah. Is it cheese curds and football? All right, so I. I’d love to learn a little bit more about you before we get to the topic of the day. I love to ask people about something that’s not their family, something that’s not their job. A passion, something that brings them a joy, a hobby. Share something with us about you that you’re willing to share on the podcast.
Anjl Rodee [00:01:10]:
I love collecting and refurbishing snow globes. I have over a thousand of them. Some vintage, some exotic from places, some just ridiculously large for a snow globe. And I love refilling them, fixing them, repainting them, relighting them if they’re lit, and just looking at them, they give me joy. They’re kitschy, and they are reminders of places I’ve been or places I’d like to be or just my youth. And I love them.
Amy Stone [00:01:43]:
That’s fantastic. I never even knew that was a thing. I would have thought. Yeah. No, I did not know that refurbishing a snow globe was something that people did, but I absolutely love it. I bought a snow globe for my college basketball team just this year because it. Just because it is. It’s kitschy. It works like a bookend. It’s fun. It’s just like. It’s like a. It’s. It’s like a knickknack and a toy all in one. I’m.
Anjl Rodee [00:02:08]:
It’s all the things. It’s all the things I’m all in.
Amy Stone [00:02:11]:
But I never. If mine broke, I would just throw it away.
Anjl Rodee [00:02:14]:
Oh, see, I didn’t know.
Amy Stone [00:02:16]:
I didn’t know that it could be. Exactly. If it breaks now, I know that they can be fixed. There we go. All right, so now to get to the topic that you proposed what we’re talking about today is the abrupt end of a relationship that left you broken, homeless, 2,000 miles away from everybody you knew. That’s. Does that sound like something you want to talk about?
Anjl Rodee [00:02:38]:
Absolutely.
Amy Stone [00:02:39]:
All right, let’s do it. So I’m gonna back you way up to way before even the breakup, because before we talk about the breakup, I want to talk about the start, like, the beginning. So I think it helps. I think it helps to understand the beginning. Right? So. So how did you and whoever this other person is, how did you meet? How did you fall in love? Like, tell us the beginning story.
Anjl Rodee [00:03:00]:
Well, we met in the fifth grade. We went to grade school together, and I actually had a crush on his older brother at the time, and we were a thing. And when you’re a thing in grade school, it means you pass notes. So it was that, and then his family moved to another state. My family moved away for a bit, and we kind of lost contact. And this family has a very distinctive name, both their first and their last names. And when this. This guy popped up in my Facebook feed as someone that I might know, I thought, oh, I wonder how his brother was doing. My first love, you know? So I just wrote. Reached out and said, hey, I don’t know if you remember me. We were in the fifth grade together. I was going to warm up with that and then later lean into, how is your brother? And he wrote back, just so excited and grateful that I remembered him, because he felt invisible in grade school, that I never had the heart to ask him how his brother is. And that’s fine. We just started talking. So that’s how it started. A reconnection on Facebook from a grade school.
Amy Stone [00:04:07]:
This is like before the comment section and the message section of Facebook was taken over by people who were trying to sell us stuff back in the days when we were reconnecting. I think the reconnecting with it’s still really good for that, actually. Facebook gets a lot of negative stuff, but I think it’s a. Can be a very, very handy tool for reaching out to people. It’s like basically my address book these days.
Anjl Rodee [00:04:30]:
Same, same. I love knowing how all of my high school friends are doing, and I can look at them all at a glance. I can reach out to them at a glance. I really do like it for that. I like to think that what you seek, you will find. And if you look for the bad stuff or only think about the bad stuff, all you see is the bad stuff.
Amy Stone [00:04:48]:
Oh, sure. And that’s what the tools are designed to do. Which is why I have my social media feeds finely tuned to serve me funny videos of adorable animals and silly jokes. And anytime there’s something big that happens, I mean, you can’t avoid all of the news, but anytime there’s something big that happens, I spend a lot of time like, no, thank you. No, thank you. No, thank you. But it sometimes works against you. Like, if you watch, I sometimes wonder what the gremlins in. In, like, the technology actually think. Like, so, like, years ago, when I was, like, watching, like, the Narcos TV show, and I was, like, googling that stuff, and I was like, I wonder what somebody. If anybody’s trying to figure out what’s going on in my life, like, what do they think? Because it’s like, one minute I’m like, how do you make macaroni and cheese? And the next I’m like, did this actually happen in the drug trade? Or, like, you know, this is.
Anjl Rodee [00:05:41]:
This is something that I find adorable about myself. I mean, other people, when they Google, you know, how to do a thing, and then ads for that thing start showing up in their Facebook, it kind of freaks them out. My brain goes, oh, that’s so convenient.
Amy Stone [00:05:56]:
Oh, yeah, No, I love it. I really appreciate it. When I travel, and they’re like, hey, if you want Mexican food near your hotel. And I’m like, yes, thank you. Thank you very, very much for knowing where I am so I don’t have to figure it out. I do. I definitely appreciate it. And, yeah, I agree. I think that it could be really good. On the other hand, sometimes if you look for something and you’re a craftsperson, and so sometimes I, like, Google some random part, and then I’m getting ads for that store that I’m never gonna shop at ever again. You know what I mean? Also true, right? I just have to live through it. I bought my one thing from you, and now I’m moving on. All right, so this is a relationship that started. You guys were familyish friends, like, early school friends. You reconnect online. How long? So then you shift from acquaintances and. And friend of the brother to a relationship. How long were you guys together in a relationship?
Anjl Rodee [00:06:53]:
Up in a couple of years. A couple of years. But he. But he is. He’s a pilot, so it was, you know, sporadic pieces. It wasn’t. Although he. He was pretty much based at my place, but he would fly for, you know, five days or so, and then. And then come back. But a couple of years.
Amy Stone [00:07:12]:
Couple years. How did you end up 2000 how did you move? How did this happen? Where you ended up moving 2,000 miles away from everybody? How did that happen?
Anjl Rodee [00:07:20]:
Well, he. He first asked me to marry him and then told me that he had an opportunity to be based in Seattle and to fly internationally. Would I move from my home to Seattle with him? And at first I thought, well, I have a kind of a life built up here in Seattle and as a musician and things, I have a Persona here that will go away if I move to another part of the country. But it’s a sign, I thought, because my daughter lived in Seattle with her young family and she was just starting to have kids, and I thought, it’s a sign I want to be near my grandkids as they grow up. So I sold my house for less than it was worth and quit my job.
Amy Stone [00:08:09]:
And so you moved to Seattle. Okay, so you relocated to Seattle. So. All right, so you’re together for a couple years. You really. He asked you to marry him. Do you guys get married or you don’t get married?
Anjl Rodee [00:08:22]:
Nope. We’re just planning big wedding in France.
Amy Stone [00:08:26]:
Nice.
Anjl Rodee [00:08:27]:
Yeah.
Amy Stone [00:08:27]:
Was it a romantic proposal? Like, was it? Was it?
Anjl Rodee [00:08:31]:
It was. Yeah, it was. I. He was taking me away for a little romantic weekend and walked in the hotel room and there were pedals everywhere, and music was playing. And I love Scrabble. I love Scrabble. And he had a little travel Scrabble game, and he. He said, let’s play. And he. I opened up the game and it was. Will you marry me? Was spelled out on the Scrabble board. And I turned around, and he was there. He had a little speech.
Amy Stone [00:08:59]:
Yeah, it was nicely done.
Anjl Rodee [00:09:01]:
It was well done.
Amy Stone [00:09:02]:
Yes. I give point that was. There’s a lot of thought in there, writing it out. The Scrabble, the flowers. Very nicely done. I can see. I can see the appeal. Proposals are fun. Proposals are great. Yeah. They’re a little less work than marriage. All right, so. So then you guys are together. What is going on and what happens that you realize that you need out of this relationship?
Anjl Rodee [00:09:25]:
It wasn’t my realization, but he. Looking back, there was textbook narcissism. Things going on as far as separating me from my family and not wanting me to have contact with people that were not him and all this. All this sort of stuff. So we moved to Seattle, and I. I was under the assumption that his marriage was already done and broken up. His.
Amy Stone [00:09:59]:
He had been married before.
Anjl Rodee [00:10:00]:
Yes. Turns out the before part wasn’t so much a thing. They were still married and Surprise. So. But now that we were moving, he had started the process, and his wife was not being very emotionally generous. And so he. He was really angry all the time. And I didn’t quite understand what at. Because I. I wasn’t a part of that story. So I didn’t know what. Why he was. I just thought, I. I need to be nicer. We never really fought. So I. It’s not like I saw a breakup coming. And so, yeah, moved. Moved to Seattle. And my. Am I jumping ahead too far?
Amy Stone [00:10:51]:
So, no, no, I think that’s. I think that’s it. So, yeah, so you. You move. So you’re in Wisconsin. You move to Seattle. You find out that there’s more to this story than meets the eye. The person you thought was unattached is still attached. You get a little bit embroiled in the drama of his de. Entangling his previous relationship. Things start to get a little bit dicey between you guys. He breaks up, you break up. There’s a.
Anjl Rodee [00:11:20]:
Well, there was even more to that story than I was aware. Not only was there a former. There was somebody else he just met.
Amy Stone [00:11:28]:
Oh, my goodness.
Anjl Rodee [00:11:29]:
Here’s where the story gets really interesting.
Amy Stone [00:11:31]:
I thought it was interesting already.
Anjl Rodee [00:11:34]:
When I quit my job in Wisconsin, they asked if I would do it freelance, and that would entitle being my own small business and as an artist. At the time, I was thinking, I don’t know if I’m comfortable. I got a degree in drawing stuff, not in business. He said to me, I have a degree in business. I will manage that part of it. We will be partners. Awesome. So we move into this place, and three to five weeks after we move there, I go into his email because I needed the city, the business license he had just registered for because I needed that number to do something else with it, and saw a bunch of emails to this new lady where he was claiming that he was just moved to Seattle by himself. And. And he’s living the Seattle life. And I’m like, wow. So he comes home from mailing a letter, and I. I have this look on my face, and he’s like, what? What? Like, so his reaction to my finding out was to give me two weeks to find somewhere else to live. Wow.
Amy Stone [00:12:41]:
Okay, angel. Okay.
Anjl Rodee [00:12:42]:
Wow.
Amy Stone [00:12:43]:
All right. So he tells you, you have two weeks to find someplace else to live.
Anjl Rodee [00:12:47]:
Yeah. Yeah.
Amy Stone [00:12:49]:
All right. So you describe yourself when you. When you pitch this. You said. And I said this before, so I’m repeating what I said before. 2,000 miles away, that’s Wisconsin to Seattle and broke and Separated from everyone you knew. You’re new to Seattle, so that part makes sense. Tell us more about, like, you know, you’re in a new city. Like, tell us about being broke, having the two weeks, like, how broke were you? You’ve got like this freelance gig. Like, tell us more about this.
Anjl Rodee [00:13:20]:
Well, like I said, I sold my house for less than it was worth because we were in a hurry to leave town and I couldn’t just get a job. Doing my last job freelance was piecemeal. They’d pay me per project that I did, but it wasn’t necessarily full time money and I couldn’t get a job in my field as a graphic artist because the business model in Seattle is different than it is in the Midwest. In Seattle, which is the home of Microsoft and Amazon and Facebook, they contract all of their workers and all of their artists. They contract you for six months. If they like you, they will contract you for another six months. But you have to have your own equipment and your own programs. I had a great big land computer. I did not own a laptop. So I could not get a job. I had to do everything freelance. And again, I am there with, I don’t know anybody there.
Amy Stone [00:14:16]:
Right. You know, network. Right.
Anjl Rodee [00:14:18]:
And my daughter and her young family were four people in a two bedroom apartment. So I didn’t really have room for me, but she said I could sleep on her couch till I find something else. People back home were like, come and stay in my spare room while you look for another job. And I thought, that feels like a step backwards. It has cost me a lot emotionally to be here. I’m going to stick it out and figure out why the fates put me here.
Amy Stone [00:14:45]:
All right, so, yeah, like that. And you, you put this on the forum, which is an interesting point. We’re getting close to the finish line of this story. But you know, many people go through breakups and I’ve, I’ve told these stories. But you. How long were you in Seattle, like before this happened? Like, before you.
Anjl Rodee [00:15:01]:
Three to five weeks.
Amy Stone [00:15:02]:
That is so fast. You didn’t even know your way around the grocery store.
Anjl Rodee [00:15:05]:
I wasn’t even moved in yet. I hadn’t even finished unpacking the boxes yet.
Amy Stone [00:15:09]:
No, I mean, of course not. No. That takes a long time. Okay, so you choose to stay. And you said in your pitch you were like this. You consider this one of the best choices you’ve ever made. So that’s quite a pivot. So walk me through if you can. Why you, like you mentioned, you were like, I’m Gonna, you clearly have a connection to like an energetic thing. Like, why did the fates put me here? But walk me through like making this decision and going from WTF am I gonna do? To this was great.
Anjl Rodee [00:15:40]:
Well, the emotions I was going through, well back up even further. I grew up in a bit of a dysfunctional and alcoholic home. Like one out of four people, I.
Amy Stone [00:15:52]:
Was gonna say, I was gonna say like, yeah, I know.
Anjl Rodee [00:15:55]:
Like, like, yeah.
Amy Stone [00:15:56]:
Yes.
Anjl Rodee [00:15:57]:
And so I, I had a lot of imposter syndrome abandonment issues. So I didn’t have any real close connections with, with anyone really, because I thought I’ve got this really cool outer exterior, but if I let you in, you’re gonna see the socially unacceptable weirdo that lives behind the cool wall. So I didn’t let anybody in there. Which led to a lot of don’t, you can’t fire me. I quit. In friendships, much less relationships, I just kept people here. And when you don’t let people in, it’s just not sustainable. It feels like a lot of work for everybody. Right. And the fear of abandonment. Yeah. Came from, you know, my parents marriage broke up early. My mom wasn’t good with money, so we moved every two months. My biggest fear in life was living in a cardboard box. Right. Then what happens? All my greatest fears happened at the same time.
Amy Stone [00:16:54]:
This is the universe. This is the 2 by 4. This is a 2 by 4. If you don’t pay for, you don’t pay attention. Here comes the two by four. So yeah. Okay, so. And you knew, you were you aware of some of these things? Were you aware that you had some so overly self reliant. That’s how the abandonment shows up. Right. Like I’ll do it first. Right.
Anjl Rodee [00:17:15]:
Yeah.
Amy Stone [00:17:15]:
Fiercely. Were you were aware of that before this started? Like you were, you were. Already knew that about yourself.
Anjl Rodee [00:17:20]:
Yes, yes, I would say I was very self actualized about my baggage. No desire to work on it. Is that true? Gosh, I guess it is.
Amy Stone [00:17:31]:
Okay. All right, so. But your daughter, you have a daughter who’s an adult. All right, so you and a son. So you’ve got some life experience. Can’t have an easy to, to talk to your daughter and be like, sure, I’ll sleep on your couch for a little while because I’m, I don’t even have my feet under me in this new city.
Anjl Rodee [00:17:50]:
So. So because, you know, I thought, well, I’ll stay on her couch because I have to, but I won’t get any work done. I have to work freelance. I won’t get any Work done with two cute little grandbabies running around. So I’m gonna find someplace else to work that I can afford. And there are a lot of artists spaces available for rent in Seattle.
Amy Stone [00:18:11]:
Sales, Creative spaces.
Anjl Rodee [00:18:12]:
Creative spaces. You rent a, you know, four by 10 or something, place big enough to put an easel in. And the place that I went to look at actually had been a Fisherman’s Warehouse back in the day, right on Lake Union. And the space that they had available had been the office. So it had a pedestal sink and a toilet in it. And I thought, I can squat here. So I never actually stayed on my daughter’s couch. I just moved into the space. The walls didn’t even go all the way up to the ceiling. So I would work really loudly in the day, say goodbye to my artist friends, and leave and sneak back in. And then I told everybody I lived in the Anne Frank Hotel, because at night I would keep the lights off and I’d be very quiet and pretend that I wasn’t there.
Amy Stone [00:19:02]:
Turns out everybody knew I was gonna say, did you get caught? Did everybody know? Did they care?
Anjl Rodee [00:19:08]:
Caught? I guess so. Well, when I moved out, I wrote a long letter to the guy that owned the building, thanking him, telling him, because he. I know he had had issues with squatters before, but I. I was pretty sneaky and clean about it. And he said he knew, and he knew that I needed the leg up. And so he never said anything. And, man, what a gift. What a gift that was.
Amy Stone [00:19:31]:
Yeah, no, exactly. No, that’s. That’s. That’s an interesting part of the story. So you. You. So you didn’t actually sleep on the couch, but instead you slept on the floor in your loft, your artist space, which, I mean, that. That’s not super easy either. You must have been really, really on edge and motivated to make some changes.
Anjl Rodee [00:19:53]:
Yeah. And it started with, why I must be just entirely rejectable as a human, because who does that? We didn’t even fight. It’s not like we were even a bad couple. And you know what I mean? I’m like, how.
Amy Stone [00:20:06]:
So you turn the lens on yourself.
Anjl Rodee [00:20:08]:
Yeah.
Amy Stone [00:20:10]:
Okay. All right. So how does it shift to you? So. Because this is a rapid change, right? Like, I want to just reflect for everybody, like, because I just drew this. You sold a house in Wisconsin. So within a couple months, you go from being in a house that you own with, like, a mortgage and so on and so forth to 2,000 miles away, sleeping on the floor, keeping it a secret in a creative space. That’s a Massive change. So you internalize this. You’re making it about yourself. That hurts my heart. So tell us how you, how you switch that around.
Anjl Rodee [00:20:43]:
Craigslist. I, like I said, I didn’t expect it.
Amy Stone [00:20:48]:
Okay, Craigslist. All right, got it.
Anjl Rodee [00:20:49]:
I didn’t know anybody there, so any gigs that I was going to get and was going to be Craigslist. Okay, so three things happened from Craigslist. The first thing was in exchange for laying out an instructor’s manual, I got a job. I, I got a year’s membership at a hot yoga studio, a very swanky one in downtown Seattle that had showers and Aveda products.
Amy Stone [00:21:16]:
So now you have a place to shower and do self care. Yeah.
Anjl Rodee [00:21:19]:
Yeah. Thank you, Craigslist. Second thing that happened was a really great gluten free bakery, needed signage and menus and other graphic things. And in exchange, they gave me a gift card for their establishment that they just kept loading money on as I would do things for them. And that fed me.
Amy Stone [00:21:36]:
Oh my gosh. This is, this is, this is Hustle. Okay, this is, this is, this is Hustle. This is Hustle.
Anjl Rodee [00:21:42]:
But also, I really believe the world takes care of you if you, you know, if you. It. But also Hustle.
Amy Stone [00:21:49]:
Yeah, no, because I mean it definitely the world takes care of you and things will manifest. But there was always the choice to like not do it. Like you could have sat on the couch and played with the grandparents and grandkids and done the other things.
Anjl Rodee [00:22:01]:
So felt bad about myself. Yeah.
Amy Stone [00:22:03]:
Yes. And there’s so right now when we’re doing this, we’re having this conversation. White Lotus is a popular show that’s streaming and this really a funny clip of one of the characters who’s like, at this age, I don’t think that I can be uncomfortable. Like this is middle aged person. She just says, she says, I don’t think I can be uncomfortable at this age. But you went the other way. You were like, no, I’m. I’m doing it. So can I ask roughly what year was this that you were on Craigslist doing these things?
Anjl Rodee [00:22:32]:
Because I feel like 2011.
Amy Stone [00:22:35]:
Okay. I don’t even know. I haven’t been on Craigslist in a really long time. So I don’t even know what. Right. So but I mean, it was the, it was a, you know, it was, yeah, it was always a little bit iffy, but it was a way we connected with people for freelance gigs for sure. And you can, I want to give.
Anjl Rodee [00:22:50]:
You the third one.
Amy Stone [00:22:51]:
Quick, give me the third one. Right. The biggest one. Okay.
Anjl Rodee [00:22:53]:
So the, the third thing was I, I, I started getting junk mail from a, a local Buddhist temple that was within a mile of where I was squatting. And I went there at, at night and, and there weren’t any programs going on or anything, but there’s a young man in, and I walk in and he said to me earnestly, can I help you? And I started bawling and it’s like, you’re okay, you’re okay. And he hugged me. So Buddhism is the third thing that came to me. And the answer to why me is it doesn’t matter why. Here you are. And that was, that was the life altering thing besides, so I was able to be grateful for the things that, that the world was, was showing to me. And like you said, you got to buy a lottery ticket to win the lottery.
Amy Stone [00:23:46]:
You got to be in it to win it.
Anjl Rodee [00:23:48]:
Got to be in it to win it. And yeah, so, so, so those three things just. And I instantly forgave that guy. He can’t help it. That’s his personality. It wasn’t personal. And that was such a, kept me from being up nights thinking harmful self harming thoughts. Right. Yeah, because that was a thing. And yeah, and just, and just to be in, in the moment and what can I do right now? And here I am right now. And, and the, the reason I’m so grateful that all of this happened to me, Amy, is because everything that I thought was the scariest thing that could happen to me happened to me all at once. And not only did I not die, I am bulletproof. You can put me down in the middle of anywhere on the planet and I am going to be just fine. And within a short amount of time, my world didn’t build up looking the same as it did in the Midwest. I wasn’t a musician in Seattle, but I became a comedian of all things. Okay, so still in the entertainment world. So. Right. So everything that I thought was fake about me, I’m like, oh, I guess I am an entertainer. I am these things. I am these things because I’m still the same. I’m without the stuff that I thought I had built up in a, in a fake, in an imposter way was there. So I am so solid. I am, I am so grateful to that guy.
Amy Stone [00:25:16]:
So then when you get involved at the Buddhist temple, does this mean that you are, you’re going, you begin to go and do the classes on meditation and acceptance and allowing. And Buddhist, Buddhists take that, that isn’t, they take it to a whole new level. Like I listen to Tara Brock, who writes a lot about Buddhist teachings. I think she’s a wonderful teacher about radical acceptance. But I, I, she’s better at it than I am. And so, you know, like I, you know, it’s like it’s, I, I see it and I admire it and I see it as a goal. But sometimes I think the Buddhists are better at it than I am. And I strive for.
Anjl Rodee [00:25:55]:
Is, it is just like other things that are a practice, like yoga. It is a practice and if you, you know, you back away from it for a while, you gotta build back up to it again. So that is a thing. That is a thing.
Amy Stone [00:26:07]:
100%. So how, how long are you living? How long are you squatting in your creator space?
Anjl Rodee [00:26:13]:
I’m going to say a year and a half. And the reason it was so long is because I, a few months after getting there, I had a thing called intussusception. I don’t know if you know what that is. It’s common in dogs and babies, but not common in adults. And it is where your intestines.
Amy Stone [00:26:37]:
Oh, they fold in on each other. Yeah, yeah. And so did you end up in the hospital and have to have surgery?
Anjl Rodee [00:26:43]:
Yeah, yeah. Like after four days of not even keeping water down, I thought I had the flu. I didn’t have insurance, of course, so I just thought I had the flu. So I was gonna sit and wait it out. And after four days I could feel things starting to shut down. So I went to the hospital and they’re like, you were probably hours away from expiring because you’re, you’re digest, you’re, you need water.
Amy Stone [00:27:04]:
Right? Your intestine like digests itself because it folds over. Yes.
Anjl Rodee [00:27:07]:
It eats itself.
Amy Stone [00:27:08]:
Yes, exactly that. I did not know the word for it, but I do, I had, I do know somebody that, that happened to. So I, I talked to a lot of people. I accumulate a lot of stories, must be, but I did not, I would not have come at that. So a year and a half. So in the, in the beginning of this, so you get really super sick. I can’t imagine where your mindset was at that point. Like you mentioned that you got to a point where you were actively thinking about self harm and think that sometimes it’s hard for people to imagine that. But in with this set of circumstances stacking up, I think that most of us can imagine that this was a bleak, bleak part of your life. You’ve got two kids, you’re an established adult and you find yourself squatting and then sick in the hospital with nowhere to go. Wow.
Anjl Rodee [00:27:55]:
Yeah, yeah. It was a lot.
Amy Stone [00:27:57]:
It was a lot. It was a lot. So you’re there for a year and a half. Which makes more sense how he caught on to the fact that you were there because that would be a hard secret to keep for a year and a half that you were living there. You’re showering at the yoga. The yoga Pilates studio. Thank you. To them. Eating from the gluten free bakery, studying with the Buddhists. So how, how does, how do you. So then now. And now you’re back in Wisconsin.
Anjl Rodee [00:28:26]:
Yes. Yeah.
Amy Stone [00:28:27]:
Okay. So you become a comedian. Give us the highlight of how this transfer. Like you forgive this guy, but I hope also you say, I don’t actually need to hang out with him anymore.
Anjl Rodee [00:28:36]:
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Amy Stone [00:28:38]:
Thank you. Goodbye. And so you’re going through this process a year and a half. Do you move out of the creative space into and back to Wisconsin or what happens?
Anjl Rodee [00:28:49]:
Nope. Well, the longer you are, you don’t have an address, the less, the more, the less likely somebody will give you a lease to live somewhere. Right?
Amy Stone [00:29:02]:
Oh, sure. Because you don’t have an address.
Anjl Rodee [00:29:03]:
Yeah, yeah. So I, when I finally. That. That started to be a thing. The housing that I eventually found was actually an artist’s residency in Seattle. Seattle gives back to the arts in three different ways. In Seattle, 1% of Seattle’s income goes to the arts. They support public works of art and they have grants and things for shows and things. And also they have housing so that artists don’t have to have second jobs if they are contributing to the arts, either as a poet, an actor, a dancer, or whatever. And so it’s just amazing. And so these big industrial lofts and applied to get in and they really wanted to talk to my landlord. I didn’t have it because I used my daughter’s address and yeah, you know, my name isn’t on the lease or anything. So I finally had to come clean to the people that I And. And they were, they were fine. They. They were so good and kind. I don’t know if every landlord would have been, but in this place, in this situation, they were. They were really kind.
Amy Stone [00:30:15]:
That’s amazing. So you move into a residence for artists. When do you pick up comedy?
Anjl Rodee [00:30:22]:
Actually within a couple of months of moving to Seattle, I was missing home. So I would go and watch the Green Bay packers at a local packers bar. There’s one everywhere. And got to know a young man who actually had just Moved from Milwaukee to Seattle to open comedy sports. Are you familiar? It’s a. No, but I. Yeah, it’s a franchise that. It’s like, Whose Line is It Anyway? Only with two teams and a referee.
Amy Stone [00:30:52]:
Oh, that sounds fun.
Anjl Rodee [00:30:53]:
It’s amazing. I’m so biased. It’s awesome. They just play comedy as if it is a sport. So. So he had just moved there within two months that I had moved there. He also didn’t know anybody there, so we became instant best friends. And I started doing comedy with comedy sports. And from that, I also started doing stand up as a musician. I write parodies about menopause.
Amy Stone [00:31:20]:
Okay.
Anjl Rodee [00:31:20]:
So. So that. So. So that’s. That’s what I did. Yeah, that’s.
Amy Stone [00:31:24]:
How long did you stay in Seattle?
Anjl Rodee [00:31:28]:
12 or 13. 14 years. 14 years.
Amy Stone [00:31:31]:
13 or 14 years. And why did you. Why did you decide to move back to Wisconsin?
Anjl Rodee [00:31:37]:
During the pandemic, I was binging the Gilmore Girls like you do, and I.
Amy Stone [00:31:42]:
Was thinking, as one does, okay, I.
Anjl Rodee [00:31:45]:
Wish I lived in a cute little town where everyone knows the postman. I grew up in that town, and I did. And not. Yeah. And I would come back to visit, and I would stay with my aunt who had a couple of free extra bedrooms in her place because I would stay for a month at a time. And she was telling me about the young man that was moving in up upstairs from her place. And I said, hey, if he ever moves out, let me know. Because she wasn’t charging a lot of money for rent. It was like a quarter of what I was paying for downtown Seattle. And like a. Like a couple of years later, 2021 or so 20. Around 2022, somewhere in there, she said, hey, hey, he’s got a condo. Do you want the space? I said, yes. And then I hung up. And I thought, what did I just do? I built up this big business in Seattle now. Ah, what did I just do? And I thought, I can afford both. So for two years, I drove back and forth as the wind would blow me every few months or so, 2,001 miles, door to door with my cat.
Amy Stone [00:32:54]:
And there’s such good travelers in the car. Cats.
Anjl Rodee [00:32:56]:
Oh, my gosh, she’s so good.
Amy Stone [00:32:58]:
Is she good? Oh, I was making a joke.
Anjl Rodee [00:33:00]:
No. Yeah, no, she’s.
Amy Stone [00:33:01]:
She’s good. Okay. Okay.
Anjl Rodee [00:33:02]:
Yeah. Loves it. She loves it. So sometimes I would take 28 hours and drive I I 90 and get there in two audiobooks. And sometimes I take two weeks and go south and hit every national park or Route 66. I did that for Like a year and a half, almost two years. And then I was in Seattle in 2023 and thought, I wish I was wishing I was in Wisconsin. So my grandkids there now are 18 and 15, and my grandkids here. My son is still in Wisconsin. His kids are 4 and 5. And I thought, oh, I got to watch those two grow up. Now I get to watch these two grow up. So that’s why I migrated back here. My work is all virtual, though, so I can be anywhere. So I do travel a lot because I can and just do my. Do my thing from wherever I am.
Amy Stone [00:33:46]:
So one of the things that I love about your story, which is not actually about your story, but that has come up in my mind while you were talking about it, is that a lot of people feel like they are committed to the path of their life when their kids, you know, they raised their kids, and they’re committed to their career. And there’s a lot of fear and apprehension about changing, but you really went through a 100% overhaul at that point. You moved cities, you changed, you reset completely, like starting over, a lot of hardship. You change careers, you change friend groups, all of those things. And our full reinvention. That’s very inspirational.
Anjl Rodee [00:34:26]:
Yeah. And it was unintentional. Right. So right when I, Before I was what you planned.
Amy Stone [00:34:31]:
It wasn’t what I planned. Map it out. You mapped out you were moving there to get married and be with this guy.
Anjl Rodee [00:34:36]:
Exactly.
Amy Stone [00:34:36]:
That’s not what happened.
Anjl Rodee [00:34:37]:
Exactly. Yep. I, I, I had said before that when people would say, you should work freelance or be your own boss, I thought, nope, I’m comfortable working 9 to 5 and having a check show up every two weeks. I am fine with that life. And now it’s been, what, 15 years? Whatever it’s been, I am so enthralled with my life, and had I not been forced to make that jump, I don’t know that I would have. So that’s another reason I’m grateful.
Amy Stone [00:35:06]:
Yeah, well, sometimes I ask you that question. I would not have asked you here because it was totally a force. But sometimes I say, hey, do you think you would have made this change if you hadn’t been pushed? But this does sound like you were, that you would not have, you wouldn’t have elected so many parts of this. You wouldn’t have elected to be the squatter in the creative space. You wouldn’t have elected to get sick. You wouldn’t have elected to be, you know, under the pressure. What would you say when you look back and you think about it, now that it’s all over and things are. Things are done. What would you say if you had to pick one thing that was the single hardest part of that 18 months after you got to Seattle? What would it be?
Anjl Rodee [00:35:42]:
The. The mental blocks is the hardest thing, because that’s the thing that doesn’t shut off. Right. It’s the. It’s the thing that it’s not separate from yourself. It’s something that’s separate from yourself. It’s easy to change your mind about.
Amy Stone [00:36:01]:
Okay.
Anjl Rodee [00:36:02]:
But the. The thing that. The voice that’s living inside your head, that’s the. That was the hardest thing to turn around. And had it. Had it not been, and when these were forced upon me, but kind of forced upon me, I wouldn’t have. But I see. I so see the value now because. Because life. Life does this. Right. And people work really hard to keep it right here. But. But this is not super. Well, this is not really right.
Amy Stone [00:36:32]:
There’s no straight line.
Anjl Rodee [00:36:33]:
There’s no straight line. Yeah. And you don’t appreciate this if you.
Amy Stone [00:36:37]:
Don’T have ebbs and flows. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The peaks and the valleys. Yes, the peaks in the valleys. Absolutely. No, I think that’s true. And we fear the valleys.
Anjl Rodee [00:36:47]:
Yes.
Amy Stone [00:36:48]:
I find that sometimes you don’t know you’re in the peaks and valleys until you look back. Like, I mean, you sometimes do. Sometimes you’re aware. You’re like. I mean, when you were squatting in the creative space, you probably really knew. You were like, this is not a peak. This is not a high point. But sometimes you don’t know. Sometimes you think you’re at a high point, and then you look back, you’re like, oh, my God, that sucked. But, yeah, but we make our way through it. So would you say the support you had that was helpful in the moment for the mental stuff was primarily the Buddhist teachings and working with the temple?
Anjl Rodee [00:37:17]:
Yeah, absolutely. Yep. That’s the thing that took me, third person. To look at everything from the outside. Yeah, absolutely. And to stay in the moment and also just take a step back, because when you’re in the middle of a fog, the fog can be just a. This. This big, and all you see is fog. Right, yeah. So taking a step back and looking third person at the thing, you’re like, okay, that’s going to clear up in a second.
Amy Stone [00:37:41]:
Yeah. The tools of being an observer of your own life. 100%. So. All right, so that is. That is an amazing story. I am not sure that I would be as Kind to some of the parts of it if I had lived it, because it sounds like it was really, really hard. But I want to thank you for sharing that as an inspiration. I want to. In a minute, we’re going to do the final questions, the fun questions, but I want to give you a chance to. To tell people about what you do. You said you work online, what you do, how they can find you and connect with you online.
Anjl Rodee [00:38:11]:
Yeah, yeah. My company’s called Brushcapades and like Ice Capades. Like Ice Capades, exactly that. Only with a paintbrush. Adventures with paint. Yeah, very good. It’s my new tagline. It just came up with that. So. So what I do is twofold. I show people how to paint a thing, but more importantly, I show people that they are an artist and that we are all artists. And it’s inherent to what we are. It’s important for anxiety and depression and sleeplessness and self esteem. It’s integral to what we are as a creature. And having a creative practice is just super, super important. So giving people that bravery is what I do.
Amy Stone [00:38:54]:
All right. And so brush Creatives. You describe it as an online creative studio. You host virtual art classes for groups large and small. Acrylic painting, watercolor sketching, and caricature drawing. That sounds super fun for people who are listening to the audio only version. You don’t see this, but she’s in her studio. She’s got a beautiful. She’s got all these paints behind her, acrylic and oil and all kind of fun stuff behind her. And some artwork, some brushes. If you’re watching on the video, you definitely see that. We’ll put links to Brush Capades in the show notes and also that. So you’ll find that in your podcast player or on YouTube and if you’re a subscriber to the Imperfect Adulting email newsletter, I send it right to you in your email box. That’s the easiest way to get it. All right. So, angel, are you ready for the final three questions?
Anjl Rodee [00:39:39]:
So ready.
Amy Stone [00:39:40]:
All right, let’s do it. Just for fun. The idea is you just answer with whatever comes to mind. I think you’re going to be good at this. Okay. This is one of the more random questions I’ve come up with, I have to admit. Okay. Do you use a reusable water bottle? And if so, what’s your favorite brand of water bottle that you use?
Anjl Rodee [00:39:55]:
I do not. I. I drink filtered water, but I just use a regular glass. I don’t.
Amy Stone [00:40:00]:
Just a regular glass. All right, very good, very good. Okay, so in your bio, you described yourself as an artist and a comedian. And my question for you now is, do you have a favorite contemporary comedian, somebody who you really enjoy, who’s performing now?
Anjl Rodee [00:40:14]:
Oh, gosh. I. I’m just a super fan of Kristen Wiig, and just looking at this makes me just crack up. I love her.
Amy Stone [00:40:22]:
All right, very good. What is one of your favorite things that she’s been in, like a movie or is it the SNL stuff or what do you.
Anjl Rodee [00:40:29]:
It’s the SNL stuff, definitely.
Amy Stone [00:40:30]:
Yeah, she is very funny. There is. I caught it the other day. I caught a clip. Something fed it to me and it was like, you know, the SNL characters, like breaking character. I think those are so. I think those are. Those can be really, really funny. All right, so, okay, so if you read books, what is the last book you read or listened to and do you recommend it?
Anjl Rodee [00:40:51]:
I do. Gosh. Well, I can’t think of the name of it because I listen to audiobooks, so I’m not all staring at the title. Like 101 Questions to Ask Yourself. I think it’s that it’s fantastic. I had to stop pause it often so I could really, really ingest the questions that were just asked. And I love it. Love that book.
Amy Stone [00:41:12]:
Very good, they say. So I also listen to audiobooks and every once in a while I’ll find myself wearing the printed book. And the audiobook seems like. Seems like an overabundance of copies of the books, to tell you the truth. But then they do it and you can like highlight things. And so it’s an effective.
Anjl Rodee [00:41:28]:
I have one other book I want to. I want to tell you about because it’s like an all time favorite. It’s called how to be an Adult in Relationships. And it sounds very passive aggressive, but it’s all about kinder self language is what that book is. So instead of saying, I’ve got a lot of baggage, I have a skill set that I needed when I was a child that I no longer need. That book has been just life altering for me as well.
Amy Stone [00:41:50]:
That’s a great suggestion. So that’s about talking about yourself and not how to talk to necessarily other people in your relationship. Yeah, I do tell people this all the time. So, like in my marriage, early on, we were doing couples counseling and anybody who’s worked with me as coaching has heard this story because it comes up all the time and they always tell you, they’re like, use I statements. Use I statements. And I thought I was doing that, but then it came out that I was like, I really think you’re doing this wrong. And the therapist was like, that’s not what we mean. Amy is not what we mean. Let’s go back to the drawing board. Sky was like, oh, I have that wrong. It’s not helpful. Okay. All right. That’s it. Angel. Rody, thank you so much for being a wonderful guest on the Art of Imperfect Adulting.
Anjl Rodee [00:42:33]:
This is so fun. Thank you for having me.